


I'll Remember

by PurrfectStories



Series: Soldier Boy [1]
Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Angst, Army, Boys Kissing, Brain Surgery, Declarations Of Love, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Falling In Love, Fatherhood, Flashbacks, Fluff, Headaches & Migraines, Homophobic Language, Hurt/Comfort, Long-Distance Relationship, Love Letters, M/M, Major Illness, Marriage Proposal, Married Couple, Memories, Memory Loss, Mood Swings, Parenthood, Romance, Same-Sex Marriage, Single Parents, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-02
Updated: 2015-04-04
Packaged: 2018-03-04 22:18:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 13
Words: 64,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3093101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PurrfectStories/pseuds/PurrfectStories
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kurt is sick in the hospital and his memory is getting worse every day. When he is finally told he needs surgery, Kurt is adamant about waiting until his husband, Blaine, can be there by his side. However, Blaine is a soldier away on active duty. Will he be able to make it home before Kurt's condition takes a turn for the worse? Soldier!Blaine and Tumor!Kurt</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Coming Home

**Author's Note:**

> So this idea kept buzzing around in my head. I finally wrote it down.
> 
> Hope y'all like it!
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or any of it's character's. I'm not affiliated with anybody nor will I make any profit from this story. I own absolutely nothing and am just humoring my own insanity. I don't know or own the actors that portray these characters. Everything belongs to Ryan Murphy, Glee, Fox and anyone else that has patent over Glee and it's characters. Everything I know about army regulations and hospital procedures has been taken from the internet! Hope I covered everything I don't own!

(Chapter 1)

 

"Hi, Kurt. How are you feeling today?"

 

"Oh absolutely splendid, Quinn. The pasty colored walls and crisp smell of chemicals just perks me the hell up."

 

"When are you ever going to call me Dr. Fabray?"

 

"When I finally forget that we ever went to school together."

 

Quinn's attitude dissipated immediately, her face softening, maybe even a tinge of sadness crossing her features. "I told you we'd find out what the problem was before anything that drastic happened."

 

"Really? Because I don't remember that conversation happening between us, nor do I remember how long I've actually been here. This. Is. Ridiculous!" Kurt shouted, huffing in frustration at the confusion of it all.

 

However, Quinn didn't seem fazed. She just came over to Kurt's hospital bed and rubbed his arm soothingly, catching sight of the moisture prickling at the corners of Kurt's eyes. "Your dad brought you in. The University called him and said you collapsed in the middle of a lecture. When he rushed to get you from their on campus clinic, he found you vomiting into a trashcan."

 

"Oh my God…my students! Tests are in a couple of weeks and I still have to come up with a theme for their Fashion Final!" Kurt panicked.

 

Quinn chuckled, "No, no. You colleague, Sugar, took over your classes for the time being. It's just until you've found out what was wrong and have recovered enough to go back to teaching. You're one of their prize professors in the Fashion department after all."

 

Kurt scoffed, "She's hardly the person I would choose to—hold up! You don't even know what's wrong with me?"

 

"That…is also why I'm here. We did another work up…and we found something." Quinn leveled, her voice evening out into that monotone doctor voice.

 

"Tell me." Quinn pursed her lips in contemplation. "Please, Quinn. I don't care if I'll forget in the next minute or whatever. I just…I have to know."

 

Quinn nodded, pulling out a manila envelope from the inside of her white coat. She opened the flap to pull out some scans. Then she held them up to the light. "This is a scan of your brain."

 

"It's a fabulous brain."

 

"Only second to my own." Kurt scoffed, and Quinn gave a slight smile. "Now, you see this mass right here?" She pointed out.

 

Kurt's face paled, a churning in his gut making him want to dry heave. "Quinn, I know I'm not the smartest person here. But is that…?"

 

Quinn nodded sympathetically. "I'm sorry, Kurt. I really am, you have a tumor." She squeezed his shoulder. "But I do have some good news."

 

Kurt let out a humorless chuckle. "Yeah? What could possibly constitute as good news after that?"

 

"It's benign. The tumor's not cancerous. Given your mother's history and what happened to her, I'd say this is good news. All we have to do is cut it out, and you'll be good as new."

 

"Are you talking…brain surgery? I need brain surgery?!" Kurt plopped his head back into the pillow and threw an arm over his face. A burning in his throat occurring with how much he wanted to cry and his sniffles being the only sound to be heard in the otherwise quiet hospital room. "I…want…Blaine."

 

"He's on active duty, Kurt."

 

"I know he's on active duty! My husband is on a 12-month deployment and I know that! I have not reached the point where I have forgotten about my own husband, DOCTOR FABRAY!" Kurt shouted at her, immediately feeling bad about taking out his frustrations on her when she got a slight look of hurt on her face. "I'm…I'm sorry. I…I just…"

 

"Kurt, it's okay. The tumor is messing with you in a lot of ways. I'll let you have some time to take it in. Carole will come by with your lunch, and in a couple of hours your dad will be out of work to visit you with Finn. And I will be back later…to discuss the surgery, okay?" Quinn said lightly, stroking her friend's hair gently.

 

"Okay…" Kurt said pathetically, swiping at the tearstains on his face.

 

"Here, I also brought these for you." When Kurt glanced up, he saw a pen and a sticky note pad being handed to him. "I figured you could write things down and post them around you. You know, so you can keep track of certain things."

 

Kurt accepted them, giving Quinn a watery smile before rolling his eyes at the bright pink color of the notes. "Thank you."

 

"Oh, and Kurt? I don't think you remember, but there is a letter from Blaine you keep under your pillow." She smiled at him, heart aching at the way his glassy eyes positively lit up at the information.

 

Quinn then turned on her heel and exited the room, closing the sliding door behind her. She walked over to the nearest closet and closed the door behind her. Gasps of air hiccupped from her mouth as she finally let the tears fall. Her delicate hand coming to try and muffle the sobs that wanted to escape her. For several minutes she let herself silently cry, asking the Lord that she prayed to so much why this had to happen to him. She jumped when the door opened, getting ready to claw out an intern's eyes for catching her in such a ruffled state, but she immediately retracted her claws when she saw it was Carole.

 

"Carole."

 

"Hi, honey."

 

"His memory is getting worse, he's forgotten again."

 

"I know…but, but I heard you finally have a diagnosis, right?"

 

"Yes, but it won't make what's happened any easier."

 

Meanwhile, Kurt eagerly reached under his pillow, pulling out the worn piece of paper. He'd obviously read it time and time again, though what it said Kurt wasn't really sure. There was only one way to find out. Kurt opened the letter and smiled, a picture falling out of his husband. He was in some camouflage pants and an army green shirt, his arm thrown around one of his fellow army buddies who had short-cropped, curly blonde hair. Rubbing a thumb over his husband's face, Kurt went back to read the letter.

 

**~~Kurt Anderson~~ **

**~~Kurt Hummel-Anderson~~ **

**~~Mr. Hummel-Anderson~~ **

**~~Mr. Kurt Anderson~~ **

**My love,**

**Almost five years have gone by and I still can’t get over the fact that you’re legally my husband. Jeremiah thinks I’m still nothing but a love struck teenager, but how can I not be when everyday I wake up knowing you agreed to forever with me? Okay, I’m being mushy, I can see you rolling your eyes at me. Your beautiful unique glasz eyes that I miss seeing even when they are glaring at me with that seriously scary look you do because I’ve put my foot in my mouth (again!). Anyways, have I got some news for you!**

**I’m coming home, baby.**

**My R &R is coming up soon. Two weeks of just you and me. After we visit your ~~pants~~ (PARENTS! I meant parents) and Finn, I’m locking us upstairs in our bedroom. I need to get reacquainted with that perfect body of yours. I miss those noises you make, and the dirty things you say when I’m deep inside you. And God, I didn’t intend to write that. Please don’t show this to Carole or Burt (But say Hi to them for me! And Finn too! I miss them…but I will always miss you the most).**

~~**Hi, Kurt! This is Jeremiah! Please work your boy over good and hard before you send him back here. His whining and sexual frustration is getting on my nerv **—**** ~~

**Dammit! I hate Jeremiah now! He is not my friend anymore! (I’m just kidding, but I’m pretending I’m mad at him so he can feel bad and split his last Snickers bar with me. YUM!)**

**Anyway, I can’t wait for you to tell me all the wonderful things you’ve done at school when I get back. I know it’s hard to be away for so long. The occasional phone call or Skype session isn’t enough, but just remember.**

**I love you.**

**I know you never intended to fall in love with a hobbit of a soldier like me, but I’m glad you did. When it gets hard, I just remember what I’m fighting for. I’m protecting what I love. My home. My friends. My family. My Kurt.**

**I’ll be home soon, baby. Nothing can keep me away from you.**

**All my love and more,**

**Your Blaine**

~~**And Jeremiah!** ~~

**No…no…just no.**

**You ruined it, Jeremiah.**

**Get out.**

**Great, now he’s pouting. I have to split my Twix with him.**

**P.S. I love you, Kurt!**

**P.P.S. I apologize for the chocolate smudges on the letter. It’s Jeremiah’s fault.**

 

Kurt chuckled all throughout the letter. Blaine's quirkiness shining through and actually making him feel better. He didn't know how many times he's read this letter, but he could read it over and over again without getting tired of it. The ink on the postmark was smudged so he couldn't decipher the date too well, but Blaine had written 'soon.' So…maybe he could have the surgery when Blaine was there with him. Blaine should be coming home, and he would to be here for Kurt, right?

 

Kurt's heart leapt. Yeah, he could do anything when Blaine was by his side. So he had an upset stomach and a few headaches…oh and the memory thing. That was bad, but he didn't have cancer. So he could wait a few days. He would. He would wait for Blaine. Blaine would want to be here for something as serious as brain surgery. So it's decided, Kurt wrote down various things on the notes. His decision, what Quinn told him, the letter under his pillow, Blaine's upcoming R&R. Yeah, he needed to remember this.

 

A smile crept across Kurt's face. He wasn't sure how soon he'd forget what he'd just learned, but for right now he could remember. And what he felt like remembering right this second…was the first time he and Blaine met.

 

* * *

 

 

" _Kurt, Kurt look!"_

 

" _What!"_

 

" _That guy has been staring at our table the whole night. Do you think he's going to buy me a drink?"_

 

" _Rachel, I honestly don't know."_

 

" _Party pooper. Come on, just glance over. He's so cute!"_

 

_Kurt rolled his eyes at his friend, glancing to the side to see a man with short black curls, angular features, and deliciously lean muscled arms folded atop his table. He was staring at their table with a smirk, and completely ignoring the other guys sitting at the table with him. Kurt gulped, damn, he was hot, but if he's been staring at Rachel all night, then what chance did he have with a straight guy? Kurt quickly shook himself and turned back to Rachel, "Well, if he buys you a drink, I approve. Happy?"_

 

" _Wow, you're bitchy. Still no luck finding a job, huh?"_

 

" _Hearing 'you're very talented, but we're just not looking for designs with THAT unique a twist' for the sixth time is not exactly aspiring any confidence in me."_

 

" _Well if your outfit is anything to go by, then they are seriously missing out. I, for one, love that jauntily placed cap, like a Russian Tsar."_

 

_Rachel and Kurt both gasped. Turning to the side and realizing that the same man who had been eyeing their table was standing in front of them, apparently eavesdropping on their conversation. Rachel was batting her eyelashes and tilting her head a bit more to try and catch the guy's line of sight, but apparently his eyes were only there for Kurt._

 

_Kurt composed himself after a moment and raised an eyebrow, "Excuse you, but when is it ever okay to eavesdrop on a conversation that you aren't apart of?"_

 

_The man only smiled, "You're absolutely right. How rude of me. Might I buy you and your gorgeous friend here a drink in apology?"_

 

_Rachel absolutely swooned; she was half a centimeter away from falling out of her chair. However, Kurt was still not amused. "When you put it like that…how about, no."_

 

_Kurt ignored the kick in the leg he received from Rachel, resisting the urge to pointedly glare at her. The dark haired man chuckled, "I'm not that easily discouraged, you know."_

 

_This time, Kurt did turn fully towards him. "Really? And what exactly are you so determined to get?"_

 

_The other male didn't seem deterred by Kurt's snippiness. Actually, he leaned in close to Kurt too. Only a few inches of space separated their faces now. "You, of course." Kurt scoffed. "No, seriously. While I was back over there, and not so subtly checking out how amazing your ass looks in these skintight jeans, there was only one thing running through my mind."_

 

" _Was there?"_

 

" _Yes, and I just had to rush over here to tell you."_

 

" _What would that be?"_

 

" _You look cute…like, dirty cute."_

 

_Kurt jerked back and spluttered, blushing when the guy got a sexy grin on his face and trying not to throw his drink at Rachel when she giggled loudly at the spectacle. "I-I…I think its time for you to go back to your friends now."_

 

" _Without a number? Or even a name? I'll be humiliated."_

 

" _His name is Kurt!"_

 

" _Rachel!" This time, Kurt kicked her under the table._

 

" _Kurt, huh? I like it."_

 

" _Well, I'm so happy you approve." Kurt said sarcastically._

 

" _My name is Blaine."_

 

_Kurt folded his arms over his chest, "Good for you. Well, you have a name. You can go now." The guy, now deemed Blaine, just stood there. "Oh my gosh, what?"_

 

" _I'm just waiting for your stunning friend to blurt out your number."_

 

_Rachel beamed, "Oh! Its…"_

 

_Kurt gave her his scariest bitch glare, "Don't. You. Dare."_

 

" _Oooh, so close." Blaine chirped, snapping his fingers in a mock-disgruntled manner._

 

" _You are not going away, are you?" Kurt laughed, the whole exchange completely making him forget about his bad luck. This Blaine character's persistence actually ripping him out of his bitchy mood and putting a smile on his face, even if Blaine couldn't see it because Kurt was shaking his head at him._

 

" _Just call me, Mr. Determination." Blaine chuckled._

 

" _All right, you want a number? I'll give it to you."_

 

_Blaine got a skeptical look on his face, "Why do I get the feeling there's a catch?"_

 

_Kurt smiled wickedly, "Oh, maybe because there is?" He grabbed Blaine by his collared polo and pulled him to stand between Kurt's legs, thoroughly enjoying the fact that Blaine was now the one blushing. He ignored the whoops and hollers that were directed towards him, presumable from Blaine's friends. "I'll tell you my number, and if you can remember it, then you can call me." Next, Kurt leant up to quickly whisper his number into Blaine's ear. Then he pulled back, and pushed Blaine away, sending him back to his friends._

 

_When he turned back to see Rachel smirking at him, he chuckled at the fact that he actually did that. "So…did you give him your actual number?"_

 

_Kurt smiled a bit shyly, "I…might have, yes."_

 

_Rachel had to suppress a squeal as she clasped her hands together. "What if he calls and asks you out? Would you go?"_

 

_Kurt looked back over at the table, watching as the guys poked and taunted Blaine good-heartedly at what had probably occurred between Blaine and him. "You know what? I probably would."_

 

_A day or so passed, and Kurt had almost forgotten about his encounter with the obnoxiously cute Blaine. Almost. That is, until he received a phone call from an unknown number. One that, when he answered, the first thing to greet him was, "Hey, I remembered."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! First chapter! Please comment, kudos, subscribe, and bookmark if you want this story to continue. I would really like to hear your thoughts about it! Thank you! :D


	2. To Serve and Protect and All That Jazz

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blaine finally reveals his secret, Kurt is now losing chunks of his memory, the two say goodbye to each other for the first time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot of angst in this chapter, but I hope I balanced it out with the fluffiness in here too.
> 
> Oh! And I think I REALLY tested the boundaries of the Rated T warnings. I believe I stayed within limits, but if not, let's let it be our little secret. Kay? :D
> 
> And before i forget, THANK YOU for your amazing comments and interest in this story.
> 
> I love you all, and Happy Reading!
> 
> No beta. All mistakes are my own.
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing, nothing, nothing. No profit made etc. See Chapter 1 for more elaborate disclaimer.

(Chapter 2)

 

_Kurt smiled from ear to ear as he watched Blaine place a delectable looking plate of Chicken Alfredo in front of him. Blaine had insisted that after the weeks they'd spent together, it was about time he cooked Kurt dinner. The blushing fashionista had consented, of course, Blaine proved to be very persuasive when he directed Kurt with his heated stare of golden honey bedroom eyes. Yes, they were bedroom eyes; Kurt could find no other way to describe them. So that's how they found themselves that Friday evening, in Kurt's apartment with Blaine pouring him wine that he'd insisted went fabulously with the pasta. Blaine finished his rummaging around in the kitchen with the stripping off of the apron he'd borrowed from Kurt, one of the hand-embroidered aprons that read 'I cook, You clean.'_

 

" _Dinner by candle light, Mister Anderson? Careful now, I think your decency is showing." Kurt teased, sipping the rich tasting wine as his eyes roamed over his date's ensemble. A black button down with a dark silver bowtie, matching dark silver dress pants, and black shoes encompassed his compact form. It was the perfect mix of understated with a dash of flare, and Kurt could not wait to see what that outfit would look like crumpled on his bedroom floor._

 

_Blaine took his seat across from Kurt, gently placing the cloth napkin in his lap and chuckling nervously before he answered. "I guess you just bring out the humbleness in me. I-Is it too much?"_

 

_Kurt's eyes softened, reaching his hand out to grasp Blaine's and keep it from fiddling with a loose piece of thread from the tablecloth. "No, it's…completely romantic actually. What did you do? Major in courtship or something?"_

 

_Blaine chuckled again, "Courtship? Are we back in the Victorian ages now?"_

 

" _Oh shut up and let me enjoy my pasta."_

 

" _I promise it's delicious."_

 

" _I'll be the judge of that, Mr. Cocky Pants."_

 

" _So many innuendoes…"_

 

" _I will kick you."_

 

" _Feisty." Blaine smirked, hooking his ankle with Kurt's under the table when he saw the brunette getting flustered. A tender look crossed his features when Kurt proceeded to tangle their ankles together in reciprocation. The meal was delicious, of course, something that Kurt continued to praise Blaine for after he moaned around the first bite. The wine was wonderful too, so much so that the two were well into their second bottle._

 

_With the warmth of wine coursing through their veins, the couple had moved to the living room, easily and languidly. They had kicked their shoes off as they cuddled up on the couch, looking at each other and talking aimlessly through the happy smiles firmly in place on their faces. Though the unexpected thing that happened was after Kurt grabbed their empty wine glasses and placed them on his coffee table. He looked over at Blaine, blue eyes dark and azure as he climbed onto the shorter male, straddling him. The hazel-eyed boy gasped, the warm weight settling in his lap making his stomach flip and his heart beat faster._

 

" _Wait, Kurt…" Blaine didn't get a chance to finish, his words swallowed up in the other's mouth as he was pulled into a passionate kiss. He clutched at the paler boy's lavender dress shirt, instinctively pulling the other body closer and relishing in the intense heat radiating between their bodies._

 

_Kurt moaned, wrapping his arms around the dark-haired boy's neck to make their kiss deeper, hotter, and messier. Rich wine with a hint of garlic still palatable on their tongues, a delicious kiss they couldn't get enough of. The ferocity behind their little make out was unlike anything either man had ever felt, both evident with desperation. Their tongues caressed each other wetly; Kurt felt the rumbling moans in Blaine's chest in response to Kurt sucking the other male's tongue into his mouth. Kurt thread his hand into Blaine's perfectly gelled raven locks and pulled their searing lips apart, taking the opportunity to expose Blaine's taunt neck so he could suck and nip at it. Blaine whimpered when Kurt nipped at a particularly sensitive spot under his ear, his hips jerking up at the unexpected growl that came from the man seated in his lap. "Oh God…Kurt."_

 

_Kurt hummed against Blaine's Adam's apple, pulling away from the hicky he was determined to mark Blaine with. He moved towards Blaine's ear, to pant and whisper hotly. "Mmm…I think we should move this to the bedroom."_

 

_That's when Blaine's eyes snapped back into focus, the hazy cloud of arousal and alcohol seeming to dissipate. "N-No, Kurt wait. I-I need to—oh God, can you stop licking my neck for a second—tell you something."_

 

_Kurt nuzzled one of Blaine's loosened curls before moving back to Blaine's lips for a teasing kiss, his words ghosting over Blaine's reddening parted ones. "It's ok, Blaine. I want to. I want YOU."_

 

_Blaine choked on a breath, Kurt's words shooting straight to his groi—no, no! Clear head, Anderson! Focus. "I want you too, Kurt. So bad, you have no idea. But…but…"_

 

_When Kurt pulled back, Blaine was able to see his face more clearly and Blaine's breath caught in his throat. Kurt's eyes were so dark, just full of pure want and pure lust. His face flushed pink and his hair was tousled carelessly, he looked so unabashed…Blaine was doomed, wasn't he? Kurt smirked seductively, doing a quick gyration of his hips over Blaine's straining slacks just to hear another desperate noise falling from those sinfully plumped lips. "Then how bout you show me just how bad you want me? Come on, Blaine. Tell me, tell me all the things you want to do to me."_

 

_Blaine groaned, his reluctance damn near dissipating altogether. With the last ounce of will power he had in his system, Blaine quickly pushed Kurt back to his side of the couch. "I can't! Not until you hear me out first."_

 

_Kurt plopped on the cushion with a dissatisfied huff, "What, Blaine? What! What could possibly be so important that it couldn't wait until we were in a post-sex cuddle?"_

 

" _You…I…we were going to have sex? Really?" The adorably hopeful edge in Blaine's voice caused Kurt's agitation to abate slightly, but only slightly._

 

" _Well, now I'm not so sure. You basically chucking me off your lap doesn't exactly boast one's ego, ya know." Kurt finished off embarrassed, turning away and nervously rubbing his hands up and down the white skinny jeans covering his thighs._

 

_Blaine felt like a complete and total idiot. The last thing he wanted to do was make Kurt feel like he rejected him. Hell no, far from it. "I'm sorry. I'm just…I need to tell you something, before we go any further. And I…I just don't know how you'll react."_

 

_This got Kurt's attention, "Okay, then tell me."_

 

" _It's…It's not that easy."_

 

" _Come on, it can't be that bad…it's not bad, is it?"_

 

" _Uh…that all depends?"_

 

" _Blaine, seriously, you're starting to worry me here."_

 

_Blaine took a deep breath, turning to face Kurt fully and grab his hand. "Okay, okay. Here it goes. Look, Kurt. I like you, a lot. More than I expected to like you."_

 

_Kurt furrowed his brows, "I like you too, Blaine. But, why do I feel like you're about to tell me you're married or engaged or…?"_

 

_Blaine let out a dry chuckle, "No, no, nothing like that. There's just something I need to tell you…about me…and about my life."_

 

" _Well then, just say it."_

 

" _I'minthearmy."_

 

_A beat of silence occurred between them, Kurt trying to wrap his head around the words Blaine had spoken. He had to have misheard him, right? "W-What?"_

 

" _Soldier, I'm a soldier…in the army."_

 

" _Like…the U.S. Army?"_

 

" _Yes, and I'm being deployed. My platoon's shipping out soon…well, flying out."_

_Kurt just stared at Blaine, eyes wide in shock._

 

_Blaine gripped Kurt's hand tighter, somehow hoping that the tighter he squeezed the better he could explain himself. "I know I should have told you sooner. I just didn't think this, you and me, would be something long term. You're just…you're just so YOU, so different, and unique. All you have to do is walk into a room and you freaking own it. Your voice is this distinctive combination of lyrical and bluntness. When we talk, it's endless, and interesting, and amazing. Then, well, look at you. You're like…crazy attractive! Can you really blame me for wanting to get to know you better? Only to find out that you're totally smart and super funny to boot? "_

_Kurt slowly pried his hand away from Blaine's tightening hold, cradling it to his chest. He looked at Blaine with this look of incredulousness and, hurt maybe?_

 

" _I'm so…so sorry. All week I was trying to figure out the right way to tell you but, I just…I couldn't. I didn't want to put that kind of pressure on you, that kind of time limit. I didn't want a minute of awkwardness between us, that's not how I wanted to share our time together. It was just me being selfish, and me being unfair to you, and—"_

 

_Blaine's rant was cut off as Kurt waved his hand in a shushing manner. "All week…all week? You knew you had to leave ALL WEEK?"_

 

"… _yes."_

 

" _And you couldn't find the courtesy—no—the decency to tell me?"_

 

" _I…"_

 

" _When do you leave?"_

 

_Blaine swallowed thickly, "Tuesday."_

 

_Kurt stood up abruptly and walked over towards one of the shelves mounted to his living room wall, an unexplainable pain in his chest making Kurt feel like he was about to burst at the seams. Suddenly though, for some unknown reason, he let out a wet chuckle and shook his head. "I feel like being mad at you would make me a terrible person. You're going off to make the world a better place, to serve and protect, and all that jazz. You're putting your life at risk, and yet all I can think about is how…is how I thought you were going to ask if we could be exclusive…to be…together." Kurt finished off lamely, quietly._

 

_Blaine bit the inside of his cheek, "You have every right to be upset with me. And…as much as I would adore the chance to have you as my boyfriend, asking you to make that kind of commitment without the proper amount of time to think it through just seems unfair to you. At this point, I just know that I'd be happy to have whatever you'd be willing to give me." Blaine stood up from his spot on the couch and walked over to Kurt, hesitantly placing his hands on Kurt's waist. Gingerly, he turned Kurt around to face him, his heart breaking at the sight of his normally composed diva looking so lost and distraught._

 

" _How long?"_

 

" _How long, what?"_

 

" _How long will you be…gone?"_

 

" _A year."_

 

_Tears were beginning to sting at the corners of Kurt's eyes, but he refused to let them fall in Blaine's presence. "I think you should go. I-I NEED you to go."_

 

_Blaine looked as if he had been slapped across the face. "Kurt, please don't ask me to leave. Not like this."_

 

_Kurt sniffed, "Blaine, I don't know exactly what you want from me. For sure, I can tell you that whatever you want me to be for you is too much. I'm not that strong a person."_

 

" _I told you I wouldn't ask for more than you'd be willing to give, but yes. Yes, you are strong enough. You're Kurt Hummel, you can do anything. I've been around you long enough to figure out that much." Blaine said, a determined look on his face._

 

" _Please, I can't do this right now."_

 

" _Kurt…"_

 

" _Get out!"_

 

_Blaine closed his eyes and took a deep breath through his nose. He didn't know what to do. As much as he wanted to just wrap Kurt up in his arms to hold him and tell him that everything was going to be okay, he knew he couldn't. Not right now. He had to respect what Kurt wanted, even if it pained him to do so. Thus, with a crestfallen look, and heaviness in his stomach, Blaine gathered up his things and walked towards the door. Only taking a moment to pause with his hand on the doorknob to say, "We fly out of JKF Airport at noon. Just in case you wanted to, well, just in case you wanted to know." Kurt wrapped his arms around himself and hugged his frame tightly, listening for the click of the door that signaled Blaine's departure. "Good-Goodbye…Kurt."_

 

* * *

 

"Blaine, don't go!"

 

Kurt shot up in his bed then, breathing heavy. His hair was slick with sweat, and his throat felt raw. How long had he been screaming?

 

"Kurt! Honey, are you alright?"

 

The exhausted boy looked up at the sound of the other person's voice. "Carole." Relieve immediately washed over him, the presence of his stepmother calming the anxiety coursing through Kurt's weak body.

 

Carole walked over to Kurt's hospital bed and put a hand over his clammy forehead. "You're sweating, and you feel a bit warm. Are you feeling feverish?"

 

Kurt shook his head, "No, it was probably just the nightmare I had."

 

"Nightmare?"

 

Kurt sighed, settling back into his pillows and letting Finn's mother brush his damp hair out of his face. "Not a nightmare, well, not really. I was just…remembering."

 

Carole sat down on the bed with Kurt, giving him one of her sympathetic smiles. "I guess that's good. Remembering things is good, even if its one of your not so pleasant ones." She pursed her lips together for a moment, contemplating her next statement. "If you don't mind me asking, what were you remembering?"

 

A slight smile appeared across Kurt's still sleepy features, restfulness not coming very easy to the countertenor these days. "Blaine."

 

Wariness seemed to flicker in Carole's eyes, right before it shifted back to her empathetic mom face. She chuckled quickly, "A nightmare about Blaine? Sorry dear, but I find that very hard to picture. You two always seemed to be such a strong couple. Especially you, strong like your mother Burt always says."

 

Kurt let out a dry laugh, "The things you say sometimes…they're just timed so perfectly." When Carole looked confused for a moment, a confused look that mirrored Finn's own look of perplexity when something was lost on him, Kurt decided to clarify. "If I ever gave anyone the impression that I'm strong, it's only because of Blaine. I don't know what it is about him. The way he holds me, looks at me. He's the one that makes everything okay for me. He's…he's my Blaine." Kurt said lovingly, a lighter feeling coursing through him at the thought of Blaine pulling him to his chest and holding him close.

 

"You miss him."

 

Kurt's lips trembled, "So much. I don't…I don't think I can do this without him. I'm—I'm scared. Scared of what might happen…i-i-if Blaine isn't here, by my side. He's the one that makes everything okay. It's his job…he-he's Blaine. It's what he does." Moisture prickled at the corners of Kurt's glasz eyes, his chest contracting with the hiccupping cries he was trying to keep at bay, and his nose making little sniffle sounds as it tried to reel in his tears.

 

"Oh honey, everything's going to be okay." Carole opened her arms for Kurt, steadying herself when the man, looking more like a boy in her arms, flung his upper body into her waiting embrace. She shushed him, petting his hair and rubbing his back as he sought comfort from the woman who has loved him like her own son since he was a teenager.

"I can't…I won't have the surgery without him here."

 

"Kurt, sweetheart…"

 

"No!" Kurt pulled back suddenly, stubbornness evident on his face. "Please, don't talk me out of this. When Quinn comes in to talk about my surgery, I'm going to tell her so. Blaine is on his way home. I know he'd want to be here for this."

 

Carole sighed, gently placing Kurt back against the pillows. "You have told her, Kurt. More than once."

 

Kurt's eyes were wide. "What?"

 

"Honey, what's the last thing you remember before falling asleep?"

 

"Earlier today…w-when Quinn gave me the sticky notes!" Kurt said, sounding excited at being able to remember that much.

 

Carole's face grew somber, "That was a couple of days ago."

 

"N-No…it was this morning. I remember!"

 

She shook her head, "I gave you lunch right after that, dear. You were smiling and telling me about the first time you met Blaine. You were so happy, and excited about him coming home. You even showed me his letter and apologized for that little line of inappropriateness he put in it."

 

Kurt shook his head, running his hand through his wet hair and gripping it. "No…no, no, no, no, no."

 

When Carole tried to pry his fingers from his hair, Kurt shoved her hands away. She could see his hands gripping his hair tighter, tugging on it harshly, threatening to rip his chestnut hair out. "Kurt, stop it. You're going to hurt yourself." She placed her hands over his, whispering comfortingly into his ear. When she saw that it didn't have the effect she wanted, she pleaded with him. "Please, Kurtie." His father's nickname name slipped from her lips. That's when Kurt went rigid, embarrassed puffy-red eyes peeking out through his arms to look up at her skittishly. "There we go. Come on, you take such good care of your hair. Don't go ripping it out."

 

Kurt let her lower his hands, his icy blue eyes containing a blank stare within them. It worried her. "Kurt, are you all right?"

 

He just kept staring at her, more like through her she thought.

 

Carole touched his cheek gently; he didn't even twitch. "Um…sweetie, your dad and Finn will be here. It's nearly time for them to close up the tire shop. Won't that be nice, hmm?"

 

His glasz eyes shifted up to look at her, still seeming hazy and a bit far-off. "Can he bring me a grande nonfat mocha?"

 

Carole chuckled at that, her eyes stinging at how childlike his voice sounded at that moment. "I think he can manage that." She pet his hair once more, kissing his forehead before making her way out of his room.

 

"Carole?"

 

"Hmm?"

 

"On second thought, I'll take a fat one."

 

Carole let out a laugh, shaking her head fondly at Kurt's request. "You got it."

 

Once she exited the room, Kurt grabbed some tissues from the bedside table, wiping down his face and arms. Wow, he really needed to see about taking a shower before his Dad and Finn arrived. He lay back against his pillows, more than anything wishing Blaine was already there. So he could spoon up behind Kurt, to kiss behind his ear and pet at his flanks until he could sleep peacefully again. Though, since Kurt would have to wait a little longer for that to happen, he turned on his side and hugged one of the pillows to his chest. He'd be all right. After all, Blaine has told him before that he was lucky, and lucky people will always be okay.

 

* * *

 

 

_Blaine looked out across the airport lobby, his back facing the airport's line to get through security. His two bags filled with his personal items had already made it to the other end of the line, his friend Jeremiah waiting with them on the other side. Blaine sighed then, looking down at his phone to see that it was almost time for them to be boarding. Kurt wasn't coming, was he?_

 

_The antsy solider looked back at his friend, who pointedly tapped the face of his watch, and then went back to scanning the airport one last time. He fiddled with the lapel of his army jacket, taking off the matching cap to ring it in his hands. Luckily, people had been kind enough to let him stand off to the side while he waited and continually scanned the airport. Giving the soldier sympathetic looks as they passed._

 

_He sighed after another moment, turning back to the buckets in front of him to place the items from his pockets in them, as well as his belt and shoes._

 

" _BLAINE!"_

 

_Blaine froze, hands rigid on his belt buckle. It couldn't._

 

" _Please! Wait!"_

 

_The soldier squeezed his eyes shut, cursing his mind for playing cruel jokes on him. It couldn't be anything more than his wishful thinking._

 

" _No, I don't have a ticket."_

 

" _I'm not trying to board a plane!"_

 

" _I just…I need…can you just let me find my friend? Please?"_

 

" _Homeland Security?! What the…what I even do?!"_

 

_The last high pitched sentenced that was screeched out was what made Blaine finally turn around. There he was, Kurt. Looking ruffled and haphazard in a wrinkled, white T-shirt and worn jeans. His hair hung over his forehead like he hadn't styled it today, and even from this distance away, he could see how tired Kurt looked. Though, even then, Blaine thought he looked beautiful._

 

_He left his things in the bin, ignoring the security personnel's protest at abandoning his items. Blaine made his way back through the people trying to go through the security line and get to Kurt, who was trying to receive information from one of the ladies behind the counter of the check-in bag area. "Kurt!"_

 

_The tired looking male turned towards his name, fresh tears gathering in his red-rimmed eyes at the sight of Blaine coming towards him. "Blaine!"_

 

_Kurt pushed himself forward, ignoring the other people in the airport lobby as he all but sprinted towards Blaine. He ignored every protest in his body that wanted to berate him for public displays of affection and just flung himself into Blaine's arms. He felt Blaine let out a whoosh of air as their chests collided, wrapping his arms tightly around the other's neck and even going as far as to wrap his legs around his soldier's waist. Burying his face into Blaine's neck and inhaling the incredibly warm, masculine scent that could only be described as pure BLAINE. He'd let them both collapse to the floor if only it meant he could keep the other man in his arms._

 

_Blaine quickly grabbed a steadying hold onto Kurt, letting out a relieved and breathy chuckle when the taller male's warm body was once again pressed against him. The incredibly public setting and gawking onlookers were the farthest things from both the men's minds. Though, seeing as they were LITERALLY in the middle of the lobby, Blaine carefully walked them back towards a little more secluded corner next to some empty waiting chairs. He leant his back against one of the walls and reached a hand up, coaxing Kurt's face away from the juncture of his shoulder so he could look the other in the eyes, his other hand still supporting Kurt's weight against his own solid frame. "You're here. You're really here."_

 

_Kurt sniffed pitifully, having given up on trying to keep moisture from tracking down his cheeks. "I didn't think I'd make it."_

 

_Blaine's lips quirked up at the corners, "Well, you did. And I'm…really happy about that."_

 

_For a moment, both men just stared at each other. Kurt taking in Blaine's crisp clean-cut appearance, pressed uniform, freshly shaven face, curls trimmed shorter and closer to his scalp. It made him feel self-conscious about his own rolled-out-of-bed disarray, but Kurt couldn't see any disgust or scrutiny in Blaine's eyes, and those nonjudgmental—could also be described as elated—hazel eyes are what broke the last of Kurt's reserves. "I'm sorry." He choked out wetly. "I'm so…so sorry, Blaine. I should have never kicked you out of my apartment. That was so wrong, and petty. I completely overreacted, and I should have understood how hard it must be for you. You tried to tell me, I know now there wasn't really a best time to do it." Kurt was rambling, tears slipping down his face as he kept apologizing to Blaine over and over again._

 

_Blaine wiped his thumb across one of Kurt's cheeks, cradling the paler male's face as he leant into the warm touch, effectively shushing the constant stream of apologies spilling from his lips. "No, Kurt. You have nothing to apologize for."_

 

" _But I do! You've been so…so perfect. Amazing to me even, and all I could do was throw it back in your face."_

 

" _Kurt…" Blaine chocked out, feeling his own rush of emotion bubble up in him._

 

" _Let me finish." He stressed, glossy blue eyes pleading. "I was mad you, I really was. So mad that I didn't answer any of your phone calls or texts or your emails, and really Blaine, who emails anymore?"_

 

_Blaine chuckled wetly, "My bad."_

 

" _Hush, I'm not done talking."_

 

_Blaine bit back a smile, making the motion of 'zipping his lips' as Kurt glared at the action. Though, when his eyes lost its heat, Blaine knew Kurt was being serious again. "I just…couldn't let the last thing I say to you be…'get out,' of all things. Especially not if…" His lower lip trembled again. "What if that was the last thing I EVER said to you? Just thinking about it kept me up all hours of the night. Rachel said I looked like someone had set fire to my designer wardrobe." Blaine chuckled at that part, sniffing afterwards to keep his own tears at bay. "Last night was the worst, I barely slept anything. At six this morning I finally got some semblance of a nap, but it's like I blinked, a-a-and it was already ten. You told me you f-fly out at noon. That's when…when it really hi-hit me."_

 

_Blaine couldn't keep the next sentence from leaving his lips, "What do you mean?"_

 

_Kurt hiccupped, his voice trembling as it whispered, "That you could die…you could really die, and I might never see you again." That thought alone caused Kurt to squeeze his limbs tighter around Blaine, once again burying his face in the soldier's neck. The paler boy just wanting to FEEL him, to be certain that Blaine was really there._

 

_Blaine gripped Kurt's shaking body tighter, hugging the other's back just as fiercely. "Oh Kurt…"_

 

" _Sergeant Anderson?"_

 

_Both men looked over Kurt's shoulder, seeing an airport security guard holding a bucket of Blaine's things. "Sorry to…interrupt, but you're not allowed to leave your personal items unattended." The older gentleman eyed the two of them, brows furrowed as he tried to comprehend what was occurring between the two young men._

 

_Kurt blushed, quickly realizing that, yes, he was indeed in a public place with his arms and legs clung to Blaine's body like some cuddle-whoring octopus. He wriggled uncomfortable, clearing his throat as he extracted his limbs from around the shorter man._

 

_While Kurt was detaching himself from Blaine, the curly haired boy had to stifle a pout. Dammit, he liked cuddly Kurt. At the gentleman's words, Blaine could only nod, taking his offered things from the bin. "I apologize, sir. I didn't…I shouldn't have…"_

 

_The guard waved his hand dismissively, "Don't worry about it, son. Just don't let it happen again. Also, thank you for all that you do." He stuck out his hand, shaking Blaine's curtly, even if Blaine was still kind of in a daze. "The sacrifices you have to make, the loved ones you have to leave behind. Can't be easy." He let go of Blaine's hand and glanced at Kurt, "And thank you for allowing the one you love defend us." Then he nodded at both them respectfully, "Good day, boys." With that, he walked back over to his station, leaving a stunned Kurt and Blaine staring after him._

 

_Both of the boys blushed fiercely, the 'we're not together' not quite making the journey up their throats. Kurt was the first to break the silence, a light giggle making his shoulders shake. "So…Sergeant Anderson?"_

 

_Blaine looked embarrassed, rubbing the back of his neck with one hand as he looked at the ground. "Huh…uh…yeah. I guess."_

 

_Kurt grinned fondly, rubbing at his wet cheek with the back of his hand. He let out a breathy laugh, "About…what the guard thought…"_

 

" _Oh no, Kurt. This…this is a lot for anyone. I would never want you to feel obligated or…"_

 

_Kurt placed a gentle finger over Blaine's lips. "Are you ever going to let me finish talking?" When Blaine mumbled out a 'sorry,' Kurt shook his head affectionately. "And stop apologizing. I think there's been too much of that happening over the last few days anyways. We. Are. Oh-kay." Blaine nodded dumbly, Kurt's finger seeming to burn against his lips pleasantly. "And…I honestly don't know what to tell you."_

 

_Blaine reached for Kurt's hand, removing it from his lips and holding it in his warm, firm hands. "That's okay. I'm at a loss myself."_

 

_Kurt shivered at how gingerly his hand was cradled, almost reverently. The touch of the fingertips really was something to get excited about. "I just…I know I'm not ready to say goodbye to you."_

 

" _Same here." He looked at Kurt's pale hand in between his two tanned hands. "Then, will you do something for me?" He brought the porcelain hand to his lips, kissing each knuckle as he spoke. "Will you write to me?"_

 

_Kurt's breath caught, Blaine's lips making his tummy flip uncontrollably. "Uhuh."_

 

_Blaine smiled then, a mischievous one that Kurt still hadn't become all that accustomed to yet. "Well…" He looped a finger through one of Kurt's belt loops, pulling the surprised boy in close. The other hand grabbed the back of Kurt's head, yanking the taller boy down to meet Blaine's lips in a desperate kiss. Kurt gasped, mouth parted and pliant as Blaine's lips moved against his quickly. When he pulled back, Kurt's face was flushed. Cheeks pink and lips wet. Blaine licked his lips in response, "Mmm…kiss for good luck."_

 

_Kurt couldn't respond, any snarky response having been stifled by Blaine's lips._

 

" _Always gotta get a little luck where I can, 'cause lucky people will always be okay." With that, Blaine's form came to attention. He raised his right hand to his forehead in a salute to Kurt, a cheeky wink following it. "And boy, do I feel lucky."_

 

_Kurt huffed, placing his hands over his face as Blaine jogged back towards the security line. Really, WHAT was he going to do about that man?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Subscribe maybe? Leave a comment, kudos? Pretty please? :)


	3. Sargeant McQueen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A phone call, a bear, and their first reunion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! An update! Just want to say thank you for all your splendid comment and awesome response to the story.
> 
> Mostly filler with some fluffy flashbacks. Next chapter will be more of the present moving forward...most likely.
> 
> Anyways! Hope you guys enjoy it!
> 
> Happy Reading!
> 
> No beta. All mistakes are my own.
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing, nothing, nothing. No profit made etc. See Chapter 1 for more elaborate disclaimer.

(Chapter 3)

 

**_*BUZZ BUZZ_ ** _*_

 

**_*BUZZ BUZZ_ ** _*_

 

**_*BUZZ BUZZ_ ** _*_

 

_…_

 

**_*BUZZ BUZZ_ ** _*_

 

_Kurt threw his pillow off his head and grabbed his constantly vibrating phone. It was three in the freaking morning, who the hell calls this early? Or late...whatever the heck kind of time it was!_

 

**_Unknown_ **

_Seriously?_

 

_Kurt's eye twitched when it vibrated again. This better be important. "Hello?" He answered sharply._

 

_There was a pause on the other end, then he heard someone exhale, long and drawn out. "Kurt…"_

 

_The sleepy boy's whole world stopped, his hand gripping his iPhone tighter as his breath hitched. "Blaine?"_

 

_He laughed on the other end, his honey-smooth voice filling Kurt's ears. "Yeah, it's me."_

 

_"Oh my Gosh." He voice started to quiver, all the pent up emotion he'd been bottling up inside that had anything to do with Blaine started rushing out in overwhelming waves. "You're okay. I can hear your voice, and you're all right. You have no idea how worried I've been." Kurt's body started shaking, not hearing Blaine's voice for almost a year had driven him crazy. He got the occasional letter from Blaine, Kurt realizing that he had more time to write than Blaine must have, and he understood. He always understood. "Is everything all right? You're not hurt or anything, are you? Please, please tell me you're okay."_

 

_"Hey, hey, calm down. I'm ok. Everything…everything is perfect now." Blaine soothed, the crackling connection ripping at Kurt's heart. It reminded him how far away Blaine really was._

 

_Kurt sniffed, trying to bring himself under control. "Letters can only do so much, you know? Actually hearing you, talking to you," Kurt swallowed thickly. "Proves you're alive."_

 

_Another crackle, some shuffling, Kurt was fairly certain he heard a metal door close. "I got all your letters. Well, sometimes I get three at a time. Last week I got five though." Kurt blushed; he'd gotten a bit frantic. "I read every single one of them, whenever I get the chance, sometimes more than once. I-I try to write back when I can, but it's so difficult with everything going on. Kurt, I'm so sorry." Blaine's voice cracked, it was heartbreaking to hear Blaine's voice strain like that. "I miss you like crazy, baby."_

 

_Kurt closed his eyes, letting that warm feeling settle in his chest at the slip of endearment. "Blaine, honey, I miss you so much. You have no idea. It-It's not the same without you. Even without you near me, you've become like this weird permanency in my life." He ran a hand through his messy bed hair. "And don't you dare apologize to me, Blaine Anderson. You have nothing to apologize for. I only write so much, because no matter what I'm doing, or what happens to me, I always want to tell you about it. Maybe even a little part of me hopes that the letters take your mind off things, even if it's only for a few minutes."_

 

_Blaine chuckles wetly, "They do. Your letters are the things that keep me going. They even make me smile, and over here that's not an easy feat. Though, that aromatherapy body works care package was heaven in a basket. I can't thank you enough."_

 

_"Don't even worry about it. The issue of Vogue I slipped in there, I'd already read anyways." Kurt opened his eyes, staring across the moonlit room at his vanity mirror, where all of Sergeant Anderson's letters were taped around the frame like a literary halo. "Just come back in one piece okay? I just want you back safe, and healthy, and…and with me."_

 

_"All right, ten more weeks. Ten more weeks, and then I'm back. Think you can wait that long?"_

 

_Kurt let out a dry laugh, "I don't have much of a choice, do I?" He rubbed at the sleep in his eyes, sniffling quietly. "It just…gets hard sometimes. I didn't think it was possible for me to want…to NEED someone this much." Kurt shook his head. How did he ever manage to fall for someone while they were thousands of miles away? "I feel so…so…"_

 

_"…empty?" Blaine supplied._

 

_"Yeah…that's one way of putting it."_

 

_Kurt heard Blaine shuffle around a bit more, a chair scraping in the background. "I think I can make you feel better, make it a bit easier…if you'd let me."_

 

_"Make me feel better? Blaine, I'll be all right. It's you I'm worried about. You're the one out there. You're the one risking your life. You're…"_

 

_"Kurt, shut up." Blaine chuckled out._

 

_Kurt pursed his lips into a thin line. Well, all right then._

 

_"Let's try this again. Kurt, for once, I'm going to make you feel better. And you're going to let me. Got it?"_

 

_An affectionate smile crossed his face, "…yes, sir."_

 

_"Are you at home? Were you sleeping?"_

 

_Kurt nodded, "Yeah."_

 

_"Can you lie down for me?"_

 

_He did so, snuggling under the covers and resting his head on his pillow. "Done."_

 

_"Comfortable?"_

 

_"Lying in bed with you talking to me? It's the most comfortable I've felt in months."_

 

_"Good, good." Blaine seemed to be saying it to himself rather than to Kurt._

 

_There was another beat of silence, but Kurt was willing to wait. He didn't know what Blaine had planned to ease the heaviness in his heart._

 

_Though he sure wasn't expecting what happened next._

 

**_Kurt, I hear you callin'_ **

**_But I can't come home right now_ **

**_Me and the boys are playin'_ **

**_And we just can't find the sound_ **

 

_Kurt put a hand over his mouth, breaths beginning to come out in shaky hitches. This perfect guy, perfect man, was NOT serenading him over the phone from half a world away. He just was not._

 

**_Just a few more hours_ **

**_And I'll be right home to you_ **

**_I think I hear them callin'_ **

**_Oh, Kurt, what can I do?_ **

**_Kurt, what can I do?_ **

 

_But he was. He really was._

 

_Kurt couldn't help himself when he closed his eyes, listening to the sweet voice as it caressed his ears._

 

**_You say you feel so empty_ **

**_That our house just ain't a home_ **

**_And I'm always somewhere else_ **

**_And you're always there alone_ **

 

_Kurt whimpered, a lone tear escaping from between one of his tightly shut eyelids. The only tear he allowed himself to shed that night._

 

**_Just a few more hours_ **

**_And I'll be right home to you_ **

**_I think I hear them callin'_ **

**_Oh, Kurt, what can I do?_ **

**_Kurt, what can I do?_ **

 

_He hugged his knees to his chest and curled up on his side. Even though this made Kurt want to cry, it was oddly just what he needed. It made him feel closer to Blaine._

 

**_Kurt, I know you're lonely_ **

**_And I hope you'll be all right_ **

**_'Cause me and the boys will be playin'_ **

**_All night_ **

 

_Closer to this soldier._

 

**_All night_ **

 

_HIS soldier._

 

_"Sweet dreams, Kurt."_

 

_Kurt's eyes were heavier now, his phone already threatening to slip from his grip as he straddled the line of consciousness. Blaine's soothing voice was already lulling him back to sleep. The last thing he heard were these three words._

 

_"I love you."_

 

* * *

 

 

As Kurt slowly came back to consciousness, he realized that his entire body felt pleasantly warm. His pillow was somehow softer, and warmer. It was a nice way to wake up, especially since the past few attempts at sleep had been less than restful. No matter how much Kurt slept, he always felt as if he'd been awake for days at a time. So this, this was refreshing. With the comforting warmth surrounding him, and the memory of Blaine's first declaration of love to him, Kurt couldn't help but smile. The first one he'd cracked in days.

 

Then it shifted, the warm weight shifted in his arms. Now, if that hadn't been enough to freak out a hazy feeling Kurt, then what the weight proceeded to do next certainly did. It whined. Just to reiterate, because Kurt's mind was seriously not processing this right now, it WHINED.

 

Kurt's eyes snapped open. The first thing he was greeted with, was a huge, fuzzy, black head. It was massive. There were pointed ears perked up, a black snout twitching as it sniffed, and…oh sweet cheesus, dark eyes, big dark eyes, open and looking directly at Kurt. Mother of God, it's a bear. It's a fucking bear.

 

***LICK** *

 

And that did it.

 

That surely did it.

 

Kurt was screaming.

 

"Ahhhhh!" The animal barked when the human it had been sleeping with screamed in its ears. The poor animal flattening them and watched in confused concern as the human fell off the bed. He started to bark frantically, his human was in distress!

 

Wait, what? Bark? Bears don't bark.

 

Kurt scrambled backwards on the floor, and he put his hands up to protect his face, the dog still barked loudly.

 

"Hey! Queen, that's enough! Down boy, quiet. You're scaring Kurt." The dog whined again, the rustling of the bed sheets alerting Kurt that the dog possibly settled down on the hospital bed. "Kurt?"

 

Still a bit fearful, Kurt began to lower his arms. Looking up hesitantly, "F-Finn?"

 

Finn smiled then, kneeling down on the floor where Kurt was huddled in a ball. "Sup bro?"

 

Kurt lowered his hands completely now, his gaze shifting from the beast to his brother. "That's a dog."

 

"Uhuh."

 

"Finn, that's a dog."

 

"Uh, yeah?"

 

"Why is there a dog in my room!?" Kurt shouted. The dog barked at the loud voice, his head lowering to settle on its paws.

 

"Um…because he misses his favorite person?" Finn questioned, not entirely sure of his answers anymore.

 

Kurt laughed, a dry one that was in all honestly not that humorous. "Finn, this is a hospital. What makes you think bringing your filthy animal in here would be anything other than a bad idea?"

 

Finn raised an eyebrow at him, turning back to the dog and patting the ground. "Here, Queen. Come on, boy." The dog, 'Queen,' he supposed, picked his head up suddenly. His tail waggled happily before he hopped down and started to approach Kurt.

 

Kurt whimpered and moved further back towards the wall. "F-F-Finn, g-get it away from m-me."

 

Finn sighed, grabbing the dog by the collar before it could go any further. It's nails scratched against the linoleum floor as it tried to get closer to Kurt, almost huffing in frustration as its efforts were deterred. "Uh…Kurt? Sargent McQueen is your dog."

 

What?

 

Kurt stared at Finn, and then looked over at where Queen was staring at him eagerly. The dog was fluffy, white underbelly with black patches of fur, and a curled tail. Okay, not a bear. A dog, but still…it was freaking huge. He laughed suddenly, "Why is it so big? If I were to have ever gotten a dog, it would be one of those tiny purse ones someone could punt over a fence."

 

Finn scratched the back of his head, "You told me what it was once, but all I can remember is that it's the type of dog from that Hachi movie that made you cry. Alpine, Acai, A pita, or whatever."

 

Something sparked in Kurt's brain for a moment, "Akita?"

 

"Yeah, that's it!" Queen started tugging on his collar again, trying to get to Kurt once more. Looking at Kurt with those big puppy brownish eyes. "You have to remember him. You and Blaine fought over this little guy's name for weeks. Then you just sort of…combined them. Though you always insist I just call him Queen." Kurt stared into the dog's eyes, willing some spark of recognition to come to him.

 

Queen whined and settled on his belly, worming forward cautiously as he sensed his owner's anxiety. When a cold nose nudged at his knee, Kurt hesitantly held out his hand. Still, he remembered nothing. The dog bumped against his outstretched hand, licking it and nuzzling it to signal his friendliness. Kurt couldn't help but smile, scratching behind the dog's ears and giggling when Queen let out a happy snuffle. "Sorry, boy. I-I wish I remembered you. I really do. You seem…sweet, burly and possibly ridden with mitochondrial diseases, but still sweet."

 

The Akita happily licked at Kurt's face, sniffing and nuzzling him in an ecstatic greeting. Finn let out a breath of relief, "Come on. Let me help you up."

 

Kurt nodded, allowing Finn to help him stand so he could shuffle back into his hospital bed. Queen followed right after him, settling at the end of the bed between Kurt's calves and resting it's massive head on Kurt's thigh. He stared out of Kurt's see-through hospital sliding door, watching as the people passed. "How in the world did you get him in here in the first place?"

 

Finn shrugged as he sat down in the chair beside Kurt's bed, "I just brought him in wearing this back-packy thing, told them he was a service dog. Was good enough for them."

 

Kurt scratched behind Queen's ears as he talked, "Well, IS he a service dog?"

 

Finn shrugged, "Uh…can't dogs sense when people have seizures and stuff? Figured that counted as a service of some sort."

 

Kurt snorted at his stepbrother, "Yeah…okay."

 

"Oh! Almost forgot." Finn reached beside his chair and revealed as tray of coffee.

 

Kurt stared at them, "Is…one mine?"

 

"They're all yours. That one is a Grande Nonfat Mocha. This is a Grande Regular Mocha. This cup is filled with soymilk, and that cup has extra mocha powder. Just in case the drinks aren't perfect, you or I could…I don't know, try and figure out how to make it taste better?"

 

"Huh?"

 

Finn looked a little worried, "Crap, did you not want coffee anymore? I could get you something else. Are you hungry? Do you want some ice chips?"

 

Kurt frowned, "Finn…"

 

He hung his head low and put down the tray, "You're kicking me out again, aren't you?"

 

Kurt furrowed his brows, why was Finn acting this way? "Jeez, how horrible a person am I? Did I really throw you out before?"

 

Finn bit his lip, but nodded, not sure which Kurt he was talking to. 'Kurt' Kurt, or 'Mood-Swingy' Kurt. "Yeah. You also said I looked like the Pillsbury Dough-Boy's retarded half-brother. Then you threw a bedpan at my head. Thankfully it was empty."

 

Kurt started to choke, whether he was chocking on a laugh or a sob, he wasn't really sure. "Please tell me you're just trying to make me laugh with one of you're TERRIBLE jokes." When Finn just shrugged, Kurt leaned his head back against his pillow. Queen lifted his head up and whimpered at Kurt, not liking his owner's sad tone. "I'm sorry, Finn. I don't know why I would act so terrible. That…doesn't even sound like me."

 

"You're going through a rough time, with the tumor and all. I understand. We all just want you to be comfortable. You don't need any stress; at least, that's what Quinn said. It's okay to yell at me, I can take it."

 

Kurt shook his head. He didn't even know if he had the energy to full-on cry at this point anymore. "I have insulted my brother. I can't remember my own dog. I don't know when my husband is gonna be home. I have a tumor that screws with me six ways from Sunday. How can this possibly get any worse?"

 

"Did I mention there's a couple here to see you?"

 

Rolling his eyes—like seriously, hadn't Finn ever heard of a rhetorical question?—he looked towards the glass doors and froze, "What are they doing here?" There were two people conversing with Carole and his father. The woman looking down at the ground and covering her mouth while the man nodded his head, looking at something far off as he listened to whatever his parents must have been explaining.

 

Finn looked over Kurt's shoulder and tilted his head, averting his eyes when he saw who it was. "Those two?" Kurt nodded. "Nope! No clue. I don't know who they are. Do you?"

 

"Yeah." Kurt swallowed, "That's Mr. and Mrs. Anderson. Blaine's parents." Eyes widening when he watched Carole, his dad, and the Andersons start walking towards his room. No. He couldn't handle them, not then and certainly not now. No, no, no, no.

 

He turned on his side abruptly, effectively flipping Queen off of him and hearing the dog yelp to the floor in surprise. Kurt held the pillow to his ears and started singing his 'la la la la' song. Ignoring Finn as he shook him to try and get his attention. His happy place, all Kurt needed was his happy place. With Blaine, all he needed was Blaine.

 

La…La…La.

 

* * *

 

_Kurt wrung his hands in anticipation, watching as soldier after soldier exited the terminal and embraced their loved ones. Soldiers with kids cried as they picked their children up, commenting on how big they've grown since they last held them. Lovers kissed and laughed because their spouse has come home safe and sound. Parents embraced their soldiers' safe arrival back. He smiled at them all, wanting nothing more than to see HIS soldier as well._

 

_He looked back over the crowd of balloons and posters, his own board torn at the top slightly from how much he'd been fidgeting. Kurt wanted to stomp his way into the plane and find Blaine himself he was getting so impatient, but then…he saw him._

 

 

_The tired, and slightly frantic, looking Blaine walked into the lobby with the rest of the soldiers. His bags slung over his back and shoulders. Blaine looked all around him, Kurt smiling to himself at how okay he looked. How ALIVE he looked. Kurt held up his sign, waiting for Blaine to see it over the crowd of happy people._

**_Sgt. Anderson!_ **

**_Home is right here!_ **

**|**

**|**

**|**

**\/**

_The red arrow pointed down to himself as Kurt held the sign over his head. Watching Blaine's face turn from searching, to breathtakingly happy, it was almost worth the year without him. Almost. Blaine made his way over. Even taking the time to excuse himself as he accidently bumped into other soldiers or a member of their families. As Blaine got closer and closer, tears started to stream down Kurt's cheeks. He loved this man so freaking much._

 

_Blaine smiled wildly, stopping in front of Kurt and dropping his bags. "Hi."_

 

_Kurt lowered his arms, the poster sitting between them. "Hey soldier." He threw his arms around Blaine without warning, crushing the shorter man to him as he hugged Kurt back. "Thank you for my song." Kurt whispered. The pale boy hid his face in Blaine's lapel, inhaling that crisp scent once again. He could also smell dirt and sweat, but he really couldn't give a damn. Blaine was in his arms, warm, inviting, healthy. That's all that mattered. "And welcome home."_

 

_Blaine squeezed Kurt once more before pulling back and looking at the paler male's face, cupping his cheek with a calloused hand. "Good to be home."_

 

_When Blaine wiped at Kurt's wet cheeks with his thumbs, Kurt couldn't hold back any longer. The affectionate gesture causing him to grip at the sergeant’s collar and crush Blaine's mouth to his own. The soldier was surprised, for sure, but he was in no way disappointed. He put one hand on Kurt's waist and the other on the small of his back. He pressed their bodies together, kissing and damn near making out in the middle of the lobby. No one batted an eye. Well, no more than was to be expected, but no one said a thing. There was merely the shock at finding out that their Sergeant had finally found someone to return to. It was his first time being welcomed home by somebody, rather than nobody. That day, Kurt didn't ask why Blaine's parents weren't there. He would find that out during one of the days they could finally spend with each other._

 

_Kurt pulled back when he needed air, wrapping his arms around his…boyfriend? Whatever, that's a conversation for a later time. He rubbed his nose against Blaine's, smiling when Blaine blushed adorably at the action. "Please say you're at least here until Thanksgiving."_

 

_"No."_

 

_Glasz eyes grew wide, body going rigid in Blaine's arms at the thought of having to say goodbye to Blaine before then. "O-Oh?"_

 

_Blaine just smiled, "I'm staying for Thanksgiving…AND Christmas. If I'm lucky, possibly New Year's. But if I'm even luckier than that, who knows?"_

 

_Kurt covered his mouth with both his hands and squealed embarrassingly loud. "Holy crap! Are you serious? We can have Christmas together?"_

 

_"If you want me."_

 

_Kurt stared at him, a smile creeping up on his lips as he shook his head disbelievingly at Blaine's obliviousness. He reached for the buttons on his white jacket, popping each one open slowly and methodically. Blaine's eyebrows quirked up in curiosity, wondering if this was going to turn into something too wanky for an airport and better served for some alone time with one another._

 

_"GET IT, SARGE!"_

 

_Blaine was going to kill Jeremiah._

 

_Though, when the last button was popped, Blaine couldn't feel anything other than warm affection. His hazel eyes sparkled with brimming tears because of how amazing this beautiful man standing before him was. Underneath the jacket had been a white T-shirt, with four words pressed across it._

**_I_ **

**_Love_ **

**_You_ **

**_Too_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that was Kiss's 'Beth.' Just tweaked with replacing Beth's name with Kurt's. Be back when I can! Comment, Kudos, Subscribe? Would love to hear your thoughts. :)


	4. Make A Wish

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes wishes do come true, and sometimes parents just don't understand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New Glee spoilers have pissed me the fuck off, but whatever, I'll just leave an update here instead of throwing my computer out the window. T-T
> 
> *Warning* for possible triggers, that of which pertain to the many things that could go wrong with brain tumors. Just saying.
> 
> Song explanation:
> 
> Blaine (Bold/Italic)
> 
> (Blaine/Others) (Parentheses/Bold/Italic)
> 
> Hope you like it and it makes sense! Let me know if it doesn't!
> 
> Again, no beta. All mistakes are my own.
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing, nothing, nothing. No profit made etc. See Chapter 1 for more elaborate disclaimer.

(Chapter 4)

 

"…"

 

" _Kurt—"_

 

" _No, don't you dare try to defend her."_

 

" _I wasn't."_

 

" _Yes, you were. You spoke in your placating tone. And right now, I really don't want you making excuses for RACHEL." Kurt sneered, crossing his arms over his chest._

 

_Blaine sighed, "I still think spilling champagne on her dress was a bit much."_

 

" _She questioned our relationship! She was making fun of me. She was making fun of you…" Tears welled up in Kurt's eyes, ready to track down his face. He grabbed one of the napkins from their table, dabbing at his eyes before he cried in public._

 

_Blaine put his hand over Kurt's, giving it a light squeeze. "No, she wasn't. Your friend was just looking out for you. For heaven's sake Kurt, our story does sound a little surreal." Kurt looked away from him, observing the people walking around the army base. They were celebrating New Year's at Fort Hamilton, Blaine's assigned post. Well, after they graciously exited Rachel Berry's annual New Year's party. "I think…it really all boiled down to jealousy."_

 

_Kurt rolled his eyes, "I don't care. I'm just…so tired of people being against us. We haven't gotten any support. No one believes we know what we want."_

 

_When Kurt's voice cracked, Blaine pulled him in for a warm hug. "Oh baby, please don't cry. I can't stand to see you so upset."_

 

_Kurt sniffed into Blaine's lapel, "I can't help it. Thanksgiving we visited my family in Lima and they were so RUDE to you. Then we stay in New York to spend Christmas Eve with your family, and your grandfather…I can't believe he could call you such deplorable things."_

 

" _My grandfather has never been accepting of my sexuality. He's still stuck in his backwards thinking. I thought my grandmother and him weren't coming up for the holidays until Christmas Day. If I had known he was gonna be there, I would have NEVER subjected you to his…bigotry."_

 

" _And your father, he didn't even stand up for you. Your grandfather BLAMED your parents for who you are, like it was a bad thing." Kurt whispered, pulling back._

 

_Blaine sighed, "He's partially the reason I joined the army. Once I graduated high school, I had my mom and dad sign all the necessary documents so I could enlist. I was still seventeen at the time. They didn't stop me, though. My mother cried, but she said I was very brave and that she loved me. My father…he said I didn't have to join the army to straighten out. I could just date a girl and pretend when grandfather was around." He shook his head, disbelievingly. "I think, at first, I wanted to prove to him that I could make a difference, become someone important, maybe even one day he could finally be proud to have me as his grandson. It didn't work, obviously. He thinks my very presence defiles the integrity of the U.S. Army. When I told everyone about my promotion, he called me Sergeant Faggot."_

 

_Kurt felt his stomach churn; he really couldn't stand Blaine's grandfather. "He doesn't deserve to call you his grandson."_

 

_Blaine shrugged, "I don't care anymore. I don't do this for him."_

 

" _Then why do you do it?"_

 

_Blaine finally smiled, a small one, but a smile nonetheless. "Because I like helping people. I like being apart of something bigger than me. I like being depended on and depending on others. I'm worth something here. What I do means the people I care about and who care about me are safe." He smiled at Kurt, finding it adorable when he blushed at Blaine's words. "Less and less people are caring about 'gay.' We care about, Private, Captain, Sergeant, Sergeant Major, all that. They're my friends, my family, and my life."_

 

_Kurt nodded, in awe of how passionate Blaine sounded. "But your mom and dad…"_

 

" _I-I still love my family. Cooper, you met him at Rachel's party. I didn't even know they knew each other. He calls my grandfather out on his crap, and I love him for that. He accepts me, for me. Mom, she just doesn't want to rock the boat anymore than what I do I think. My dad…he doesn't know how to stand up to Albert Anderson. I know HE doesn't care that I'm gay, but I just hate going home to my granddad's disparagements. It's not just me; he criticizes everybody in our family. No one's good enough." Kurt rubbed Blaine's knuckles, noticing them clench tightly into fists. "Then there's me, the biggest disgrace to the family name."_

 

" _You know he's wrong, right? You are such an amazing human being. I am astounded at how anybody can possibly have anything but love for you." Kurt pleaded, looking up at Blaine with shining glasz eyes._

 

_Blaine uncurled his fists, deflating in exasperation. "Doesn't matter. I hardly go home on the holidays, or speak to them anymore; if I'm lucky I just visit Cooper. That is, if he isn't working in some big production."_

 

_Kurt sighed, "I wish they could see you like I do. Then they'd kick themselves for ever treating you like they were ashamed of you." He traced a gloved-finger down Blaine's profile. "You're perfect."_

 

_Blaine gave a half-smile, "If you say so. At least Thanksgiving with your family was better. They actually accept you."_

 

_Kurt huffed, "Oh, yeah. Questioning the legitimacy of my relationship, my reasons for being with you, wondering if I'm strong enough to even consider being apart of your army life. They treated me like a child, and like I hadn't already thought over every one of their concerns in my head."_

" _At least they were civil, and they're just worried. We knew each other for a month before I flew out. We spent a year apart, half a world apart. Then all of a sudden we're in love and you're introducing me as your boyfriend to your family? I think they're concerns were valid, Kurt."_

 

" _You give them too much credit. My father asked if I jumped headfirst into a fantasy. A FANTASY! He thinks I made up our whole relationship in my head. Having the gall to bring up some little crush I had in high school. And I did not fall in love 'all of a sudden.' I just fell in love…with a wondrous man, who happens to be a soldier."_

 

_Blaine gave Kurt a sympathetic smile. "What's this about a crush?"_

 

" _On Finn, my sophomore year." When Blaine raised an eyebrow, Kurt waved him off. "Don't ask. Oh and don't get me started on him. I can't believe he had the audacity to say that what I felt for you might have been out of pity, or obligation because of your job. He shouldn't be one to talk. I never questioned his love for Rachel when they were together, now they can't stand each other. But no matter how off and on their relationship was, I never patronized them about it…at least not to their face."_

 

" _The job is a blessing and a curse, not many people are cut out for it. They're all probably so hostile towards me because they realize how hard it would be on you, this life. You love a soldier, not some guy working a nine to five office job."_

 

_Kurt huffed, "I don't need a lecture. I know what could happen to you. I know the risks you take. I don't want to be reminded of that when you're still safe with me."_

 

" _That's my point. You know EVERYTHING about what this job entails for me, and yet, you're willing to let me into your heart. Despite the worry, the sacrifice, the heartache. That…blows me away." Blaine placed a hand over his chest._

 

_Kurt smiled slightly, blushing at Blaine's words. "You forgot the most important part. The part where I get to hear you say that you love me, and to me…that makes this worthwhile."_

 

_It was Blaine's turn to blush, "Kurt."_

 

" _And Finn, should not even be talking. He shot himself in the thigh when he was in the army."_

 

" _Oh my God, that was HIM?!"_

 

" _You know about that?"_

 

" _I heard through the gossip mill that some goof had accidentally shot his thigh with a rifle. I had no idea it was your stepbrother! I seriously wish I would have gotten his autograph or something."_

 

_Kurt laughed, "What? Why?"_

 

" _It's like…one of the top ten biggest Derp moments to have happened in the army. David, Wes, and Jeremiah are gonna be SO jealous that I've actually met Thigh-Guy!"_

 

" _You army guys are so weird."_

 

" _Babe…"_

 

_When Kurt turned, he wasn't prepared for the too happy smile on Blaine's face, or the look of absolute love shining in his hazel eyes. "Yes?" He croaked, breath hitching in his throat._

 

" _I love you."_

 

_Kurt smiled warmly. "I love you too…soldier boy." When Blaine leant forward to kiss him, he ran his hands up Blaine's army pants, shivering when Blaine was able to coax his mouth open. He pulled their mouths apart shyly then; ducking his head when he realized a couple of women started wolf whistling their way. "I take it you know them?"_

 

_Blaine licked his lips, savoring the taste of Kurt still lingering there. When he cocked his head to the side, he rolled his eyes at them before waving. "The blonde one would be Brittney, and the Latina would be Satan…I mean Santana. Santana is another Sergeant. We were in the Academy together. Any army gossip you want to know, go to them. They have the scoop on everyone and everything."_

 

" _They seem…accepting."_

 

" _Well, they're together. So I'd hope so. They're meddlesome, but in a meaningful way. Brittney said if I didn't find her an acceptable dolphin to cuddle with when Santana is deployed elsewhere, she was going to start fishing for some to go out with me."_

 

" _You're kidding…wait, dolphin?"_

 

" _Just go with it. Anyways, Santana being the evil enabler she is, signed me up for speed-dating once…it didn't end well."_

 

" _What happened?"_

 

" _They forgot to tell me about it."_

 

" _What?!"_

 

" _Yup, sat at a table while guy after guy sat down, talked to me non-stop for three minutes at a time, then got up and left. Needless to say I was thoroughly confused for about…an hour." Kurt covered his mouth, laughing behind his hand. "Sad part? I didn't get one date out of it. Guessed the stupid, confused look wasn't working for me that day."_

 

_Kurt stomped down his giggles, petting his boyfriend's gelled curls. "My poor baby."_

 

" _BLAINE!" The couple chorused, walking towards them with their pinkies linked._

 

" _It's almost midnight and the fireworks are about to start!" Brittney said excitedly._

 

_Santana smirked at Kurt "And hello! Who is this adorable looking china doll?"_

 

_Blaine rolled his eyes, "This is Kurt, my boyfriend."_

 

_Before Kurt could greet them, Brittney squealed. "Oh my gosh! You finally got me a dolphin?! Yay!" She threw her arms around Kurt and hugged him, sitting on one of his legs. "Oooh, you did a great job, Blaine. He's the perfect cuddly dolphin!"_

 

_Blaine snorted, "Yes, I'm with him just for your benefit."_

 

_Kurt chuckled slightly, patting Brittney when she hugged him. "Nice to meet you, Brittney."_

 

_Santana flipped her hair over her shoulder, "Come on, Brit. I want to grab a good spot to watch the fireworks." She winked at Blaine. "Glad you're not a single-mingle this year, Anderson. I was beginning to think you had as much game as a straight guy." Blaine stuck his tongue out at her, knowing better than to flick her off. Last time he did that, Brittney gave him a time out._

 

" _Okay!" Brittney stood up gracefully, turning around to peck both boys' cheeks before she left. "Hurry up, Santana said the fireworks are gonna be extra special this year." Then she pranced off in her zebra-print Uggs, her ponytail swinging behind her._

 

" _I…actually like them."_

 

_Blaine chuckled, "Good, because try as I might. They don't leave me alone."_

 

" _Blaine…"_

 

" _All right, all right. I love them both to pieces. Even Santana has her moments. Happy now?"_

 

_Kurt giggled, "Very, now come on. I want to see these extra special fireworks." He grabbed Blaine's hand and proceeded to walk across the base towards the once grassy knoll (it was covered in snow at the moment) where everyone was laid out on blankets, waiting for the fireworks to begin. Santana crooked a finger at them when she saw the couple approaching, pointing to the open spot near her and Brittney. "Thanks Santana."_

 

" _No problem, Porcelain." She laid back against the soft quilt, smiling when Brittney cuddled up to her._

 

" _What's with the nicknames?" Kurt asked Blaine, following their lead as they stretched out on a thick blanket Blaine had set down too. Blaine with one arm stretched out so Kurt could use his bicep as pillow, his arm curling down to hug Kurt against his body._

 

" _At least your not Hobbit." Blaine mumbled._

 

_Santana laughed, "Hey, crack six feet and then we'll talk."_

 

_Kurt giggled, "He's big where it counts!"_

 

_Right when it came out, Kurt knew he'd stuck his foot in his mouth. Santana smiled mischievously at him, while a few of the couples around them chuckled too. "Well, well, well. Do my ears deceive me?"_

 

_Kurt flushed from neck to ears, hiding his face in the Blaine's thick jacket, "Oh my Gosh."_

 

_An army guy to their left—David, Blaine later told Kurt—piped up. "Aw come on, San. Stop giving the new guy a hard time."_

 

" _Yeah!" Wes agreed. "Me and the misses just want to count down the seconds, watch the fireworks, then kiss at midnight, not discuss the size of Blaine's endowment."_

 

_Blaine groaned in frustration when David and Wes's wives chuckled. "Please, please stop talking."_

 

_Jeremiah stopped making out with his date long enough say, "I heard a reference to Sergeant's cock. What did I miss?" He didn't wait for an answer; he just went back to making out with the guy he was with._

 

" _Be nice, guys. The count down is going to start in a few minutes. You have to start thinking of the wish you're going to make once the new year begins. If you were good enough, and if you believe hard enough, your wish will come true." Brittney explained, smiling at the little circle of friends. Each one shrugging and going back to cuddling or talking quietly with their significant other, or making out in Jeremiah's case._

 

_Kurt and Blaine cuddled close, watching as the stars twinkled in the dark sky. The paler boy threw his arm over Blaine's waist to hug him close, and proceeded to tangle their legs together. Blaine's chest rumbled with amused laughter. They laid there for a minute or so, looking at each other shyly only for Kurt to peck Blaine's chin or Blaine to press a tender kiss to Kurt's temple. Those light touches enough to make their bodies heat up with affectionate warmth. After all the family drama from the holidays, this…this was a nice change of pace. "You know your family will come around, right? Once they see, once we show them how much we really love each other?"_

 

_Kurt nuzzled into Blaine's neck. "Yeah, I know. I just wished they had been supportive. If my mom were alive I know she would have been. She's probably the only one we have in our corner." He sighed, defeated. "Not even a brave, gentlemanly, selfless soldier can charm his way into my father's good graces right off the bat, huh?"_

 

_Blaine chuckled, "He's going to love me, I know it. I already have Carole on my side, and I won't stop until Finn is my new best friend. "_

 

_Kurt hummed in agreement, "I wish I could say the same for your family. Your mother seemed sweet, from what little she spoke. The jokes your father cracked were funny, even if your grandfather shot him down with every pun he made. And I do like Cooper, even if he smacked my ass."_

 

_Blaine spluttered, "He what?!"_

 

_Kurt giggled, "I'm kidding. He just told me to tell you that. Get a rise out of you."_

 

_Blaine grumbled something incoherently, harrumphing back against the blanket once again. He would have started thinking up of revenge plots against his brother, but the comforting circles Kurt's fingers were kneading into Blaine's abdomen just made him want to preen for more. A sigh of relaxation escaped his lips, only to be accompanied by a rhythmic humming. Kurt's fingers didn't stop their ministrations, but his ears did perk up in interest._

 

**_Yeah eh yeah yeah_ **

_Kurt craned his neck back, his eyes crinkling with the smile that appeared on his face._

 

**_I can feel a phoenix inside of me_ **

**_As I march alone to a different beat_ **

**_Slowly swallowing down my fear_ **

**_(Yeah, yeah)_ **

_Blaine chuckled when his army buddies chorused in on the last line, even Santana._

 

**_I am ready for the road less traveled_ **

**_Suiting up for my crowning battle_ **

**_(This test is my own cross to bare)_ **

**_But I will get there_ **

_Wes, David, and Jeremiah sat up on their perspective blankets and quilts. Their significant others content to huddle themselves within their jackets and marvel at their soldiers' voices._

 

**_(It's never easy to be chosen, never easy to be called)_ **

**_(Standing on the frontline when the bombs start to fall)_ **

**_(I can see the heavens but I still hear the flames)_ **

**_(Calling out my name)_ **

_Kurt sat up to pull his knees to his chest, watching as Blaine, Wes, David, Jeremiah, and Santana sang their impromptu song together flawlessly._

 

**_I can see the writing on the wall_ **

**_I can't ignore this war_ **

**_At the eh-end of it all_ **

**_Who am I living for?_ **

_Blaine's friends clapped-snapped the rhythm of the song, humming lightly to add some harmonizing undertones._

 

**_I can feel this light that's inside of me_ **

**_Growing fast into a bolt of lightning_ **

**_I know one spark will shock the world_ **

**_(Yeah, yeah)_ **

_Some of the other people on base turned towards the small a-cappella type concert, some joining in on the clap-snap rhythm the singing soldiers had set while others just sat and listened attentively._

 

**_So I pray for a favour like Esther_ **

**_I need your strength to handle the pressure_ **

**_I know there will be sacrifice_ **

**_But that's the price_ **

_Kurt squeezed Blaine's knee at that verse, his lover's honey-smooth voice doing nothing to soften the impact of the lyrics' meaning._

 

**_(It's never easy to be chosen, never easy to be called)_ **

**_(Standing on the frontline when the bombs start to fall)_ **

**_(I can see the heavens but I still hear the flames)_ **

**_(Calling out my name)_ **

_The soldiers' voices rose up above the crowd, the ones around them cheering them on and hollering encouragements. Maybe Santana and the guys did this often?_

 

**_I can see the writing on the wall_ **

**_I can't ignore this war_ **

**_At the eh-end of it all_ **

**_Who am I living for?_ **

_Blaine turned and looked directly at Kurt, singing the words specifically to him. Because he really was living for him, in that moment, Blaine realized the only person he wanted to make proud…was Kurt._

 

**_(At the end, at the end)_ **

**_Who am I living for?_ **

**_(At the end, at the end)_ **

**_Who am I living for?_ **

_When the song ended, the people around them started clapping. Brittney told Santana that she sounded as magical as a unicorn; Santana had smiled and pecked Brittney on the lips for the compliment. The twins gushed over their husbands' (Wes and David) voices, feeding their already too big egos. Jeremiah's date was giving him that 'we are so fucking tonight' look, obviously having enjoyed the soldier's participation._

 

" _Oh! Oh! The countdown everyone! Get your wishes ready!" Brittney shouted._

 

" _TEN!"_

 

" _NINE!"_

 

" _EIGHT!"_

 

_Blaine and Kurt hadn't looked away from each other yet; content to bask in the love they had for each other._

 

" _SEVEN!"_

 

" _SIX!"_

 

" _FIVE!"_

 

" _Ready to make a wish?" Blaine asked._

 

_"FOUR!"_

 

" _THREE!"_

 

" _TWO!"_

 

_Kurt nodded, "Ready."_

 

" _ONE!"_

 

" _HAPPY NEW YEAR!"_

 

_When the fireworks started going off above them, Kurt and Blaine leant forward and shared their first New Year's kiss. Kurt grabbed Blaine's face between his gloved hands as Blaine wound his arms around Kurt's waist to press their bodies closer together. Their lips were a tad dry from the nippy weather, but neither one seemed to mind as they both tried to deepen the kiss. Before anything too heated could happen, their friends had come around to give them each hugs and wishes of 'Happy New Year!'_

 

_After a few minutes of being jostled around their little pact of trouble-makers, Kurt and Blaine came back too each other, each with their noses and cheeks tinted pink from the bite of the cold air. "So…what did you wish for?"_

 

_Kurt quickly wrapped his arms around Blaine's neck, pressing close to him as they stared up at the multi-colored fireworks popping off in the sky. "Nothing very interesting, just a decent job. I'm not a seamstress. I'm a designer dammit." Blaine chuckled at Kurt's response. "All right soldier boy, what did you wish for then?"_

 

_When Blaine didn't answer right away, Kurt proceeded to poke his ticklish side. When he finally did answer, he didn't look at Kurt, just the fireworks. "The same thing I've wished every year since I first enlisted." He said softly. "To make it to the next New Year's."_

 

_Kurt felt his eyes soften, his heart clenching painfully at the answer. Blaine just quirked his lips at him, trying to cover up the honesty with a partial smile. Kurt was about to say something to him, comfort him; however, just as he was about to open his mouth, he heard the twins squeal next to them. He turned towards them, following the direction their sets of eyes had focused on._

 

_Then he saw it._

 

_Santana bent down on one knee, gazing up at Brittney with so much love in her eyes, and holding up a little black box. Brittney had her hands clasped in front of her, her lips were quivering and her blue eyes sparkled with happy unshed tears as she looked down at Santana._

 

_Kurt kept hitting Blaine in the stomach, pointing out what was happening with an excited grin plastered across his face. The hazel-eyed boy pressed up against Kurt's back and let his chin rest on the paler male's shoulder, watching one of his best friends propose to the love of her life. When Kurt looked back at him, emotional tears gathering at the corners of his eyes because of the beautiful proposal happening before them, he couldn't stop himself from kissing the corning of Kurt's mouth. He nudged Kurt's head back to what was occurring before them._

 

_Both men laughed when Brittney threw herself into Santana's arms, effectively knocking both women into a small bank of snow. Brittney proceeded to pepper her fiancée's face with lady kisses (she said yes, duh!). The group of friends' eyes became misty at the sight, especially when they heard the next few words come out of Brittney's mouth._

 

" _My wish came true."_

 

* * *

 

Kurt stared at the white fabric in front of him, keeping himself on his side, curled in a ball as he kept the bed sheet over his head. When a hand, Finn's he suspected, tried to slowly pull the sheet away from his head, Kurt just yanked it back over his head forcefully. "Kurt, please. You can't hide under there forever."

 

Finn tried to remove the sheet again; Kurt yanked it back just as hard. He can do whatever he wanted. He was the one with the tumor dammit!

 

"Buddy…"

 

Kurt stiffened at the second voice.

 

"I told Sharon and Wilson to sit in the waiting room."

 

Kurt didn't move, not even when the sheet proceeded to be peeled back from his head once again. His eyes were watery, glasz orbs looking up helplessly as his father was revealed to him. "Please Daddy, I don't wanna see Blaine's parents. I can't."

 

Burt sighed at his son's plea, resting his elbows on his knees tiredly. "I know, but they came all the way from New York to see you. Don't you think…you might at least talk to them, just for a minute?"

 

Kurt shook his head, "Why? They've never cared before."

 

"You'd have to ask them that."

 

"I don't WANT to! I'm not going to be put on display just so the Andersons can take some sick pleasure in knowing their son's faggot husband is dying! I refuse to give them the satisfaction!"

 

Burt leant forward and said very sternly, "Now you listen to me, Kurt Hummel-Anderson. Don't you ever use that kind of language when talking about yourself. You should know better, and get this through your thick skull. You. Are. Not. Dying. You got me, Kiddo?"

 

Kurt started shaking, not because he was scared of his father, but because he just realized what he said. "I-I-I didn't…I didn't mean…w-why would I…" The helpless man crumbled into hysterical sobs.

 

Burt felt his heart breaking; he couldn't stand this much longer. Seeing his boy like this, it was tearing him up inside. He sat on the edge of the bed and gathered his son in his arms. Burt gripped Kurt tighter when the sick man gripped onto his father, seeking some sort of comfort. His muffled cries started coming out harder, but Burt just kept shushing him, relaying soothing words. "It's all right, buddy. I got you. I'm not going anywhere, you hear? Yeah, you go ahead and let it all out. I don't mind. You're gonna be okay. Everything is gonna be okay."

 

Kurt snuffled into his dad's flannel shirt, hiccupping every other intake of breath. "I didn't mean it…I swear. I-It just…came out. I'm sorry…I'm so sorry."

 

"It's the mood swings. Nothing that hasn't happened before." Burt reassured.

 

Kurt pulled back and sniffled, trying to keep himself from hiccupping. His dad handed him the tissue box from his bedside table. Kurt let out a shaky breath; grabbing a few of the tissues to blow his nose and clean up his now horribly blotchy face. "I just want to go home."

 

Burt patted his son's shoulder, brushing a few stray strands away from his face. "Yeah, I know. Soon, all right? After the surgery and the doctors say you can."

 

"Not without Blaine. I can't do this without him."

 

"Kurt…maybe it's time to think about…doing the procedure…without Blaine here." Burt said lightly.

 

"No. I've held out this long, I can wait a few more days. I'll even schedule the procedure for the minute he gets here. I just…I NEED him here." Kurt stressed.

 

Burt sighed, "I know you said he's coming home, but how do you know this thing inside your head won't do some serious damage while you keep waiting? Just because it ain't cancer, doesn't mean it's not serious. Blaine wouldn't want you to not get treatment because you're just being stubborn."

 

Kurt glared, "He'll be here. You just wait. I'm not going to give up on him so easily."

 

"Yeah? Well, what if next time it's not just a mood swing, or some misplaced memory? What are you gonna do then, huh? I already lost your mother, I'm not going to loose you too!" Burt glared back.

 

"Burt."

 

Both men looked towards the door, seeing Carole eye them steadily. "Calm down, remember your heart."

 

"Screw my heart! I'm not about to sit back and watch my son wait around when—"

 

"That's enough, honey!" Carole shouted over him. "That's enough. Kurt is a big boy. Quinn and the surgeon assigned to Kurt's case said that he could wait one more day. One more day, okay? After that, you will agree to the surgery. All right, Kurt?"

 

Kurt nodded stiffly, "Th-Thank you, Carole. I know he'll be here by then. I just know it."

 

Carole smiled warmly at him, "I believe you, sweetheart. You're father's just worried, as we all are."

 

Burt crossed his arms over his chest, sitting back in the seat next to Kurt's bed. "This time tomorrow, no more funny business, okay?"

 

Kurt sighed gratefully, "By this time tomorrow, Blaine's going to give you his 'and you doubted me?' face."

 

When Kurt smiled smugly, Burt found himself smirking in amusement. Damn his kid's smile for being so infectious.

 

Carole chuckled, "All right, now that that's settled, think you're up for some visitors?"

 

Kurt groaned, "Do I have to?"

 

Caroled tsked at him, "Sharon and Wilson came a long way, Kurt. They are so worried about you."

 

"Th-They are?" Kurt asked shyly.

 

She nodded, "Mhmm. Just give them five minutes, and if you still want them to leave, I'll escort them out personally. Sound fair?"

 

Kurt sighed through his nose, "Okaaaaay."

 

"Good, I told Finn to take Queen out for a walk, so they'll be back in a bit." With that, she turned on her heel, and left.

 

"Why do you listen to her and not me?"

 

"I like her better." Kurt said in a matter-of-fact tone, quirking his lips up at the corners when Burt snorted.

 

The door to his room slid open. "Kurt? Honey?"

 

Kurt cringed at the endearment, it sounding very foreign coming from her. "H-Hi, Mrs. Anderson."

 

"Please call me, Sharon. You're my son-in-law. I think a first name basis is acceptable now." She smiled slightly, holding a silver frame close to her chest. She was a petite woman, with delicate silver-framed glasses on her small face, olive skin, and dark-brown curls. Her yellow cardigan and brown skirt were neatly pressed.

 

"I think I'll stick with Mrs. Anderson, if you don't mind."

 

Sharon deflated a little bit, pushing up her glasses and nodding. "Right, okay. Well, h-how do you feel?"

 

"Like dancing to a number from Kinky Boots."

 

"Kurt." Burt chided.

 

"What? I don't know how I'm supposed to act here." He turned back towards the Andersons. "You've made it very clear over the years how much you value your son. Which kills me to say, is not a lot."

 

"Don't blame Sharon for that. Please, that's all my fault." Wilson spoke up, running an embarrassed hand through his salt and peppered hair. He was a fairly average looking man, average height, average build, and blue eyes. Surprisingly, he had a bit of stubble on him now, and the white button up under his black blazer was a little wrinkled. It's the most rumpled Kurt has ever seen him look.

 

"Just tell me why you're here."

 

Sharon shuffled forward, "We heard you were having surgery."

 

"So?"

 

"We thought we could be of some help. Be here for you. You…You are apart of our family." Sharon stressed.

 

Kurt gaped at them. "Are you serious? If you think being here is going to cause Blaine to overlook how you've ignored him, basically disowned him all these years, then you should just go back to New York. Back to your homophobic patriarch!"

 

"I know I was wrong to not support Blaine, to shun him, to ignore how his grandfather humiliated him time and time again. But I'm done with Albert Anderson. I've cut all ties to him and I will no longer stand for his crass comments towards my family. I know we will need to earn the chance to be your family, but Sharon and me are going to try to earn that right." Wilson stated.

 

Sharon nodded, "I just want my boys back. We miss Blaine, we miss Cooper, and we want the chance to know you, Kurt. You're an extraordinary young man. Blaine…" She choked on little sob, so she cleared her throat. "…once wrote to us, while he was overseas. He told us all about you. I could tell from the letter that he was completely enamored with you, even if he didn't say it outright. I-I would show it to you, but when I was sharing the letter with Wilson's mother—who by the way has nothing but love for her grandsons and you—Al walked in. He saw it, and ripped it up. Then he…BURNED my baby's letter in the fireplace."

 

"I'm sorry he did that…but I still don't know what you want me to say." Kurt confessed. He felt for the woman, his technical mother-in-law, but he didn't know how to just pretend like they were innocent. They chose to bite their tongues around Mr. Albert Anderson.

 

"That's okay. We understand, but…um…I brought you something." She gestured to the silver picture frame she clutched. "It's one of my favorite pictures of Blaine, and I-I thought you'd might like to have it." Sharon walked over to Kurt and placed the picture delicately in his lap.

 

Kurt turned it over, and his heart lurched. It was a picture of Blaine, when he was young…so young. It was probably taken right after he enlisted. The background was off the American flag, his clothes were that of Private, and he had one hand to his forehead in a salute. He looked so handsome, and proud. Then, engraved on the bottom frame, were these words.

 

**My Son, My Hero**

 

Wilson wrapped an arm around his wife, "Cooper and Blaine are some very unique boys. We don't believe they've taken after either one of us, which we think is kind of a good thing. So, even if it takes the rest of our lives to make things right, then we'll do it."

 

Kurt sniffed, and looked up at the Andersons coldly. "You weren't there to welcome him home when he managed to finish his first deployment into hostile territory with just a bullet in his left shoulder! You let a man belittle your son when he got promoted to Sergeant! AND…you weren't even there when we got married! It's not up to ME whether or not you two can be apart of our family. It's up to Blai—"

 

Suddenly, the shouting stopped.

 

Monitors Burt wasn't really sure the name of started going off. He saw Kurt's eyes roll to the back of his head, his arms and legs looked like they were flexing, his body went rigid…and then tremors started to roll throughout his lithe frame. His body convulsed against the bed and Burt shot up like a rocket.

 

"Kurt!"

 

Burt pressed the emergency button frantically, feeling useless and out of control as he watched his son's body shake. Not two seconds later, Carole, along with Quinn and some more people rushed into the room.

 

Quinn shouted, "Everyone out of the room! Now!"

 

"I'm not leaving him!" Burt shouted.

 

Quinn pointed at him, "I said go."

 

Carole grabbed his arm, "Come on. Quinn will take care of him. I'll wait with you outside. He'll be okay."

 

Burt reluctantly let himself be pulled from the room, tears springing in his eyes, as the last thing he saw was Kurt's pale face tinting blue. He doesn't remember getting to the waiting room, or when he was forced to sit in one of the chairs. He just sat there, trying to forget that terrible image. It was only when Queen whined and the dog put his scruffy head on his knee when Burt felt himself zone back in.

 

"What did you two do?!" Finn shouted accusingly at the Andersons.

 

Sharon was crying, "I don't know. We just wanted to talk, make things right. We didn't mean for this to happen."

 

Carole held onto her son, "It's not their fault. Brain tumors are unpredictable. They cause mood-swings, headaches, all sorts of stuff, even seizures Finn. It wasn't their fault."

 

"Yes it is! Kurt was fine until they showed up! He was a little angry and shouted, but he didn't do THAT!" He was breathing deeply, shaking with intensity. "I have to see him, I have to see him!"

 

Carole held onto him, "Finn, you can't! Let the doctors do their job. They'll help him."

 

"No, no! He's my brother; I have to be there for him! Mom, let me go! Kurt! KURT!"

 

Burt stood up silently, walked over to Finn and put both hand on his shoulders to keep him back. "Listen to your mom. I want to get in there too, but you and I both know we would just get in the way. Kurt is strong. He'll pull through. He's made it this far, hasn't he?"

 

Finn finally let the tears fall, slouching into Burt as he engulfed him in a hug. "This is so fuckin' bogus. I wish I could…I just…"

 

"I know Finn, I know." He patted Finn on the back, hugging his stepson as they waited it out.

 

Wilson frowned, "We can…We can leave. If that's what you want."

 

Burt shook his head, "No, it's fine. In all honesty, we could use the support. It…it would be nice, if you stayed. Give us time to really get to know each other."

 

Sharon nodded, wiping at her eyes. "Thank you. We won't be a bother. Promise."

 

"You never are. The two of you just sit there and watch chaos unfold, don't you?"

 

The people in the waiting room all turned to look at the new voice.

 

"Cooper?" Sharon breathed.

 

The man in the leather jacket shrugged, "I see you remember my name." Wilson and Sharon looked like they were about to say something, but Cooper held up his hand to stop them. "I don't care. I'm not here for you two. I'm only here for my brother-in-law." When someone cleared their throat behind him, Cooper continued. "Well, him and this stow-away." Copper stepped aside and gestured behind him, revealing a woman in black Christian Louboutin ankle-boots, and a Michael Kors double-breasted leopard print trench coat.

 

Finn's breath caught at the sight of her.

 

"Rachel?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh look, some wild Brittana appeared. xD Rachel's outfit exists by the way...and I want it, but alas, I am a poor collage student.
> 
> Also the song was 'Who Am I Living For?' by Katy Perry. Leave a kudos, comment? Please?


	5. Always

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blaine's ass is on Instagram, Quinn is a badass, Cooper looks like a creepy version of Eric from 'The Little Mermaid'.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just popping in to leave another chapter! Hope you guys and gals are well. I appreciate your kudos and comments like you have no idea.
> 
> I come bearing fluff!
> 
> Enjoy lovelies!
> 
> Song explanation:
> 
> Present
> 
> Rachel (Bold)
> 
> Flashback
> 
> (Brittney) (Parentheses/Bold/Italic)
> 
> KURT (UPPERCASE/BOLD/ITALIC)
> 
> (KURT & BRITTNEY) (Parenthese/Uppercase/Bold/Italic)
> 
> Hope you like it and it makes sense! Let me know if it doesn't!
> 
> Again, no beta. All mistakes are my own.
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing, nothing, nothing. No profit made etc. See Chapter 1 for more elaborate disclaimer.

(Chapter 5)

 

_Blaine flopped back against Kurt's bed, sighing happily as he stretched out naked under the covers, joints popping with his efforts. "Can you believe Santana and Brittney are already discussing kids?"_

 

" _Mhmm…" Blaine hummed contently, folding his arms behind his back._

 

" _Not that they'd have them anytime soon, but San's already called dibs on my sperm. Like really? What? She can't do that."_

 

" _Satan knows what she wants."_

 

" _Hey, my DNA. My decision."_

 

" _Absolutely."_

 

" _If she wants some Hummel to go with her Lopez, she needs to at least stop calling me Lady."_

 

_Blaine yawned, "Agreed."_

 

" _Isn't she YOUR friend, anyways? Why didn't she ask for your…little soldiers?" Kurt chuckled at his own joke._

 

" _Mmm…"_

 

_Kurt looked over at where Blaine was. Shaking his head fondly when he realized his boyfriend had shut his eyes, most likely close to drifting off to sleep. Well, Kurt couldn't have that, now could he? "Hey!"_

 

" _Oof!" Blaine huffed, chuckling tiredly when Kurt jumped on top of him. "How are you still so energetic?"_

 

_Kurt giggled, leaning down to kiss his boyfriend sweetly. "It's Valentine's Day. We had oysters, chocolate covered strawberries, and champagne in Central Park. You bought me roses and an adorable teddy bear donned in a tiny army uniform. Then you sang 'Silly Love Songs' to me on the subway platform while we waited for the train to bring us back here. If your intention wasn't to bring me back here and have amazing sex all night long…"_

 

_Blaine rolled them over and kissed Kurt before he could finish that sentence, "My intention…was just to give my boyfriend the best Valentine's Day ever. As mind blowing as the sex was—which we will get back to, I promise—I had no ulterior motive for today. Knowing that I made you happy, that I put this breathtaking smile on your face…it's all the motivation I needed." He nuzzled Kurt's nose with his affectionately. "I love you, Kurt Hummel."_

 

_Kurt sniffed, smiling shakily through the happy tears springing to his glasz eyes. "I love you too." He put his head back against the pillows and pulled Blaine's head down to rest over his heart. Blaine's hold tightened on Kurt's torso as Kurt's legs came up to wrap around Blaine's lower back. They were content with staying like that for a while, warm sated bodies just basking in the presence of one another. Because eventually, there would come a time when they wouldn't be this close, in touching distance of each other. That's the thought that began to worry Kurt. This day had been so perfect. He never wanted it to end, never wanted Blaine to be anywhere but safe in his arms. "Blaine?"_

 

_Blaine hummed, nuzzling his face into Kurt's chest, kissing his pale clavicle sweetly. "Yeah, love?"_

 

" _This wasn't…I mean…you didn't do all this to lighten the blow of you telling me that you're going to be deployed again or something, right?"_

 

"…"

 

" _Blaine?"_

 

_He groaned into Kurt's chest, "Noooo…please. Can't we talk about this tomorrow? When Valentine's Day is officially over?"_

 

_Kurt pushed himself and Blaine into a sitting position, eyeing him warily. "I'm just being silly, right? Y-You're not leaving already."_

 

_Blaine hung his head, slowly reaching forward to clasp one of Kurt's pale hands in his. "I didn't want to ruin our first Valentine's Day together…"_

 

" _Oh God, I knew this day was too good to be true." Kurt put both hands over his face, chocking on a sob before pushing both his hands through his unruly sex hair. "You're not leaving in a couple days again, are you?"_

 

" _No! No, God…Kurt. We were just told this last week and we won't be shipping out for at least another few weeks, but…"_

 

" _But…?"_

 

" _But we're…getting ready. I have to make sure my guys are good to head out. It's why I've been a little busier. I'm sorry. I just couldn't ruin today with that type of news." Blaine explained, giving Kurt a sympathetic look._

 

_Kurt closed his eyes tightly, snuggling into Blaine's strong body when he pulled him in for a hug, "It's not fair. You can't go…you haven't…we have…it's not enough TIME. I need more time with you."_

 

" _Oh, baby. It's gonna be okay. Everything is gonna be okay."_

 

" _How long are you going to be deployed this time?" Kurt asked, not feeling at all reassured when Blaine held onto him tighter. "Please, not another year."_

 

_Blaine buried his nose into Kurt's hair, inhaling the smell of his dissipating cologne and sex deeply. "Fucking two years, babe…"_

 

_Kurt jerked back, eyes wide and shining. "No…"_

 

_Blaine's hazel orbs were tearing up now too, a mixture of glassy jade and honey. "I know."_

 

" _I won't see you for TWO YEARS?!" Kurt shrieked. Blaine nodded solemnly, not knowing how to comfort the man he loved. "What am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to be without you for two whole years?! Is it…is it at least a peace keeping mission like the last one?" When Blaine just gave him another sad look, Kurt nearly lost it. "You son of a bitch. You SON of a BITCH! How dare you? How dare you to this to me?!" Kurt was smacking Blaine in the chest now, damn near slapping at him until he almost fell off the bed._

 

_Blaine caught Kurt's hands, making the hysterical man look at him. "What! What did I do?!"_

 

" _Give me the best day of my life less than a MONTH before you have to leave me…for TWO WHOLE YEARS!" He shoved Blaine's hands away, hastily grabbing a pair of pants and pulling them up his legs. "I want you out. Get out of my bed, get out of my apartment!" Kurt gathered up a pile of clothes, not even sure if they were his or Blaine's. "Here! Take your stuff and leave, right now!"_

 

" _Kurt, wait…"_

 

" _No, no, I can't deal with this. Just get out." He shoved the pile of clothes at Blaine, pushing the soldier out of his bedroom, out of the hallway, and past the living room. Kurt opened the apartment door and shoved a shocked looking Blaine outside._

 

" _I…"_

 

_Kurt slammed the door in his face, placing his hands and forehead against it._

 

…

 

…

 

…

 

_Less than a minute later he was opening the door, looking at a very confused and still very naked Blaine. He wordlessly grabbed Blaine's hand and led him back inside. The two of them finding themselves back in Kurt's bed, holding each other in a fierce grip and trying not to shed tears in front of the other. "I'm sorry."_

 

_Blaine chuckled, "Are you going to throw me out every time I tell you I have to leave?"_

 

_Kurt made an indignant noise; tangling their legs together so every part of them was touching. "If I have to deal with you going off and risking your life…then you have to deal with me losing my shit because of it. I love you. I won't apologize for freaking out."_

 

_Blaine placed his chin atop Kurt's head, rubbing a hand up and down his lover's back. "I guess that's fair."_

 

" _Though, I am sorry I threw you out without any clothes on."_

 

" _There is a buck naked picture of my ass on Instagram right now. Courtesy of the girl who lives next door." Blaine thought for a moment. "Asstagram."_

 

_Kurt snorted humorlessly against Blaine's neck, then he craned back to look him in his hazel eyes. "I'm going to miss you."_

 

_Blaine pursed his lips, "I'm going to miss you too."_

 

" _I-I love you…so much." Kurt's voice quivered._

 

" _I love you too." Blaine swallowed thickly._

 

" _Now, I'm not going to be like those other army girl/boy friends. I'm not going to whine and cry and beg you not to go."_

 

_Blaine chuckled, "Why?"_

 

_Kurt wiped at his wet eyes, "And make this harder for you than it already is? How selfish would that be?"_

 

_Blaine's mouth opened and closed a few times in response, awe written all over his face. "God, how are you this amazing? This strong? You just…blow me away."_

 

_Kurt laughed dryly, burying his face back in Blaine's neck. "Maybe because I need to tell you something too?"_

 

_Blaine ticked his head to the side. "What is it?"_

 

" _I was going to wait until after Valentine's Day too…"_

 

" _You know you can tell me anything."_

 

_Kurt took a deep, steadying breath. "I got offered a job."_

 

" _Really? That's GREAT!" Blaine sat up and made Kurt look at him. "Why would you want to wait till after Valentine's Day? This is wonderful news. We should be celebrating!"_

 

" _You don't understand. The job…I was offered a teaching job, for fashion majors."_

 

" _Oooh, Professor Hummel. I like it."_

 

" _That's not—"_

 

" _Let me guess…Columbia?"_

 

" _No, Blaine—"_

 

" _NYU?"_

 

" _Can you just—"_

 

" _Was it Brooklyn?"_

 

" _Listen to me!"_

 

_Blaine stopped, frowning at Kurt's exasperated tone. "What's wrong?" Kurt bit his lower lip, running his hands through his hair just to bide his time. A nervous tick Blaine noticed Kurt did. "Babe, it's ok."_

 

" _No, it's not. This job is amazing. It has benefits."_

 

" _Well, that's good."_

 

" _No…Blaine, it's…" Kurt sighed. "It's at OSU."_

 

_Blaine tilted his head, "Is that…like in the Bronx or something?"_

 

" _Ohio. State. University."_

 

_Blaine stared for a moment, blinking slowly. "Like…Ohio? OHIO, Ohio?"_

 

_Kurt nodded solemnly, "An old high school acquaintance works for the Fashion and Retail Studies department there. She remembered I got a degree in fashion and interned at Vogue. A phone call, an e-mailed resume, and a Skype interview later…they offered me a teaching position."_

 

" _That's—"_

 

" _Now, before you say anything. I haven't accepted quite yet—though, God knows my dad and Carole are hounding me to do so—and it's not like they offered me tenure—"_

 

_Blaine placed his hand over Kurt's mouth, effectively cutting off the paler boy's ramblings. "Kurt, this is absolutely amazing news. I couldn't be more proud of you."_

 

_Kurt's eyes widened, 'you are?' He mumbled behind Blaine's hand._

 

_Blaine snorted, pulling Kurt back down with him so they could cuddle. "Yes. It's not like I care what job you have, but if this job sounds like something you might be interested in, I support you 100%."_

 

_Kurt shuffled closer to Blaine, hooking a leg over his hips. "But what about New York? You're stationed here."_

 

" _We'll…cross that bridge when we come to it. 'Who lives where' sounds like a talk we should deal with after I get back. So until then, go to Ohio. Take the job. End of story."_

 

" _I guess you're right. Just promise you're going to come back!" Kurt shouted, poking Blaine in the chest pointedly._

 

" _Of course I will." Blaine said, kissing Kurt on the forehead._

 

" _If anyone dare harms a hair on my soldier's head…" He warned. Blaine laughed lightly at his angry kitten of a boyfriend, grabbing his face with both hands so Kurt could look at him._

 

" _Kurt, know that I will always, ALWAYS, come back to you."_

 

* * *

 

 

***CRASH** *

 

"Finn!" Carole scolded, then covered her mouth in horror as a side table turned over and a vase smashed to the floor.

 

"Did you really think I wasn't going to punch your face in when I saw you?!" Finn shouted, pinning Cooper against the wall with his forearm pressing against the older male's neck.

 

"Stop it! Stop it right now!" Sharon pleaded, not understanding what was happening.

 

Cooper grunted, kneeing Finn in the stomach and then head-butting him when his hold loosened on his neck. He coughed and cleared his throat once he was free. "Are you insane? What the…do I even know you?!"

 

Finn held his left eye as it throbbed, snarling at the self-proclaimed pretty boy. "Yeah, I'm the guy who's girlfriend you slept with!"

 

"WHAT?!"

 

Finn lunged at Cooper again, but before he could get anywhere, security guards ran over to hold him back, and then Cooper for good measure. "Let me go!"

 

"This backwater hillbilly attacked me first. Why am I being restrained?!"

 

"I am this close to knocking that smug attitude off your pampered face!"

 

"Oh, what are you gonna do Sasquatch? Fall on me like the massive tree trunk you are?"

 

"That's it!" This time, both males struggled against their holds, kicking and cursing at each other for a reason no one was really sure about.

 

"Are you joking, right now?!" Quinn screeched as she entered the waiting area. She stalked over to the two immature men and said to the security guards, "Let them go."

 

"But Dr. Fabray—"

 

"It's fine. I said let them go."

 

Warily, the officers looked at one another, but despite the situation, they trusted Dr. Fabray's judgment. Once they let go of the still very pissed off looking young men, Quinn harshly held onto one of their ears. "Ow, ow, ow, ow! Quinn, what the hell?"

 

"Ah, ah, Doctor Woman! Knock it off! These ears are patented!"

 

Quinn just yanked on their ears again, glaring disapprovingly at both supposed grown men. "I just finished making sure your stepbrother—who is your brother-in-law by the way—didn't asphyxiate during his seizure. Then I come out here to tell you guys that he's fine, he's resting now, and I find you two grappling at each other like un-evolved Neanderthals!"

 

Both males winced, sinking to their knees when Quinn kept pulling on their ears. "Kurt is fighting like hell in there and you two are acting like children. Last time I checked, this was not the pediatrics ward!" She twisted their ears slightly, they both hissed. "I literally could not care less about why you two are acting like such brats, but you will bring NONE of that around my patient. If either of you wants to stay, I suggest you two suck it up, and get along, or so help me I will knock you both out myself!" She tugged on their ears when they didn't respond. "Do you understand me?!"

 

"YES!" They both shouted.

 

Quinn squeezed their ears once more, only letting go to put her hands on her hips as they whined and griped about their sore ears. She turned to the rest of the very impressed looking Hummel-Anderson family. "You may see Kurt now if you wish, but he's asleep, and I don't want anyone waking him up. Understand?"

 

They all nodded quickly.

 

She turned back to the boys, "As for you two…"

 

Finn quickly stood up, "I'm sorry, Quinn. I really am. I promise, no more fighting. Ju-Just let me see my brother, please?"

 

Quinn sighed, patting Finn on the shoulder. "Fine." Then she looked at Cooper, who had stood and was now dusting off his expensive looking jeans. "And you?"

 

Cooper snorted, "Like I said, I'm here for Kurt. As long as Gigantor over there keeps his mitts to himself, I'll do the same."

 

Quinn nodded, "All right. Everyone follow me, please. And hushed tones, he needs his rest." She motioned for the two families to follow her, coming to the sliding glass door and frowning when she stepped inside. "Rachel, only family is allowed to see him!" She whispered at her harshly.

 

Rachel sniffed as she stared at the bed, taking in her former best friend's weak looking form. His hair was wet, and it was obvious the bedding had been changed. They had cleaned him up before letting his family back in to see him. If Kurt were conscious, he'd probably be grateful of that. "I-I just…I heard about…and I couldn't just…Cooper was already…" She opened her double-breasted coat and threw it behind her, Cooper huffing when it slapped him square in the face.

 

Finn, of course, found this hilarious. Though, once he caught a good look at Rachel, he couldn't help but feel something in chest react to her. She was wearing a black silk-chiffon cocktail dress that ended mid-thigh, and it had a deep V down the front and the back. God, Finn thought she was as beautiful as ever. "Rachel, why are you here?"

 

She turned to him; brown eyes watery and tears escaping down her cheeks. "Hi, Finn. Um…I…" Rachel turned back towards Kurt, feeling a sob wretch from her throat.

 

Cooper sighed, folding the coat over his arm and reaching into one of the pockets for her embroidered handkerchief. "Here."

 

"Do you really have to flaunt your relationship in front of me like that?" Finn sneered, not able to help himself.

 

Cooper froze, looking at Finn with a perplexed look. "What?"

 

Finn snorted, "Don't act so innocent. If you want me not to punch you, knock off…" He made a gesture between Rachel and Cooper. "…whatever THAT is."

 

"What? Is that what your deal is?" Finn nodded slowly, not so sure about his answer anymore. "I'm not into Streisand wannabes. In fact, even if I did find her attractive, her completely controlling, self-centered, and self-proclaimed stardom personality would kill any amount of sexiness she might have." He shoved Rachel's jacket at Finn. "I play Nick Arnstein in 'Funny Girl' on Broadway. Lead, opposite your little girlfriend, and I have been wanting to shoot myself in the foot ever since." Copper finished, throwing his hands in the air.

 

Finn stared at Cooper for a moment, everyone in the room now sitting in their own respective chairs and staring at the two intently. Even Queen, who was on the bed and snuggled into Kurt's side like before, had his head tilted towards the two men. As if he was waiting for Finn's response as well. Finn furrowed his brows together; opening his mouth as if to respond to him, but then turned his attention back to Rachel. "So…you two didn't sleep together the weekend I couldn't come up to visit you?"

 

Rachel laughed wetly, shaking her head at the question even though her eyes never left Kurt. "Yeah…I lied."

 

"Thank you!" Cooper shouted gleefully, but then shrank in on himself when he noticed Quinn giving him the death glare from where she was watching the room outside by the nurse's station. She wasn't above giving the family some privacy with Kurt, but after that seizure, Quinn wanted to keep a close eye on her friend. He mouthed, 'my bad,' before shuffling off to sit in his own chair.

 

Finn gaped at her, "H-How? Why? You…"

 

Rachel shook her head, "Can we just put that aside for now? I didn't come all this way for us. I came for him." She stepped closer to Kurt's bed, sitting down on the side of the mattress and taking one of his hands. Rachel frowned at their clammy feel, looking up at Kurt's face and watching as his eyes moved back and forth behind his eyelids. She smiled sadly, hoping that whatever he was dreaming about was something good, something that made him happy. "I mean…what can I say? He's the Glinda to my Elphaba. No matter what stupid, STUPID, fight we had…he's my best friend. I can't NOT be here for him."

 

Her voice croaked towards the end, despite the fact that Kurt and her hadn't spoken in years, no one had the heart to throw her out. Kurt needed people that cared about him around, and it was obvious that Rachel did care about Kurt. Burt sighed; this day had become more exhausting than he wanted it to be. "You know you're always welcome here, Rachel."

 

Rachel put a hand over her mouth, almost squeaking with happiness. She composed herself after a minute, rubbing a finger under one of her eyes before smiling slightly at Kurt. "Well, sorry I look as dreadful as I do. But then again, you're probably enjoying that little fact." Queen stood up and circled around himself a few times, before settling back down on the bed. He nosed one of Kurt's arms with his muzzle, burrowing under it until he got it rested on his furry neck. Then he laid his scruffy head on Kurt's stomach, whining when his human didn't scratch behind his ears like normal. Rachel cleared her throat. "You remember when we went to New York in high school?"

 

It was as if she expected Kurt to answer.

 

"Sure you do, and I bet you remember when we broke into that Broadway theatre." She chuckled.

 

"What?" Burt asked.

 

Rachel ignored him, "Remember that song we sang? The one on stage?"

 

Kurt, of course, didn't answer.

 

"Of course you do. How about we sing it, huh? Bring a little sunshine into this dreary hospital room, would you like that?" She asked.

 

"Rachel, I don't think—" Burt was cut off by Carole's hand on his arm. His wife shook her head at him, letting him know Rachel should be left to her one-sided conversation. People needed to cope in their own way.

 

She giggled, patting Kurt's hand and moving some damp hair out of his eyes. "All right, I'll start. Normally I charge for this sort of thing, but for you I'll make an exception."

 

They should tell her stop.

 

They really should.

 

**I'm limited**

**Just look at me**

**I'm limited**

**And just look at you, you can do all I couldn't do**

**Glinda**

 

But no one did.

 

**So now it's up to you**

**For both of us**

**Now it's up to you**

 

Rachel poked Kurt's arm, "Your turn, Kurt."

 

No response.

 

"Come on, you can't still be mad at me." Rachel chuckled shakily, flipping her hair over her shoulder. "For old time's sake. Listen, like this."

 

**I've heard it said**

**That people come into our lives for a reason**

 

"See? Easy."

 

**Bringing something we must learn**

**And we are led**

**To those who help us most to grow**

**If we let them**

**And we help them in return**

 

"Okay, and…sing!" Rachel said.

 

Finn looked away from the bed, not even he could hold in his silent tears.

 

Cooper shuffled uncomfortable in his chair. Yeah, okay, he didn't exactly love Rachel, but he didn't hate her THAT much. This…no one should ever have to go through this.

 

"Kurt, please…I said I was sorry." Rachel whispered, lower lip quivering. "Why won't you sing with me?"

 

Sharon hiccupped on a cry in the corner, gripping her husband's hand for comfort. Wilson was no better, his misty eyes trained on the tiled floor.

 

"Okay, I was wrong. I was so wrong back then. I should have supported you in your relationship with Blaine. I should have supported your decision to go and teach at OSU, but…but…" She sucked in a sharp breath, shutting her eyes tightly before opening them again. "But you know how self-centered I can be sometimes. That's why we're such good friends. We keep each other grounded, you know?" She sniffed slightly, letting the tears leak from her eyes. "I guess you didn't need me as much as I needed you. I mean why would you? People actually like you." She chuckled, clasping Kurt's hand in both of hers. "So can you please forgive me?"

 

Burt hung his head, gripping the ball cap he wore in a tight fist. Why was everything so unfair for his kid?

 

"Kurt? Kurt okay, okay, you don't need to sing with me. J-Just tell me we're best friends, that we've always been best friends." Rachel stared at Kurt's face, losing hope with every second. "Or tell me to shut up. You love telling me that. You're the only one I will EVER tolerate those words from." She pleaded.

 

Carole kept wiping furiously at her eyes, rubbing Burt's back when he hunched over. Almost breaking when she felt his back shake with how much effort he was holding in his emotions.

 

Rachel crawled on the bed next to Kurt, putting her head on his chest and crying into it. "I'll do anything, ANYTHING. Just please don't leave me. You're my one, true friend, Kurt. **Y-Y-You're like…a handprint…on my heart**." Rachel was blubbering now, her words muffled as she buried her face in Kurt's clothed chest. " **And now…whatever way our stories…end**." She looked up at Kurt, gripping the pale hand in hers tighter. " **I know you have re-written mine…by being my…friend.** "

 

Kurt lay still on the bed, his chest moving steadily under Rachel's head. He was still very much unconscious, and his form gave no indication that he was aware of what Rachel had said. There wasn't a dry eye in the room, and for once, Rachel couldn't care less about that. She held onto his torso tighter, the comforting rise and fall of his chest the only thing letting her know that Kurt was fine. Kurt was still alive.

 

Because he was dreaming.

 

He was remembering.

 

* * *

 

_Once again, Blaine was left waiting at the airport. It was still early, but he thought for certain Kurt was going to be there already. Sure, he still hated the idea of saying goodbye to Blaine, but that didn't mean he just wasn't going to show up, did it?_

 

 

 

_Though, when he looked around at all his friends and co-workers saying goodbye to their loved ones, he couldn't help but sigh and wonder. Maybe Kurt couldn't deal with a second goodbye._

 

" _Hey, Wonder Twin. What's got your thong all wadded up?" Santana chirped. Blaine snorted, shouldering his bag higher and still staring out across the waiting area, eyes still searching for Kurt. Her eyebrows rose, "Wow, really? No Satan comment? Or lez-be-honest joke?" Blaine shrugged. She sighed and rolled her eyes, "Look, don't worry too much about it. He probably had to do something for that professor job of his. Brittney ain't here neither. She got held up in a meeting with her wedding planner. They'll be here."_

 

_Blaine smiled slightly, "You're really letting her plan the whole thing, huh?"_

 

_It was Santana's turn to snort, "I personally could not care less. All I said was, no daffodils, no fugly dresses, there better be some pigs in a blanket, and booze." Blaine raised an eyebrow. She shrugged, "What? My abuela's coming. She may be coming around to me being gay, but the last thing she wants to do is sit in a church and watch two lesbians get married without being totally smashed. As long as she's there, I'm totally fine with it."_

 

_Blaine was about to comment on that, but a familiar voice stopped him. "Hey, Squirt!" He groaned when he heard it. "Aww…look at my baby bro, all proper in his Sergeant uniform."_

 

_He rolled his eyes, "Hey, Coop. Come to see me off?"_

 

_Cooper smiled, "Actually, I came to give Santana a little something."_

 

" _We've been over this. I will not sleep with you. You look like a creepy version of Eric from 'The Little Mermaid.' " She deadpanned._

 

_Cooper blinked, then huffed. "Woman, just go outside!"_

 

" _What? Ew no, I…"_

 

" _Either you can walk to the parking lot on your own, or I will carry you."_

 

" _Touch me and I shoot you."_

 

" _Santana!"_

 

" _Fine!" She shrugged off her bags and stalked out to the parking lot, muttering obscenities about Cooper the entire way._

 

_Blaine tilted his head, "Remind me how you get dates again…"_

 

_Cooper rolled his eyes, "Shut up. Just follow me. You're gonna wanna see this too."_

 

" _Lead the way…Eric." Blaine snickered, dropping his bags and following Cooper towards the parking lot._

 

_His brother flipped him the bird, exiting the airport and finding Santana standing in the middle of the lot. She had her arms crossed over her chest, and her boot tapping out an 'I'm waiting' rhythm. "Well?"_

_Cooper just smirked at her, pulling out a small remote from his leather jacket pocket. Needless to say, both Santana and Blaine were confused._

_Until…_

 

**_(Our love runs deep like a Chevy)_ **

**_(If you fall I'll fall with you baby)_ **

**_('Cause that's the way we like to do it)_ **

**_(That's the way we like)_ **

_Santana quickly turned on her heels, eyes widening in surprise at what she saw._

 

**_(You run around open doors like a gentleman)_ **

**_(And tell me, "Girl, every day you're my everything.")_ **

**_('Cause that's the way you like to do it)_ **

**_(That's the way you like)_ **

_The Latina put her hands over her mouth, staring in awe at her fiancée as she danced out from behind one of the cars. Brittney was singing into a microphone, the music coming from speakers somewhere in the parking lot._

 

**_(Just a little West Coast, and a bit of sunshine)_ **

**_(Hair blowing in the wind, losing track of time)_ **

**_(Just you and I, just you and I)_ **

**_(Whoa, whoa)_ **

_By this time, some people had started spilling from the airport waiting area. They had smiles on their faces, everyone watching the performance with their spouses and children._

 

**_(No matter how far we go,)_ **

**_(I want the whole world to know)_ **

**_(I want you bad, and I won't have it any other way)_ **

**_(No matter what the people say,)_ **

**_(I know that we'll never break)_ **

**_('Cause our love was made, made in the USA)_ **

**_(Made in the USA, yeah)_ **

_Brittney blew a kiss to her fiancée, and then made a grand gesture to direct everyone's attention to somewhere behind her._

 

**_YOU'RE ALWAYS READING MY MIND LIKE A LETTER_ **

**_WHEN I'M COLD, YOU'RE THERE LIKE A SWEATER_ **

**_'CAUSE THAT'S THE WAY YOU LIKE TO DO IT_ **

**_THAT'S THE WAY YOU LIKE_ **

_Kurt had come out from behind the same car Brittney had, singing into a similar looking microphone as he serenaded his soldier._

 

**_I'LL NEVER EVER LET THE WORLD GET THE BEST OF YOU_ **

**_EVERY NIGHT WE'RE APART, I'M STILL NEXT TO YOU_ **

**_'CAUSE THAT'S THE WAY I LIKE TO DO IT_ **

**_THAT'S THE WAY I LIKE_ **

_Cooper smiled at his little brother's face. Blaine was absolutely beaming. It was definitely worth the trouble of 'borrowing' all the equipment from his job. Plus, Kurt was good for Blaine._

_They…complimented each other._

 

**_WE TOUCH DOWN EAST COAST_ **

**_DINNER ON THE SKY RISE,_ **

**_WINTER IS THE BEST TIME FOR WALKING ON THE CITY LIGHTS_ **

**_YOU AND I, YOU AND I_ **

**_WHOA, WHOA_ **

_Blaine came up to stand next to Santana, both of them feeling overwhelmed and absolutely loved._

 

**_NO MATTER HOW FAR WE GO,_ **

**_I WANT THE WHOLE WORLD TO KNOW_ **

**_I WANT YOU BAD, AND I WON'T HAVE IT ANY OTHER WAY_ **

**_NO MATTER WHAT THE PEOPLE SAY_ **

**_I KNOW THAT WE'LL NEVER BREAK_ **

**_'CAUSE OUR LOVE WAS MADE, MADE IN THE USA_ **

_Kurt grasped the hand Brittney wasn't using to hold her microphone, and then waved to Blaine where he was standing next to Santana._

 

**_'CAUSE BABY I'LL BITE THE BULLET_ **

**_AND TAKE THE BLOW FOR LOVE_ **

**_WHOA OH OH, OUR LOVE WAS MADE IN THE USA_ **

_Blaine chocked on what he must assume was a sob. No one had ever done something as wonderful as this for him. There were literally no words worthy enough to fathom how much he deeply loved Kurt._

 

**_MADE IN THE USA_ **

**_(Made in the USA)_ **

_Kurt and Brittney looked at each other, both smiling at one another before skipping towards their respective soldiers._

 

**_(NO MATTER HOW FAR WE GO,)_ **

**_(I WANT THE WHOLE WORLD TO KNOW)_ **

**_(I WANT YOU BAD, AND I WON'T HAVE IT ANY OTHER WAY)_ **

**_(NO MATTER WHAT THE PEOPLE SAY)_ **

**_(I KNOW THAT WE'LL NEVER BREAK)_ **

**_('CAUSE OUR LOVE WAS MADE, MADE IN THE USA)_ **

**_(MADE IN THE USA, YEAH)_ **

_Blaine and Santana both laughed in surprise, not expecting their lovers to grab them and twirl them in a parking lot._

 

**_MADE IN THE U.S._ **

**_(Made in the U.S.)_ **

_Kurt and Blaine came to a stop in the middle of the parking lot, foreheads pressed together intimately._

 

**_MADE IN THE U.S.A._ **

_The couples kissed, along with most of the people saying goodbye at the airport. Applause was given to the two singers, but that wasn't their main concern. It was their loved one leaving that held all their focus. "H-How?"_

 

_Kurt giggled, "Me and Britt had to find something to keep us occupied while our soldiers were off working hard on base." He wiped Blaine's cheeks, chuckling wetly when he realized they were becoming wet. "Hey, why are you crying?"_

 

_Blaine shook his head at the question, feeling more moisture gather in his hazel eyes. "I just love you…that's all. And I want to kick myself because I feel like I haven't expressed that enough to you. Not in the amount of time we've had together, not as well as you did just now."_

 

_Kurt shushed Blaine and his nonsense. "Blaine Devin Anderson, how dare you think that way? You…have made me feel more love in five months, than I have ever felt with any other man. Being away from you…will be the hardest thing I will ever do, but I can get through it, because I know…I know we're going to be together again."_

 

_Blaine sniffed, grabbing the back of Kurt's head and kissing him passionately. "Kurt Elizabeth Hummel, you are the most amazing man I have ever met. It's a privilege to be captivated by you. It's an honor to be loved by you."_

 

" _Stop. Stop talking. If you say one more perfect thing to me, I am not going to be able to let you go. You hear me? Just one more kiss, one more kiss and then you have to go."_

 

_Blaine nodded, kissing Kurt with every fiber of his being, tears cascading down his cheeks as he did so. "I'll call when I can." Kiss. "I'll Skype when I can." Kiss. "I'll write you every chance I get with whatever I can manage to write with."_

 

_Kurt kissed Blaine again, throwing his arms around his neck to bring them closer. "Me too. God, me too. I'll write you every day." Kiss. "Twice a day." Kiss. "For two years, until the day I can do this again."_

 

_Blaine nodded, hugging Kurt to him tightly and desperately. "You move me in ways I never thought possible."_

 

_Kurt giggled, pushing Blaine away playfully. "All right, get a move on soldier boy. I'll be here when you get back."_

 

_Blaine smiled, "Always?"_

 

" _Always."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Snippets from Wicked's 'For Good' and the second song was Demi Lovato's 'Made in the USA.' Please leave a kudos and/or comment on your way out! :D


	6. Forever and Ever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurt wants to be crazy with Blaine, Burt makes a decision for his son, and Blaine likes his green finger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are seriously amazing. Every kudos/comment literally makes my day!
> 
> And now, onward with the Klaine! But first...
> 
> *Warning* again for possible triggers, that of which pertain to the many things that could go wrong with brain tumors.
> 
> Again, no beta. All mistakes are my own.
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing, nothing, nothing. No profit made etc. See Chapter 1 for more elaborate disclaimer.

(Chapter 6)

 

_Two years._

 

_Nearly two years have gone by and the longing he feels for his soldier is just as strong as the first day. He lives at home with his dad and Carole now. Kurt doesn't see the appeal of living in an apartment alone, much less a house. Though he does make enough money to live comfortably on his own if he wanted to. He doesn't even mind the hour and a half drive to and from the college. Kurt only has classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays anyway. Plus, the drive gives him time to himself, to think mostly. More often than not, he thinks about Blaine._

 

_Kurt finds it easier living with his dad and Carole, with Finn even. Being with his family helps him through the day. Since they've gotten over whatever aversion they had towards Blaine, they're really supportive of him now. His dad was his shoulder to cry on when Blaine's two birthdays came and went, even helping him build up Blaine's birthday care package. Carole was there to volunteer with him at their local Salvation Army during the holidays, because—as silly as it sounds—being there helps him feel more connected to Blaine. Finn and him became closer than ever during their time back under the same roof. Anytime he felt lonely, Finn was there to take him to a movie or veg out on the couch with him while they reminisced and just enjoyed being brothers with one another. Nothing could ever compare to Blaine's warm smile, his loving words, or the way his hazel eyes lit up whenever they landed on Kurt. But with his family finally in his corner rooting for them, it makes the journey a little easier._

 

_Thankfully, Kurt won't have to wait for very much longer to gather up his soldier boy in his arms again. Just a few more days—A FEW MORE DAYS!—and he'll be able to go back to New York to welcome his love as he arrives home at the JFK airport. It's almost surreal after all this time. With that realization, Kurt sighs forlornly as he leans back against a desk. Kind of hard to concentrate when the love of his life is due home from his two-year deployment any day now! He shakes his head to try and regain focus, observing the couple dozen students he has in his Fashion Forecasting course. In all honestly, he has no idea why they assigned him to meet in a lecture hall today. It's not like he had hundreds of students taking his class. The Ohio University wasn't exactly flooded with Fashion and Retail Studies majors. But, well, one girl sees a mouse scurrying across the floor and suddenly his class is flooded with exterminators. Oh well. "Seeing as all my visuals are in my regular classroom, maybe we'll just go over your semester projects today. Unique, which fashion designer are you researching?"_

 

_The college student stood up and dusted off imaginary lint from her burgundy dress. "Just one Miss Sarah Blakely."_

 

" _Ahh, I see. And why do you think she was successful in forecasting fashion?"_

 

_Unique sassily snapped her fingers. "The woman invented Spandex. She's helped us ladies keep our luscious figures in check and has prevented many sex-riots because of it. Honey, if that ain't fashion forecasting success, I don't know what is." A couple of his students stood up and clapped, whooping and hollering in agreement. Unique curtsied and bowed at their praise._

 

_Kurt chuckled fondly, "Can't ague with you there, I look forward to your presentation on it. And it's—"_

 

" _Professor Hummel, not Honey. I know, I know. My bad, teach."_

 

_Kurt rolled his eyes, gesturing for Unique to sit down while he looked for another student to call on. Just as he was about to call on one of the boys, music started to play softly throughout the lecture hall. He huffed, "Don't I always tell you all to turn off your cellphones before entering my class?" The music steadily got louder, and Kurt raised an eyebrow at them. "Well? Whose phone is it?"_

 

**_Mmmm…_ **

_The students looked around themselves, every one of them shrugging in confusion as to where the music was coming from. Kurt was just about to open his mouth and tell them to knock off their foolishness, when—_

 

**_I'm booking myself a one-way flight_ **

**_I gotta see the color in your eyes_ **

**_And telling myself I'm gonna be alright_ **

**_Without you baby is a waste of time_ **

_Kurt's entire body froze, glasz eyes widening when he realized the music was actually coming from the speakers in the room and not some electronic device from a student._

 

**_Yeah, our first date, girl, the seasons changed_ **

**_It got washed away in a summer rain_ **

**_You can't undo a fall like this_ **

**_'Cause love don't know what distance is_ **

**_Yeah, I know it's crazy_ **

_As the oh so familiar velvet smooth voice caressed his ears, Kurt looked around the lecture hall frantically. Wondering if he's finally cracked, or—or if the one thing he's been hoping for the past two years has FINALLY happened._

 

_That's when the double doors to the lecture hall burst open._

 

**_But I don't want "good" and I don't want "good enough"_ **

**_I want "can't sleep, can't breathe without your love"_ **

**_Front porch and one more kiss, it doesn't make sense to anybody else_ **

**_Who cares if you're all I think about,_ **

**_I've searched the world and I know now,_ **

**_It ain't right if you ain't lost your mind_ **

**_Yeah, I don't want easy, I want crazy_ **

**_Are you with me baby? Let's be crazy_ **

_Everyone in the room turned towards the back to see a man in an army uniform. He was singing into a microphone that was obviously hooked up to the sound system in the classroom. No one needed an introduction to who this man was. His picture was the only one that decorated the desk in Professor Hummel's office._

 

**_Yeah_ **

_This was Blaine Anderson._

 

_A sergeant in the U.S. Army._

 

_And true love to none other than Professor Kurt Hummel._

 

**_I wanna be scared, don't wanna know why_ **

**_Wanna feel good, don't have to be right_ **

**_The world makes all kinds of rules for love_ **

**_I say, you gotta let it do what it does_ **

_Blaine smiled as he sang into the microphone, hazel eyes locked with Kurt's as he made his way down the stairs toward his boyfriend._

 

**_I don't want just another hug and a kiss goodnight_ **

**_Catchin' up calls and a date sometimes_ **

**_I love that we're rebels, and we still believe_ **

**_We're the kind of crazy people wish that they could be, yeah_ **

_Kurt felt tears welling up in his eyes, the longing in his heart transitioning into something else entirely._

 

**_Oh, and I know we're crazy, yeah_ **

_The closer Blaine got to him, the more Kurt's frame started to shake._

 

_His soldier was home._

 

_His soldier was HOME._

 

**_But I don't want "good" and I don't want "good enough"_ **

**_I want "can't sleep, can't breathe without your love"_ **

**_Front porch and one more kiss, it doesn't make sense to anybody else_ **

**_Who cares if you're all I think about,_ **

**_I've searched the world and I know now,_ **

**_It ain't right if you ain't lost your mind_ **

**_Yeah, I don't want easy, I want crazy_ **

**_You with me baby? Let's be crazy_ **

_Blaine stepped in front of Kurt, belting out the lyrics with all his heart and singing to his boyfriend as if they were the only ones in the room._

 

**_Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na_ **

_He winked at Kurt, two-stepping an impromptu line dance during the short instrumental. Kurt chuckled wetly, happy tears dripping down his cheeks as his wonderful soldier made a complete goof of himself._

 

**_No, I don't want "good" and I don't want "good enough"_ **

**_I want "can't sleep, can't breathe without your love"_ **

**_Front porch and one more kiss, it doesn't make sense to anybody else_ **

**_Who cares if you're all I think about,_ **

**_I've searched the world and I know now,_ **

**_It ain't right if you ain't lost your mind_ **

**_Yeah, I don't want easy, I want crazy_ **

_Kurt squeaked when Blaine suddenly pulled their bodies together, encouraging Kurt to dance with him._

 

**_Yeah, look at us baby, tonight the midnight rules are breaking_ **

**_There's no such thing as wild enough,_ **

**_And maybe we just think too much_ **

**_Who needs to play it safe in love?_ **

**_Let's be crazy!_ **

_The professor couldn't hold in his surprised laughter when Sergeant Anderson easily picked him up, twirling them around the room without a care in the world._

 

_They were together again. That's the only thing that mattered._

 

**_Na na na na oh na na na na oh_ **

_Blaine plopped Kurt onto the desk he had been initially leaning against, bending down on one knee to finish serenading the perfect man in front of him._

 

_Kurt looked down at him adoringly, nothing but love shining through his baby blues._

 

**_Who cares if we're crazy? We gotta be crazy_ **

**_I know that we're crazy, so let's be crazy_ **

**_Yeah…_ **

_Ignoring the applause and the eyes on them, Kurt pulled Blaine up to stand in the space between his thighs and pressed the most tender of kisses to the other's lips. He poured every emotion he felt in the past two years into that kiss, moving their mouths against one another and wrapping his arms around Blaine's neck. His legs came up to wrap around Blaine's waist and pull him as close as possible, Kurt waving a distracted hand at the students behind them in a feeble attempt at dismissing his class. The faint sound of footsteps shuffling and bags being shouldered alerted Kurt to the fact that they got the message._

 

_Kurt only pulled their lips apart when breathing became absolutely necessary, letting Blaine press their foreheads together as they let their breaths mingle in between them. The paler male huffed out a small whimper, tracing his nose across Blaine's tanned cheek, down the side of his neck, and finally settling on nuzzling his nose into the juncture between Blaine's neck and shoulder. Every one of his limbs tightened their hold on Blaine as Kurt inhaled his soldier's clean musky scent. Blaine rubbed his boyfriend's back comfortingly, burying his nose into Kurt's chestnut brown locks. Kurt shuddered in Blaine's arms, moisture gathering in his eyes at just being able to FEEL Blaine against him, warm, solid, and so goddamn REAL. His soft lips brushed against Blaine's skin, the soft barely there whisper of "Marry me," catching them both off guard._

 

_The microphone dropped to the floor with a resonating bang._

 

" _What?" Blaine asked softly, pulling back slightly, his eyes wide as saucers._

 

_Swallowing nervously, Kurt felt his brain come up with numerous reasons why they shouldn't. It's too soon, we're not ready, he just got back, do I know him well enough, how will this work, he lives in another state, he's always overseas, and—and…and I love him. Kurt felt himself give Blaine a watery smile, his heart beginning to hammer against his chest. Instead of backpedaling, Kurt looked at Blaine with determination, the next words coming out of his mouth solid and unwavering. "I said…marry me."_

 

_Blaine let out a laugh, curt and still emanating disbelief. "Kurt, what—"_

 

" _Oh God, you're right, this is wrong. I can't TELL you to marry me. I have to ask you. This is all WRONG." Kurt disentangled himself from Blaine and proceeded to slide off the table to get down on one knee. "Wait…wait." He took one of Blaine's hands, taking a deep breath and looking up at his soldier. "Okay…okay."_

 

" _Kurt, stop." Blaine pleaded, hazel eyes becoming misty. "You sure you know what you're doing? This isn't because of how much you missed me, o-or the song just now, like everything just in the heat of the moment?" He rambled, wariness and panic seeping into his bones. "You don't have to do this. You really don't. I w-won't be mad, or disappointed. I pr-promise." His voice began to tremble, emotion threatening to spill over._

 

_Kurt just smiled at him sweetly, gripping the hand in his reassuringly. "It is because of how much I missed you. It's also because of the song, and it's because of everything else." Before Blaine could shakily interrupt, Kurt continued. "Sergeant Blaine Anderson, I love you. I seriously love you. I have missed you more than you will ever possibly know."_

 

_Blaine let out a chuckle, a tear making it's way down his cheek. "I've missed you too."_

 

" _Maybe this is in the 'heat of the moment' as you said, but I don't care. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to be there when you finally make Sergeant Major. I want to be the one who stays up with you on the nights when you have night terrors. I want to fight over what type of wallpaper to put in our living room. I want to get a tiny pocket puppy with you and call it something ridiculous like, Monster." He sniffed, tearing up once more._

 

_Blaine wiped at his cheeks with is free hand, uneasiness replaced with hope. "Sounds eventful."_

 

" _Oh, it will be." Kurt teased, rubbing soothing circles into the back of his soldier's hand. "I want us to grow old together, to live our lives together. I love you like I can't ever hope to love any other person in this world." Kurt hiccupped, tears spilling out of his blue eyes at a faster rate. "When you were gone, I couldn't breathe. I was so worried. I just—I couldn't stand the thought of losing you!" He broke off, trying to reign in the sobs that threatened to break out._

_Blaine got down on his knees too, "Baby, please, it's ok."_

 

" _No, no! I-I can do this." Kurt said, determined. "I'm not done." He rubbed at his eyes fiercely, finding it surprisingly easier to talk when Blaine was at eye-level. "Blaine, I can't stand the thought of allowing one more second to go by without you being my husband. I want to put a ring on this gorgeous guitar-strumming finger." Blaine laughed, shaking his head at Kurt's words. "But most of all, I want you to know that you are loved. That no matter where you are, or how far you go, you will always have me. So, with that blubbering chaos said, Blaine Devon Anderson, my brave Sergeant, my selfless hero, my one true love, will you do me the honor of becoming my amazing, AMAZING husband?"_

 

" _Kurt Elizabeth Hummel, you insane, beautiful, ridiculous man. Yes, yes, of course I'll marry you!" Blaine agreed happily, launching himself forward to kiss Kurt passionately. Kurt fell backwards and the both of them rolled onto the floor. "I love you. I love you so much. My fiancé. My gorgeous, loving fiancé."_

 

_The taller man giggled, rolling Blaine over so he was hovering on top of him, "No, not fiancé. It's not enough. I want to be your husband already."_

 

_Blaine's smiled against his husband's lips, "I know, I know. I want that too, but Kurt, we need to plan a wedding first."_

 

_Kurt pressed his lips against Blaine's harder, "Nu uh, can't wait. Let's get married. Today, right now. Let's elope!"_

 

_Blaine's eyebrows rose at that, "Kurt, we can't! That's crazy! Wh-What about our friends? Your parents!"_

 

" _What happened to let's be crazy?" Kurt teased, pressing his forehead against Blaine's when he huffed. "Let's go somewhere and get married. We sign the papers, get everything official, and hopefully be married by this time tomorrow. This can be just for us. We can have an all out wedding later, after Brittney and Santana's or something. But today, right now, I just want us to go get married. We can do it at a place we've never been before…like Canada. Oh! Oh! Blaine let's go get marred in Canada! We can honeymoon in Niagara Falls! Please, please?"_

 

_Blaine smiled fondly at the man before him, overwhelmed with the feeling of being loved and wanted. "You really want to do this? You really want me?"_

 

_Kurt nodded happily, kissing Blaine's lips sweetly. "Forever and ever."_

 

_Blaine reached up to lace one of their hands together, mumbling against his lover's lips. "Yeah, yeah, forever sounds perfect."_

 

* * *

 

 

Kurt blearily blinked his eyes open, trying to come back into awareness. It was hard. His mouth felt like he had just swallowed sand, his head hurt like a wicked hang over, and his body just ACHED. He felt awful. Whining a little, Kurt rubbed at his eyes gingerly, trying to survey his surroundings. It must be nighttime, taking in the dark room and the mess of rollout beds, pillows, and blankets.

 

He frowned slightly, the sight before him was really unexpected. His dad and Carole were curled up on one of the big reclining guest chairs, trying to sleep awkwardly and his dad hugging Carole in his sleep so she didn't slip off the seat. Blaine's parents occupied the rollout bed close to the sliding glass doors. He vaguely remembers their attempt to patch things up with him, but it was fuzzy. Just a lot of emotions swirled in his mind, anger, anxiety, and most of all, desperation. Kurt shivered, not really wanting to go back to whatever happened.

 

The wet nose that nuzzled his hand made him jump a little, only to giggle when he saw a furry head worm closer to his face to lick him in a happy greeting. "Hey Queen, hi buddy." Kurt cooed hoarsely, scratching behind the Akita's ears and causing the dog's tail to thump wildly. When the dog started to snuffle and pant a little too loudly at his human giving him totally awesome head scratches, Kurt settled him down. Letting Queen lick and nom on his fingers instead, poor thing just wanted to play with his favorite person.

 

Someone groaned at the foot of Kurt's bed, causing him to peer over his hospital bed too. Kurt's eyes widened. There was Finn, propped up against the wall, cheap blanket thrown over his massive form. But the surprising part, was Cooper basically right next to him, propped up as well with a pillow behind his head. When in the world did Cooper get here?

 

Then, an arm came out of nowhere and threw itself over Kurt's chest. Kurt gasped, momentarily thrown by the fact that there was another person in bed with him. But wait, there's only one person he'd allow in bed with him. A slow smile broke out across Kurt's face. "Blaine?" He choked. Kurt rolled over slightly, shaking the person next to him excitedly. "Blaine…Blaine! BLAINE!" He's here. Blaine's here! Kurt knew he would be! He just knew it!

 

The person next to him sat up suddenly, their long locks of hair flowing past their shoulders…wait, long locks? "Huh…Kurt? Kurt, you're awake! Everyone! Everyone, wake up! Kurt's awake!"

 

Rachel got of the bed and started shaking people awake, exclaiming about his coherency to a few people before running out of the room in her bare feet to fetch Quinn. Kurt was left in his bed, mouth slack, and hopes crushed. He couldn't even register the swirls of "Hey Buddy, you're awake."

 

"Dude, you scarred us so bad."

 

"Nice to know my brother-in-law is still with us."

 

"Oh Kurt, we were so worried."

 

The door slid open again, Quinn and Rachel emerging from the hallway. Just as Quinn's delicate hands came to cradle his face, tiny flashlight poised as his eyes, he smacked her hands away. Shock replaced with anger. "Don't touch me! Don't anyone touch me!" He raspy voice broke and screeched throughout the room, his visitors flinching at the harsh tone. Kurt looked over to glare at Rachel, tears of betrayal in his eyes. He couldn't believe he could EVER mistake her for Blaine. "The hell are you doing here?"

 

Rachel shrank back at the glare she was given, looking heartbroken and guilty for once in her life. "I-I heard about h-how you were sick. I thought I could…th-that we could just…"

 

"WHAT?! Be friends again?!" Kurt shouted. "You shut that door a long time ago, Rachel Berry! With your snotty attitude, and your obsessive need to be a self-absorbed BITCH!" Rachel pursed her lips together, willing herself not to cry. Before Kurt could say anything more, she turned on her heels and ran from the room, tears no doubt streaming down her face. Kurt shouted after her, "Just because I'm contained in a hospital bed doesn't mean I'm feeble enough to let you take advantage of me—" Kurt broke off with some raspy coughs, hacking at the strain his loud voice put on his dry throat. He was vaguely aware of Quinn putting a cup of water to his lips.

 

Finn stared after her, shaking his head at how mean his brother had just been. "Kurt, that was—that was SO not cool." He dropped the blanket he had been holding and proceeded to run after her.

 

Kurt finished his water and cleared his throat, glaring at where his brother had just left. "Fine, leave then. And don't come back!"

 

Queen whined at the angriness, jumping off the bed and hiding under it. Burt shook his head, "Buddy, that is enough. We can't go on like this." He turned to look at Quinn. "Dr. Fabray, I think it's time we went ahead with this thing."

 

Kurt felt his body grow cold, "Go ahead with what?"

 

Quinn nodded tiredly, "I think you're right."

 

"Don't ignore me! Go ahead with what?!"

 

Burt sat down on the bed next to his son, patting his leg. "Kurt, we're not waiting anymore. You're obviously not in you're right mind to be making rational decisions about your health. So…I'm making the decision now."

 

Kurt shook his head, scooting away from where his father sat. "No…No, NO you can't! I won't let you! Blaine won't let you!"

 

"Well, Blaine's not here!" Burt shouted back, internally wincing when he saw his son shrink back. The pale young man whimpered at the declaration and curled in on himself.

 

The sick man shook his head, "You have no faith. You don't know him like I do."

 

"Kurt," Carole whispered. "We just want you to get better. All this anger, these outbursts. The tumor is messing with you so much, honey. If you have another seizure like the last one…"

 

"What seizure?" Kurt inquired. Quinn and Carole not surprised that Kurt didn't remember it.

 

Quinn placed a hand on his shoulder, "While the Andersons were visiting with you, you had a pretty scary seizure. We managed to stabilize you, but there's no telling when the next one could happen. That's why your dad is right. When the neurosurgeon comes in tomorrow, you're having that surgery."

 

"You're lying. You're lying and telling me I had a stupid seizure just so I could have the surgery sooner. Well, I'm not falling for it!" Kurt yelled, chest heaving and body shaking with the effort.

 

Cooper sighed, "Goddammit, Kurt! Can't you see Quinn is just trying to do what's best for you?"

 

"You shut up. You're no better than your parents." Kurt sneered. "In all the time I've known you, Blaine and I have only seen you a handful of times. Including this one. So don't come in here all high and mighty with me. If you don't believe Blaine will be here, then you leave too." He said coldly, taking satisfaction in the slumping of Cooper's shoulders.

 

Cooper shifted from foot to foot, hating the truth in Kurt's words. "Fine." He grabbed his jacket off the nearby chair and stormed out of the room.

 

"Cooper!" Sharon called after him, looking between Kurt and where Cooper had just left before following after her son.

 

Wilson sighed, looking sadly over at Kurt. "Sorry." Then he left room as well, presumably to find his wife and son.

 

"Are you happy now, Kurt? Do you really want to run off everybody who's trying to be here for you?" Burt asked incredulously.

 

Kurt huffed, "None of you have faith in me, or Blaine. He promised to always be there for me, to always come back to me. If neither one of you can believe in that, then you can just go too."

 

Burt opened and closed his mouth a few times, shocked that his own son was throwing him out. Then he straightened out the cap on his head. "Fine, you want to be alone right now? I get it. But we'll be right outside, and in the next few hours, you'll be taken to have the surgery you so desperately need whether you like it or not."

 

"Oh, no I won't."

 

"This isn't a game, Kurt! Quinn is going to put your name on that white board and you're going to be tumor free by this time tomorrow! Do you understand me?" Burt stressed.

 

Kurt glared at his dad, tears welling up in his eyes at being treated like a child. Well, if they were going to treat him like one. In lieu of a response, Kurt blew a raspberry at his dad. Cackling when he harrumphed and stormed out of the room. He ignored the disappointed look Carole gave him, crossing his arms over his chest petulantly as she coaxed Queen out from under the bed and silently walked out of the room. Quinn let out a loud breath, letting the air blow stray strands of blonde hair away from her face. "All right. Well, I guess I'll let you have your space." She knew better than anybody what toll Kurt's body was taking. Anything he dished out at her, Quinn most likely would be the one not to take it to heart. "You'll be all right, you know? Your surgeon is very good."

 

"I don't suppose outright forbidding you from doing the surgery will make much difference, will it?" Kurt asked, sniffing indignantly.

 

Quinn shook her head, "No, not this time."

 

Kurt turned on his side and squeezed his eyes shut, the hot tears burning his eyes as he curled in on himself once more. "Then can you PLEASE just leave me alone?"

 

The small pumps Quinn wore click clacked away from him, the sound of the sliding door opening and closing alerting him to her departure. Only when she was gone did Kurt really allow himself to break. His shoulders shook, moisture spilled over from his eyes to dampen his cheeks, and his fist started hitting the pillow behind him. Kurt may have meant the things he said a minute ago, but not anymore. In a different state of mind, he might have been happy to see Rachel once again, and Cooper. One he hasn't seen at all and the other not enough. And his dad, how could he act that way towards his dad? He was just trying to do what was best for Kurt. He really was. "When did I turn into such a horrible person?"

 

"Probably six months ago. Give or take a few days."

 

Kurt's eyes snapped open wide at the cheeky statement, his heart lurching in chest at the familiar voice. His own shaking, "Blaine?"

 

* * *

 

 

_The camera flickered to life in the hands of its beholder, the living area of a hotel room being the first thing anybody sees. Suddenly, the camera turned around to show Blaine's face, curls a mess and face beaming with afterglow. "Well, hello there everybody! Welcome to Niagara Falls Tower Hotel! I am making this video to…um…I don't know really. I guess just to make a memory, you know? Maybe we might show this to the Hudmels, or our stupid army frien—ack!"_

 

_The camera tumbled to the floor, a perfect shot of Blaine falling on the carpet unceremoniously, probably tripping over that coffee table he missed. The soldier cursed up a storm, obscenities falling from his mouth that would make anyone blush. His shirtless, boxer brief wearing form picked himself back up before grabbing the camera. "Whoever's laughing can shut the hell up." He mumbled to the camera, already picturing an audience laughing hysterically at his expense. Blaine showed the hallway he was walking down, before turning into the bedroom. "Let's go see if my GORGEOUS husband is awake yet. Hehe husband. Never get tired of that."_

 

_The next thing shown was a king sized bed with white comforters and purple pillows. "This is our honeymoon suite. Excuse the purple. It was the last room they had on such short notice." Blaine gave a panoramic view of the entire room, opening up the blinds that were concealing the glorious view outside their window at the foot of their bed. "My God…look at that." A perfect picturesque view of a sunny day in Niagara Falls could be seen. The gushing waterfalls, the blue skies, the shining lake, the lush greenery…it truly looked amazing. "Imagine making love with that looking back at ya…" He mumbled to himself bemusedly. "Which reminds me, it's only the second best view in this room." Blaine gasped, "What's the first, you ask? Like you didn't already know." He replied playfully, jumping up on the bed and framing the camera down at a tangled up sleeping Kurt._

 

_The newly wed groaned at the sudden weight settling on top of him. "Blaine, no sex right now. I'm still too tired and sore from how hard we went at each other last night." Kurt huffed dazedly, eyes still closed, and burrowed further under the covers. "I demand food for refueling purposes. Then I'll give you a blowjob or something."_

 

" _But Kuuuuurt," Blaine whined, "it's such a beautiful day already. You can't sleep it away. Come on, we can go eat brunch at the Pinnacle Restaurant downstairs."_

 

_Kurt threw back the covers, presumably to counter Blaine's offer, when he was met with a camera in his face. "BLAINE DEVON ANDERSON-HUMMEL!" He shrieked._

 

_Blaine giggled and jumped off his husband, dodging his pillow attack. It narrowly missed the camera. "Watch the camera!"_

 

_Kurt blushed as he sat up, trying to glare at the camera as he tried to wrap the sheets around himself. "I'm naked under here!"_

 

" _Really? Show me."_

 

" _I will not—eek!" Kurt squeaked in surprise when Blaine yanked at the covers playfully, cuddling them back towards body and making sure all his man bits were covered. "Are you angling for a divorce already?" He teased, smiling around his words. Every fiber of his being was just so happy and carefree, which made it impossible to be annoyed or irritated by Blaine's antics. Kurt covered his face adorably with the sheets, peeking out only to blush and smile at the man behind the camera. "What are you even doing?"_

 

" _Just trying to capture the view."_

 

" _Niagara Falls is the other way, genius."_

 

" _Who said that's the view I'm talking about?" Blaine replied, smiling devilishly._

 

_Kurt blushed even more, throwing another pillow at Blaine. "That was cheesy and awful. Get out." He giggled, smacking away at Blaine's hand when he tried to pull the covers away from Kurt's body again._

 

_Blaine placed the camera on the side table, angling it towards the bed and giving a side profile of the two newly weds. The soldier pounced on his husband and pinned his arms above his head. "Never. You're stuck with me for good, Kurt Elizabeth Hummel-Anderson."_

 

_Kurt stopped his squirming from under Blaine, peeking up at him shyly. "Promise?"_

 

_Blaine smiled, leaning down to kiss Kurt lovingly on the lips, his tanned hands letting go of Kurt's wrists and trailing down the undersides of his porcelain arms. "I promise. No matter what happens, or where life takes us, we're in this together." He trailed kisses down Kurt's jaw and down his neck, whispering sweet loving words as he went. "Through desert storms or hurricanes, I'd cross oceans and continents just to be by your side." Kurt shivered, reaching up to thread his fingers into Blaine's loosened curls. "I'm sorry things have been so hard, and I can't promise they'll get any easier, but I never want you to worry. Because I'm here, I'm always here for you."_

 

_Kurt stopped Blaine's decent downwards, bringing him up to seal their lips together. Blaine kissed back eagerly, shuddering when Kurt trailed his delicate fingers down his tanned muscular forearms. Their hands laced themselves together as they kissed, wedding bands knocking against each pleasantly and welcomingly. "I'll get you a real ring once we get home. One that doesn't turn your finger green."_

 

_Blaine pulled away and laughed, "No way, I like my ring. And my green finger."_

 

_Chuckling, Kurt shook his head. "We are putting these atrocious things in our wedding album. I'm getting you a real ring made out of real gold, yellow or white is your choice, and that's final my ridiculously sentimental soldier boy."_

 

_He let out a sharp laugh, settling down next to Kurt and snuggling his forever love. "Fiiiiine, but only if I get to buy you one too."_

 

" _You are, maybe one with a—oh! Blaine, what are we going to do about where we live? Are we even going to be able to live together? Oh my God, I don't even have a house—mmph!"_

 

_Blaine cut his husband off with a kiss. "Don't you worry about a thing. Before this whirlwind of a wedding happened, I was going to tell you that I got stationed to be a Senior Drill Sergeant here in Ohio."_

 

" _Are you serious?!"_

 

_The soldier chuckled, "Yeah, I'm going to help train new recruits. We can start looking for a place to live once we go home. The house can be wherever, whatever you want."_

 

" _Say it again." Kurt said breathlessly._

 

_"What? Wherever and whatever you want? Figures you'd take the reigns on that."_

 

_"No, you goof. The part where you talked about us going home."_

 

_Blaine looked at his husband fondly, nuzzling his nose against the other's adorably. "We're going to go home, and home is where we'll stay, for as long as I can manage it."_

 

" _Even then, you'll always come back to me, right?"_

 

" _There is not a thing on this earth that could ever, EVER, keep me away from you."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song was "I Want Crazy," by Hunter Hayes. So, are you lovelies enjoying all these flashbacks? Or do you want me to just kick it into gear and get the present time moving along a bit more? Let me know in a comment. And don't forget to leave a kudos. :) Anyway, until next time!


	7. Love Will See Us Through

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a little evil cutie pie, Kurt would be a hotter ghost than Patrick Swayze, and Blaine believes love will see them through.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All you lovelies who read and follow this story are beautiful.
> 
> Anyways, that is all. Enjoy. 
> 
> Again, no beta. All mistakes are my own.
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing, nothing, nothing. No profit made etc. See Chapter 1 for more elaborate disclaimer.

(Chapter 7)

 

_Kurt wiped the back of his hand across his sweaty forehead, a little out of breath from his midafternoon run. He’s started running on the days he doesn’t have class. Not that Blaine noticed—or seemed to care—Kurt will admit his clothes had become a bit tighter over the two years Blaine had been deployed. Missing his soldier and being a worrisome eater, not to mention his veg out days with Finn, he may have gained a couple pounds…or maybe a few. The love of his life was in a fucking war zone! Excuse him for having an extra slice of cheesecake every not and then. Geez!_

_Point being, he knew Blaine had no complaints about his body, but Kurt wasn’t doing this for him. Kurt was doing this for himself. He doesn’t know what it is. Actually living with Blaine, seeing him every day, it drives Kurt to be better. Whether that has to do with his health or with his teaching job. Kurt just wants to be half as amazing for Blaine as his soldier has been for him. It’s with that determination that Kurt downed the last bit of his water bottle, taking out the buds in his ears, and digging into his pocket for his keys._

_“Honey, I’m ba—”_

_…_

_Blaine was dead._

_Blaine was SO dead._

_Kurt’s water bottle dropped to the floor with a thud, the chaotic scene that used to be his house forever seared into his brain. There was dirt from their houseplants scattered across their polished wood grain floors, chairs overturned, pillows ripped open and fluff everywhere. Slowly, Kurt closed the door, walking carefully into the tornado that must have tore through his home. His curtains had been pulled from the living room windows, and the vase of flowers that sat on the hallway table was smashed to the floor. Kurt was careful to keep his shoes on, not sure what the hell he might step on._

_“Blaine Devon, you are in so much trouble when I get my hands on you.”_

_Only when Kurt came around the living room couch did he hear small whimpering and growls coming from a squirming lump under his ruined curtains. Curious as ever, he lifted up the heavy fabric, and there tumbled out a fluffy four-legged ball of fur. Kurt stared at the mass of fuzz, eyebrows furrowed and mouth slightly agape as the tiny thing looked around at suddenly being freed from its confines._

_“So you’re the culprit!”_

_The thing squeaked at the sudden noise, tilting his head up to look at Kurt interestedly. It sniffed curiously, then an excited look appeared on its face, tongue lolling out of its tiny mouth as he let out a pathetic sounding bark. The fluff monster—well, puppy—ran over to Kurt, hopping up on its dirty paws to bat at Kurt’s calves. It barked again, whining sadly when he wasn’t immediately picked up. Kurt glared at the animal, picking it—oh look, it’s a boy!—up and leaning his face in. “Don’t you be all cute with me. You destroyed my living room.”_

_The puppy tilted his head adorably, not thinking twice before leaning in and licking Kurt’s face enthusiastically. His tail wagged, and his paws kicked, trying to get closer to lick and nuzzle the new person. “H-Hey, st-stop that.” He giggled, “Cut it out. That tickles.” Kurt couldn’t help the smile that split across his face; his arms unconsciously bring the puppy closer so he could huggle the adorable little animal._

_“You are so lucky you’re cute.” Kurt shook his head fondly, wriggling his fingers in front of the puppy, who licked and nipped at them. “Aww, you’re not such a bad guy. Someone just needs to be house broken, huh? And maybe bathe you…” The puppy yawned in his arms, nuzzling closer to Kurt’s chest as his dark eyes disappeared behind droopy lids, foot twitching slightly. Yeah, Kurt was a goner for sure._

_“Aw shit! Mutherfu—” Blaine cursed, hopping on one foot and holding his other foot that rammed into the turned over hallway table._

_Kurt turned around to face him, one hand on his hip and the other cradling the snoozing ball of puppy in the crook of his elbow. Bitch glare firmly in place. “Blaine, something you want to say to me?”_

_Blaine froze, head looking up guiltily at his husband. “Um…Happy Birthday!” He said hopefully, turning up his adorableness factor._

_“Uhuh…” Kurt didn’t seem amused. “My birthday’s not till next week.”_

_“Ok. Well you see, what had happened was, Finn was supposed to have held onto him until your birthday. But, um…Sarge kinda piddled on his letterman jacket.” Blaine pouted, shuffling nervously from foot to foot. “So yeah, surprise baby!”_

_Kurt snorted, “You’re such a goober.” He then turned to tickle the snuffly puppy’s belly. “You’re Papa’s a silly little hubby, isn’t he?” The puppy whined sleepily, licking his muzzle before snuggling back to sleep._

_“I don’t believe it. The demon spawn is sleeping. I have been chasing him all over the house for the past half hour! Then you come home and…” Blaine threw his hands in the air disbelieving. “…he turns into a damn cuddle bug. That thing is evil.”_

_Kurt chuckled, “Right. Well, me and the little evil cutie pie here are gonna get out of your hair. You have a lot of work to do.”_

_“Uh what? I do?”_

_He nodded, making his way to the staircase. Which was surprisingly still intact. “Yeah, who knows how long it’s going to take you to clean up our house.”_

_Blaine’s mouth dropped open, “But Kuuuuurt, that’ll take foreverrrrr.”_

_“Then I guess you better get started. Because I need a shower and once this baby wakes up from his nap, his Daddy is gonna give him a bath. Then we need to go buy you food, and toys, and a bed. We’re gonna have so much fun.” Kurt said happily, kissing the top of his scruffy puppy’s head. “Thanks for my present, honey! I love him!”_

_“But…but I…”_

_Before Kurt disappeared up the stairs though, he popped back down to say, “Oh, and for the record. His name’s Queen.”_

 

* * *

 

 

Kurt refused to turn around, squeezing his eyes shut tight. “I’ve done it. I finally went off the deep end.”

 

“Kurt.”

 

His body started shaking, trembling as he lay on the bed. “W-What?”

 

“I traveled halfway across the world to find my way back to you. Won’t you at least look at me?”

 

“I…I can’t.”

 

“Why not?”

 

“Because I’m…I’m scared.”

 

Suddenly, he felt a hand on his shoulder, a reassuring weight that caused Kurt’s trembling to abate. “Kurt, look at me.”

 

Sniffling, and still a bit wary, Kurt turned over on his back. His eyes fluttered open, eyelashes still wet with tears. He sucked in a breath, “Blaine.”

 

Blaine smiled, lifting his hand to touch his fingers to Kurt’s chin. “There’s my gorgeous husband.”

 

Kurt stared at Blaine in wonder, taking in his camouflage hat, pants, light green shirt, and his dangling dog tags. He stretched out his hand, tentatively cupping his soldier’s cheek. Blaine smiled softly, leaning into the touch, placing one of his own hands over Kurt’s and closing his eyes at the familiar feeling. Kurt could feel his glasz eyes watering again, emotions welling up within him. His cheek was so warm. “You’re here. You’re really here.”

 

His eyes opened, warm hazel melting Kurt to his very core. “I told you. I’ll always come back to you.”

 

Without warning, Kurt shot up from his bed. He wrapped his arms around Blaine’s neck and hugged him with every fiber of his being. But Blaine was ready for him. He reciprocated the hug, catching his sick husband and cradling him reverently to his body. “They didn’t believe me. No one thought you’d be here in time. But I knew. I never doubted my soldier boy for a second.”

 

Blaine chuckled, burying his face into the crook of Kurt’s neck. “I’m sorry it took so long. I missed you so much.”

 

Kurt pulled back, cupping both sides of Blaine’s face and pressing their foreheads together. “I’ve missed you too. My life has turned into a mess since you’ve left.”

 

The soldier smiled, slipping his hand under the back of Kurt’s shirt to hold and caress his soft skin. “So I noticed. Want to tell me what I missed?”

 

“Mhmm.” He nodded against Blaine, tugging his husband along with him. “Lay with me?”

 

“Of course.” Blaine swept himself and Kurt under the hospital bed sheets, settling down on the bed with Kurt snuggled into his side. “I can’t believe I get to touch you again.”

 

Kurt looked up at his husband and giggled, “We can do more than just touch.” He lifted himself up a bit, softly pressing his lips to Blaine’s. His body moved to lay more onto his soldier’s, their legs intertwining as their kiss went deeper. Kurt had to keep reminding himself to breath, the first kiss after Blaine’s been gone for so long never ceases to leave him breathless. Blaine cupped the back of Kurt’s head, playing with the hairs on the nap of his porcelain neck while their mouths moved and re-familiarized themselves with one another. There was no rush, no urgency; just two people basking in each other’s close proximity. It couldn’t last forever though, not when there were more pressing matters at hand. Something that Kurt really didn’t want to address yet, which is why he whined when Blaine finally pulled away.

 

The soldier gave him a sympathetic smile, and kissed the pout on his husband’s face one more time before asking, “So tell me, why are you here?”

 

Kurt sighed, resting his head back down on Blaine’s chest. “Wouldn’t the nurse or Quinn have told you?”

 

“I want to hear it from you.”

 

“Blaine, I don’t want to talk about it. I just want to lay here and be with you. For as long as I can…”

 

“Kurt, please?”

 

He peeked up at Blaine then, noticing how sincere he looked. Kurt frowned, “All right. T-They…they said I have a tumor.” He could feel the hitch of breath through Blaine’s chest. “I-It’s in my head, and everyone keeps saying I need this surgery. BRAIN SURGERY.” Kurt started trembling again, fisting one of his hands in Blaine’s shirt. “Blaine, what am I going to do?”

 

Blaine held him tighter, kissing Kurt’s temple and carding his fingers soothing through his chestnut hair. “Have the surgery, of course.”

 

“WHAT?! No…”

 

“Listen. Listen to me, please.” He shushed, cutting off Kurt’s hysterics. “If Dr. Fabray said that the only way for you to get better is for them to go in and take it out, then you have to do it.”

 

“But Blaine,” Kurt whimpered, glasz eyes welling up with tears. “What if something goes wrong? It’s my head they’re messing with.”

 

“That tumor is affecting your body so bad that surgery is the only option, don’t you think leaving it alone is worse?” Kurt sniffed at Blaine’s words, but didn’t say anything else. He pushed a little further. “Kurt, what is the tumor doing to you?” He still didn’t want to answer. “Baby…”

 

Kurt broke at the endearment, Blaine’s shirt becoming wet when tears tracked down his husband’s face. “I’m forgetting.”

 

“What do you mean…forgetting?”

 

“I mean everything. There are days at time where I don’t realize what’s happened. People have said they told me things that I have no recollection of. Then…Then Finn, he brings in this dog, tells me he’s ours, and I can’t remember us having got him.” Kurt was on the verge of crying now, his chest contracting with how hard he was trying to reign in his cries.

 

“Oh, honey.” Blaine breathed, gathering up Kurt and holding him tight. “Everything’s gonna be okay. Everything’s gonna be okay.”

 

Kurt hiccupped, “How do you know? I-I’ve had…they said I had a seizure, Blaine. It’s already so bad. The surgery could just make everything worse.”

 

“What makes you say that?”

 

“Like I don’t know brain surgery is tricky. I’ve watched House, and ER. One mess up and I could lose feeling in my arm, or not remember how to speak, or lose the rest of my memories, or WORSE!” Kurt tried to explain. “I could…what if I come out of it, and I’m a different person?” He made a pained noise in the back of his throat, finally voicing his greatest fear.

 

Blaine had to laugh a little bit, not because it was funny, but out of disbelief. “Ya know…most people would be afraid of dying on the operating table.”

 

Kurt snorted humorously, “Not likely. Quinn’s too scared of me haunting her ass to let anyone less than renown come near my head. I’d be so much more annoying than Patrick Swayze.”

 

“But hotter.”

 

“Of course.”

 

Blaine smiled, “So then why would you think anything would go wrong?”

 

Kurt tried to subtly wipe his nose on Blaine’s shirt, looking sheepish when Blaine raised an amused eyebrow at him. “Nobody’s perfect. What if he nicks something and I’m not…I’m not me anymore?”

 

“As long as you’re healthy afterwards, and your life’s not in danger, I don’t care. I love you no matter what. You know that.”

 

“Yea? Well, you haven’t been around for the latest episodes of Bitch-Kurt.”

 

 “Bitch-Kurt?”

 

“It’s awful. I’ve forgotten days of me being in this hospital, and yet, most of what I do remember is how rotten I’ve been to everyone.” Kurt whispered. “I’ve been monstrous…and I drove everyone away. God, they all must be so angry with me. I wouldn’t be surprised if they hated me.”

 

“Hey, now.” Blaine said, “Nobody’s gone. They’re all still here. And I don’t remember seeing any angry faces. Maybe some worried ones, but I didn’t catch any hatred.” He scooted down a bit, nosing Kurt’s face up so their foreheads could be pressed against one another. “I don’t think it’s possible for anyone to hate you. You’re too wonderful.”

 

Kurt’s lower-lip trembled, “But what if I turn into that awful person permanently? Just a mood-swingy bitch all day, every day, for no good reason. You would grow to hate me too…and I don’t think I could live with you hating me.”

 

Blaine kissed Kurt’s nose. “But I love you.”

 

“Yeah, you love me NOW—”

 

He kissed his eyelid, “I love you.”

 

“Blaine, come on.”

 

He kissed his other eyelid, “I love you.”

 

“I know, but—”

 

Blaine kissed his forehead, “I LOVE YOU.”

 

“What are you—”

 

He pecked Kurt’s lips. “I said, I.” Another peck. “Love.” And Another. “You.” Then he kissed him on the lips again, this time with more intensity, trying to pour in everything his words didn’t seem to be relaying properly. Kurt’s mind blanked out during the kiss, completely enveloped by the sheer love rolling off of Blaine in waves.

 

Kurt gasped when they pulled apart, letting out a surprised breath of air. He blinked dazedly, “Love you too.”

 

Blaine chuckled breathily, “Then stop worrying. You’ll get through this. WE’LL get through this. Even if you come out not remembering me, or become a scornful bitchy harlot, it’ll just be a chance for us to fall in love all over again. It’s impossible for me to not love you. I think it’s written into our DNA to love each other.” Kurt giggled. “Seriously, do an X-Ray. Kurt Hummel-Anderson is like…etched into my bones.”

 

Kurt poked Blaine for his silliness. “Just when I think you can’t get any dorkier.”

 

“Give me a few minutes. I’m just getting started.”

 

He smiled, surprisingly, a feat that only Blaine has seemed to manage these past few months. “Stay with me? Until it’s…time?”

 

Blaine nodded, wrapping an arm around Kurt so they were in their initial snuggling position. “Not a force on this earth or anywhere else could tear me away from you.”

 

“I’m married to such a sap, a dorky sap.” Kurt teased.

 

“But you love me anyways.”

 

Kurt smiled against Blaine’s chest, enjoying the feeling of just BEING with him again. “Yeah, I kinda do.”

 

* * *

 

_Not everything was a grand gesture for Kurt and Blaine. Sometimes the best moments were ones they only shared with each other. The box under Kurt’s bed with all of his soldier’s letters grew and grew over the years, to the point where paper wasn’t the only thing in there. Little trinkets, pictures, and even CDs filled the growing box of memories. Kurt had a favorite though; a CD Blaine made him that he’s watched more times than he can count._

_The video starts with Blaine’s blurry face coming into focus. He smiles at the camera and steps backwards a bit until he sits himself in a chair, guitar hanging in front of him. “Hey, Kurt. I hope you’re watching this on the right day. Though if you found it early, I guess I’m not that upset.”_

_Blaine shifts in his chair a bit, almost embarrassed to be sitting alone in a room talking to himself. “You’re at school right now, which is good. Because I’ve been wanting to make this video for a while. I…I um…”_

_He chuckles nervously. “I hate the fact that I won’t get to spend this year’s anniversary with you, but I’m hoping this might make it a little easier. If you’re lonely, or for some reason I can’t send a proper letter or call you for some time, watch this, listen to me, and know that wherever I am, I’m thinking of you.”_

_“I love you, Kurt. And this is for you.” Blaine smiles slightly, looking down at his guitar and tuning the strings a bit. He gives it a few experimental strums, and then he’s playing an audible tune on them. Before long he starts in on his vocal percussions._

**_Andoodadup ndoodadup ndoodadupeh_ **

**_Andoodadup ndoodadeh_ **

_When Blaine’s concentrating on strumming and singing lyrics, his eyebrows furrow together slightly. He doesn’t even realize he does this. It’s hardly noticeable, if you’re not looking for it. But Kurt finds it absolutely adorable, one more thing he loves about his soldier boy._

**_Andoodadup ndoodadup ndoododadupeh_ **

**_Andoodadup nndoodadeh_ **

_Blaine looks up at the camera for a moment, and then winks at Kurt (who is hopefully the one watching this)._

**_When you feel like love is never knockin', knockin' at your door,_ **

**_And it seems like you can't, you can't take it, take it, take no more_ **

**_Please don't let them throw, throw you around_ **

**_If you never stand up then you'll never, never leave the ground_ **

**_When you're feeling down and out like you ain't goin’ nowhere_ **

**_Feeling small and insecure makes you an easy scare_ **

**_But I know that time will see us through, oh_ **

_A slide spins into view on screen of a blurry camera phone video. It shows Kurt from a few years ago, rumpled and arguing with a woman behind the counter at an airport. Something catches his attention away from the woman, because then Kurt is sprinting across the airport lobby. It pixelates as the phone moves to where Kurt is running. Then the video recorders ‘d’awww’ suddenly in the background, the scene of Kurt jumping into Blaine’s arms now on their phone. The YouTube title reading, ‘Hopefully they say Hello again’._

**_I will be waiting, anticipating_ **

**_That love is waiting 'round the bend_ **

**_God knows I'm trying and all of my crying will not go to waste_ **

**_I see better days_ **

_The video spins out of frame, and a picture spirals in. This time, it’s of a letter with some parts blurred out. The visible part reads, ‘…didn’t get the job again. I almost called you today, but then I remembered you’re not in New York anymore. I didn’t know it was possible to worry about a guy I hardly know this much, or you know, miss you this much. I hope you’re safe. I think I’ve even started praying for you. Whether there’s a God that listens I’m not too sure, but you’re worth the nightly ritual of minute insanity. Oh wow…’_

**_Andoodadup ndoodadup ndoodadupeh_ **

**_Andoodadup ndoodadeh_ **

_A snapshot of a different letter spins into view, this time the handwriting was a bit messier due to it being written in a rushed state. ‘…my guys are okay. Everyone just gets really homesick around this time. It’s strange though. I used to miss things like fast food, the smell of the ocean off the pier, Vogue magazines. But lately, I’ve just missed you, like…everything about you. It’s been months since I’ve heard your voice, held you in my arms, kissed your beautiful damn face. I feel SO much for you already. Is that weird? Yeah, that’s weird. I’m just gonna…’_

**_I feel like running but I know I will fall down_ **

**_I feel like crying but I know in tears I soon will drown_ **

**_Time to take my own advice and give it one more try_ **

**_With every step I take I know some day that I’ll get by_ **

**_I know that you are, you're feeling blue_ **

**_I know that you don't believe in you_ **

**_But I know that time will see you through, and I,_ **

_A picture of Kurt and Blaine twirls in. It’s of the couple bundled up in winter coats and snuggling on a quilt from New Year’s. Kurt is rosy cheeked and beaming at the camera under his beanie, Blaine pressed up behind him with his arms wound around Kurt’s waist and chin hooked over his shoulder. Their sweetness could rot your teeth. Well, at least that’s what Santana had said._

**_I will be waiting, anticipating,_ **

**_That love is, it's waiting 'round the bend_ **

**_God knows I'm trying and all of my crying will not go to waste_ **

**_I see better days_ **

_Another camera phone video spins in. It’s better quality than the last one, but not by much. It shows Blaine standing on top of one of the subway waiting seats. He’s singing to an absolutely adoring looking Kurt who is loving the little display of public affection, a little army-themed teddy bear held close to his chest. More than one person has their videophones out, while others are clapping rhythmically to the impromptu song. The YouTube title read, ‘Silly Little Subway Songs’._

**_When the world gets long and you don't think you'll make it one more day_ **

**_Just turn your head and push the hate and bigotry away_ **

**_Cause I hope that, and I feel that, and I know that love will see us through_ **

**_And someday soon, soon_ **

**_You’ll see…better_ **

_The next picture that flew in was of Blaine and Kurt kissing. Blaine in his army uniform and Kurt with his hands thrown around his soldier’s neck while one hand held onto a microphone. Cooper had taken the picture because he’d never seen his brother this happy before. He felt the moment needed to be preserved. His family had done a crummy job at putting Blaine’s happiness before their own insecurities. It looks like Kurt succeeded where the Anderson family had failed._

**_I will be waiting, anticipating, (You will see the world, you'll see that)_ **

**_That love is waiting ‘round the bend (It's waiting ‘round, it's waiting ‘round)_ **

**_And God knows I'm trying, and all of my crying will not go to waste_ **

**_I see better days_ **

_A cluster of pictures began to fly across the screen. The first was of Kurt and Blaine posing in front of Niagara Falls. Pink sunglasses on their faces, mouths open in mock shock/silent screams of excitement, and their hands were being shown to the camera, the light catching on their newly acquired wedding rings._

**_Love is, yes, love is, yes, love is, it's waiting ‘round the_ **

_Second, was of a photo taken from the second wedding Kurt and Blaine had where they invited their friends and family. Blaine was putting on his best puppy dog pout while a frosting covered Kurt gave him his best attempt at a bitch glare. Half of Kurt’s hair and face was covered in frosting. The photographer felt this magical moment needed to be captured._

**_Love is, yes, love is, yes, love is, it's waiting ‘round the bend_ **

_Third, was of Kurt and Blaine in front of their new house ripping apart the ‘For Sale’ sign with overly enthusiastic expressions on their faces. They had both rented apartments before, but this was their first house. Together. As husbands. It was their home. Therefore, a ridiculously cheesy photo needed to be taken in order to commemorate such a special occasion._

**_Love is, yes, love is, yes, love is, it's waiting ‘round the_ **

_Forth, was the picture the couple had posted on their Facebook pages when they adopted Queen. Kurt and Blaine had their faces squished together happily, the tiny furry ball of scruff held under their chins. The caption for the picture had read, ‘It’s a boy!’_

**_Love is, yes, love is, yes, love is,_ **

_The last two photos were put up together side-by-side on the screen. The left picture was of Blaine’s wallet, the bi-fold open to where he kept a photo of Kurt. The blue-eyed man was looking through both his hands that were cupped in the shape of a heart while wearing his homemade shirt that read ‘I Love You Too’. The adorableness never failed to make Blaine smile. The right picture was of Kurt’s wallet, the tri-fold open to show the photo he kept of Blaine. The soldier is stubbly and hair scruffy from being slept on without any hair product. He’s in sleep clothes with a book in his lap, and a goober grin on his face so big that his eyes are crinkled at the sides. The domestic picture is one of Kurt’s favorites._

**_It's waiting ‘round the bend_ **

_The final pictures dissolve away, revealing Blaine just as the video started out. Sitting in a chair in an empty room with a guitar hanging off his shoulders. He got up and went towards the camera until only his face could be seen. “Happy Anniversary, Kurt. I love you. I miss you.” Blaine sniffs a bit, wiping at his watery eyes. “I’ll be back as soon as I can, okay? I love you. Wait…I already said that. Well, whatever. I’ll say it again. Love you, and see ya soon.”_

_Right before the video camera can shut off, Blaine turns and shouts, “Sarge—Queen! Don’t chew on Daddy’s scarves!”_

**_Video_ **

****

**_Editing_ **

****

**_Courtesy_ **

****

**_Of_ **

****

**_The_ **

****

**_Wevid_ **

****

**_Brothers_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That song was Nick Pitera's 'Better Days.' Ugh, the song is perfect. Give it a listen if you haven't heard it before (there's a music video too), helps the flashback flow. All right, I adore you peeps. Please leave a kudos, comment, and btw y'all are awesome. :)


	8. Perfect Place

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Night terrors and bald spots.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay another chapter! 50% flashback and 50% present.

 

 (Chapter 8)

 

_Or night terrors, whichever one would prefer to call them. It didn't matter what Blaine referred to them as, he just knew they were the worst part of his job. Not because combat was a walk in the park, but it made him feel as if he couldn't separate his home life from his work life. They plagued his dreams and had him waking up screaming in the middle of night on more than one occasion. The worst part was when they occurred with Kurt laying inches from him. When he slept on base, nightmares were a common occurrence. If a soldier woke up in hysterics, his bunkmates around him understood._

 

_It's no secret. Blaine Anderson has witnessed death. Pulled the trigger on firearms. Because of him, lives have been taken. But innocent lives have also been saved. Blaine has witnessed fellow soldiers die. Sergeant Anderson has experience gratification in his job, and has also cursed the day he ever enlisted. He was content with the nightmares, accepted the fact that they came with the territory, but now it just wasn't fair._

 

_It's been years since he's been deployed, years since his life has been on the line. Blaine knows he isn't in some obscure country on a foreign continent. He's in the bed he and Kurt picked out with the dark wooden frame and plum purple bed sheets. A little nostalgia they kept around from their honeymoon in Niagara Falls. They lived in Ohio, between Lima and Columbus. Blaine slept on the right side of the bed, closest to the door. He told Kurt it's because he liked sleeping away from the sun that sometimes filtered in through the curtains from their bedroom window, but really it was a safety thing._

 

_Once they started living together, Kurt noticed a lot of little things Blaine did meticulously. The soldier couldn't sleep with his back to an entryway. No matter how late it was, he could never fall asleep before Kurt. He double-checks the locks on the windows and doors before going upstairs, even if Kurt has already done so. If they had guests over, Blaine made sure to check on everybody in the middle of the night at least once (even Burt and Carole). His wardrobe was color coded, down to the very last bowtie. Out in public he likes to place one palm on the small of Kurt's back rather than link hands. These were little things, but Kurt noticed them all. Some were adorable. Some were odd. And some kind of made Kurt want to rip his hair out. Like really? Kurt doesn't need his damn socks ironed._

 

_But that was beside the point. If these habits made Blaine feel safe, or secure, or whatever their purpose served, Kurt was happy to indulge his husband in them. But nothing kept the nightmares at bay. The first time Blaine screamed in the middle of the night was the day after their Christmas dinner with the Anderson family. Maybe it was stress, maybe it was anger, but Kurt didn't ask. He just knew that his soldier was near tears and crying out in the middle of the night. Kurt was terrified. The paler male didn't know what to do, couldn't even make out the name Blaine was sobbing out. All he could think of was to reach over and gather the shouting man against him. He wrapped his arms around Blaine and kept whispering loving words to him in hopes that it would pass, that he would calm down. Kurt kissed Blaine's temple, heart ripping in two at the pain his soldier boy went through. Sometimes Kurt forgot about the toll it took on Blaine, especially when he hid it almost effortlessly._

 

_It took another ten minutes before he began to come out of it, Kurt even having suffered one or two elbows to his abdomen with the frightened man's thrashing. Blaine hiccupped, sniffling and becoming frantic when he realized someone was holding him. Though, once he realized it was Kurt, Blaine broke down in his love's arms. Kurt held onto him tighter, allowing Blaine to let it all out. The whole ordeal had Blaine feeling very vulnerable, and apologetic for making Kurt endure that. The fear the blue-eyed boy had felt had been replaced with something else, something akin to protection and worry for his hazel-eyed sergeant. Both men never spoke about what Blaine dreamed of. He couldn't bear to repeat it out loud and Kurt couldn't find it in his heart to force Blaine to relive anything that frightened him so terribly._

 

_Night terrors didn't happen often, thank goodness. Though, when they did, Kurt was always there. Sometimes it was just screaming, other times Kurt was awoken with a kick or shove from Blaine's frantic movements. However, the scariest one had been when Kurt woke up in the middle of night to the sound of something breaking downstairs. Blaine not in bed and lights still off, the taller male had been more than a little scared. He expected a burglar, Queen being nuisance, maybe even a rock through their window (again) from a disgruntled homophobe._

 

_The couple still lived Ohio, people talked._

 

_What he did find though, was Blaine being anything other than cute. Kurt had found his husband in the kitchen, some wine glasses shattered on the floor and a broken beer bottle held to his ear like a phone. The brunette was talking into it, mumbling and sleepily slurring words Kurt could only describe as orders he might give to his unit. No wonder it was so important to him the windows and doors were locked tight. Later on, the situation might actually start to seem funny. But right then, all Kurt wanted to do was cry. It took one sound, Kurt shouting Blaine's name for him to jolt out of his dream heavy sleep. Kurt spent the rest of the night cleaning the nicks on his sergeant's ear, courtesy of the pointy edges from the broken bottle. As always, Blaine was embarrassed and apologized profusely to his husband. Kurt never faltered, just always thankful that his love hadn't managed to hurt himself. Well, severely at least._

 

_So when this one happened, it only took Kurt a minute to become fully aware of Blaine thrashing next to him. The chestnut haired boy didn't even wipe the sleep from his eyes, just bypassed the clumsy limbs and cuddled up behind the soldier's jerking body. He buried his face in Blaine's neck, only slightly gasping in surprise when he received an accidental elbow to his side. "Ssh, ssh." He lightly kissed the olive-skinned neck, words of love and comfort coming out almost as if on autopilot. "Blainey, Blaine. It's okay. It's gonna be okay. M'here." Kurt reached out to grab ahold of his husband's hands, gripping them tight and bringing them towards their bodies. "Not going anywhere. Always protect you. Love you so much. Just come back to me, baby. Wake up for me."_

 

_There was never a set time for how long it took Blaine to genuinely wake up, sometimes it was seconds, minutes, almost an hour one time. Tonight, it was maybe a minute. Kurt always realizes when it happens. One moment, Blaine is twitching and yelling incoherently. The next, his body becomes rigid and the room eerily silent. He makes sure never to disturb the stillness, always waits for Blaine to unlock and melt in his arms. When he finally does, he shudders against Kurt, sniffling quietly and urging his husband to wrap his arms tighter around him. And so, Kurt does. "You shouldn't have to do this…" He whispers._

 

_Kurt only presses against him more fully, reveling in the warm skin-on-skin contact. "I want to."_

 

" _No, you don't." Blaine subtly wiped the wetness from his cheeks. "We're married. So you feel obligated."_

 

" _We weren't married the first time this happened."_

 

" _You cried."_

 

_Kurt sighed, careful as he turned Blaine over so they could talk face to face. He gave Blaine a sympathetic look when he saw teary hazel orbs, wiping the last remnants of tears from his olive cheekbones. "Yeah well, I didn't like to see you in pain. Still don't."_

 

_Blaine let out a pitiful whimper, reaching out to pull the other closer to him. Kurt sucked in a sharp breath when Blaine put pressure on his side, having forgotten the soldier had accidentally elbowed him none too gently a minute ago. Blaine quickly retracted his hand, staring guiltily at the porcelain skin. There would undoubtedly be a bruise later, and it would be his fault. Again. "Why do you keep letting me hurt you…?"_

 

" _You didn't! I—"_

 

" _DON'T Kurt." He pleaded, "Did I hit you?" Before Kurt could protest, Blaine grit out. "Don't lie to me."_

 

_He opened and closed his mouth a few times, trying to find the words, but for some reason he couldn't. Not this time. "It was…a flailing elbow. You didn't do it on purpose."_

 

_Blaine rolled away from Kurt, and sat up on the edge of the bed. "This has happened more than once, hasn't it? That first night…that wasn't the last time my night terrors harmed you." It wasn't a question._

 

_Kurt sat up then too, slowly pulling his knees to his chest under the sheets. He hated the tension he saw in Blaine's back. "Maybe it has, but they're mostly my fault. I dive headfirst into your barrage of spazzing limbs. What else can I do to help you? Because I can't just sit by and watch when you get like that."_

 

" _Why not? You should."_

 

" _Because that hurts me more than any shove or kick could."_

 

" _I've KICKED you?" The curly haired man asked incredulously._

 

" _ONE time, and it's not like you were aware of anything other than what you were dreaming of." Kurt laughed dryly, as if trying to lighten the mood. He tentatively stretched an arm out, pale fingers barely grazing a stiff shoulder. The man flinched, shrinking away from his husband's comforting touch. Kurt furrowed his brows; "You act as if you attacked me or something."_

 

" _From what you've told me, I've basically done so."_

 

" _Now you stop right there, Blaine Anderson-Hummel." This time Kurt gripped Blaine's shoulder and forced the other to look at him. "What you've done is nothing like being attacked. I'm not a victim. You would never raise a hand to me. Never." He laced olive fingers with his pale ones. "I'm safe when I'm with you. Just like you're safe when you're with me."_

 

_Blaine shook his head, "What if that day comes, and I do attack you. I'll be asleep, and hurting you. What then?"_

 

" _You could never. I…God, do you actually want me to apologize for trying to comfort you? Because I won't. I'd happily protect you from anything, even from yourself."_

 

" _This is a problem, Kurt!" He shouted, sighing in exasperation. "Didn't I basically destroy our kitchen one time?"_

 

" _I would hardly call a few broken glasses a destroyed kitchen." Kurt mumbled._

 

" _Stop making excuses for me." Blaine said sternly. "What happens when we have kids, huh? Would you even be able to trust me around them? I know I wouldn't. God, we're just lucky this hasn't happened when we've had your family or Coop over."_

 

_Blaine was waiting for Kurt to respond, staring into his glasz eyes that had gone comically wide at that point. "W-Wha?"_

 

" _Your family, Coop. I said—"_

 

" _Shut up! No, this? THIS is how you bring up wanting kids?! Are you serious right now?" Kurt screeched, not believing what he's hearing._

 

_He blinked a few times, "I-I-I…shit." Blaine scooted over on the bed, kneeling before Kurt's befuddled form. "Fuck, no, no. This isn't how I wanted to talk about this, but…yes. Yeah, someday I do want us to have a kid, or two. Whatever we decide. W-When, you know, when we're ready."_

 

_Kurt felt his lower lip trembling, and his eyes become watery. "Blaine Devon, this is not how you ask your husband to have children with you."_

 

_Blaine chuckled dryly, sticking out his lower lip to pout apologetically and adorably. "Yeah, no. Bad timing on my part, and I'm sorry, but…I do. Kurt Hummel-Anderson, I want to raise a child with you."_

 

" _Like we don't have enough trouble with our diva, Sergeant McQueen?"_

 

" _What can I say? I want it all. The house, the job, the kids, the dog, and a rockin' husband by my side." He smiled, nudging Kurt's shoulder with his own. "You-You're my perfect place, Kurt."_

 

_The paler boy stared in awe for a minute, heart fluttering in his chest at his wistful reference, before confessing softly. "I've…actually never given much thought to kids."_

 

" _Well, maybe we should start thinking about it, and talking about it."_

 

_Kurt pursed his lips together, "You want to talk about kids, and yet, you can't even talk to me about your nightmares."_

 

_The soldier's smile vanished, "My nightmares aren't something I want to discuss. It's bad enough I have to carry them around inside my head. Forcing them on you wouldn't help either one of us."_

 

" _Is that so?" He let out a long breath, "Well, the least you can do is tell me what's causing the night terrors."_

 

" _Huh?"_

 

" _Don't play dumb. Whenever these horrible nightmares act up, it's because they've told you something big at your job. So…what is it?" Kurt stated bluntly, raising an eyebrow when it looked like Blaine was going to try and deny it._

 

_Blaine huffed out a breath through his nose, knowing that his husband had him cornered. "It's a mission. They've a-asked me to go on a mission."_

 

_There were several beats of silence between them. Blaine not being able to look him in the eye for fear of his inevitable freak out, and Kurt staring at the side of Blaine's face while he processed the words his husband just spoke. "A mission. Like, active duty? Overseas?" he breathed._

 

" _Essentially."_

 

" _And do you…w-what do you want to do?"_

 

" _I…I'm not sure. I told my Sergeant Major I'd think about it before giving a definite yes or no."_

 

_Another beat of silence, shorter than the last, but a lot heavier. "You're waiting for an answer."_

 

" _I…what?"_

 

_Kurt's jaw ticked, "You're waiting for me to either give you permission, or tell you that you can't go."_

 

" _Uh…"_

 

" _I'm not gonna do that."_

 

" _Oh…kay?"_

 

" _Look, I can't tell you whether or not to do this. It's not my place. What I can do is support you in whatever decision you make." Kurt's eyes started to water again, and he hugged his legs closer to sniffle into them. "It's all I can do, right?"_

 

" _Baby," Blaine snuggled closer, wrapping his arms around his husband. "If you don't want me to go—"_

 

" _You're not hearing me. What I'm trying to say is…do YOU want to go?"_

 

_Hazel eyes blinked owlishly, "And leave you? No, NO. I'd never want that."_

 

_Kurt unwrapped himself from his makeshift ball of pity, "If I wasn't a variable, would you go?"_

 

" _But, you are—"_

 

" _Blaine." He said softly, really not trying to start an argument. "Just tell me the truth. Would you say yes, if it wasn't for us?"_

 

" _Without question." Blaine said flatly, deflating and siting down right by his husband. Both were sort of staring at the comforter in front of them instead of each other. "I'm REALLY close to becoming a Sergeant Major. Like, a couple years close."_

 

_Kurt let out a dry laugh, "What you've been working for all this time." He turned to Blaine, forcing a smile even as tears gathered in the corners of his eyes. "You wrote me when you became Staff Sergeant. I was there when you earned Sergeant First Class, Master Sergeant, and now you'll be Sergeant Major. I couldn't happier, or more proud of you."_

 

_Blaine was confused. Kurt was telling him how happy he was for him, and yet, it looked as if he wanted to cry right then and there. "Then why do you look so sad?"_

 

" _Because I'm going to miss you like crazy." Kurt crawled into Blaine's lap, hugging him tightly. The soldier embraced the slender male, wrapping his arms around him to hug the man to his body fiercely. The two lovers stayed that way for a comfortable length of time, both content to be in each others arms as the two came to terms with the next step they were about to take in their lives._

 

" _I'm gonna see a psychiatrist."_

 

_Kurt nearly fell off his lap when he jerked back. "What? I never asked—"_

 

" _I know," he cut off. "But I want to do this. For you, for us, and for myself." Blaine only smiled softly at Kurt's shocked expression. "You say you're fine whenever one of my…episodes…happen, but I know deep down they scare you. They scare me too. It's not fair that you have to endure it when I experience them. This is no way to live, Kurt. Especially now that yes, you are a variable in my life, my most important variable actually. And I wouldn't have it any other way. So thank you for being the most amazing understanding husband I could ask for and calming me down during my not so coherent moments, but I'm not going to let this control us anymore."_

 

" _My Gaga, I love you so much." He leant forward and gave his soldier a sweet peck, smiling uncontrollably as their noses bumped._

 

_Blaine chuckled breathily, reciprocating his husband's kisses. "Your friend Quinn is a doctor now, right? Think she could recommend someone?"_

 

_Kurt nodded, rubbing his hands up and down his soldier's bare chest. "Think I can give her a call." The taller male pushed against the other's torso until he was lying on his back, lap still full of Kurt. "Just promise to come back to me, like you always do." He kissed his way down Blaine's neck._

 

" _A-Always." He gasped._

 

" _Then we'll spend an OBSCENE amount of time together, ya know, before my brave sergeant has to go off and be a hero to people other than me." Kurt continued his descent downwards, determined to kiss every inch of peck and abdomen._

 

" _Oh God, yes. Yes, of course." Blaine watched, transfixed as chestnut brown hair went lower and lower. "Whatever you want…"_

 

" _And Blaine?" He looked up devilishly, resting his cheek on one of Blaine's abs. "I know I changed the subject earlier but, I think we can do it."_

 

" _It?"_

 

_Porcelain cheeks turned pink, embarrassment coloring his features for a reason Blaine wasn't really too sure about. "Have a baby, silly."_

 

_All traces of arousal left Blaine that instant. Well, not so much as left as was put on the backburner for now. "Are you serious?"_

 

_Again, his cheeks colored. "Yeah, I may not have ever really thought about it intently, but with you? I don't know. You always seem to know me better than I know myself. If you seriously believe we can, then why not right? If anything the kid will have you for a father, and I think that's pretty terrific already."_

 

_Blaine effortlessly yanked Kurt back up, pressing their lips together and kissing him fervently. "I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you."_

 

_Kurt giggled against Blaine's lips, shuddering unexpectantly when his husband pried their lips open. He squeaked when Blaine rolled them over, pressing him into the purple pillows and sheets. "Blaine…" Kurt keened, wriggling his hips unhelpfully when Blaine tried to slip the sleep pants off his alabaster hips. "We can't. Not with Queen still in the ROOM."_

 

" _What the…is he still freaking asleep?!" He asked disbelievingly, looking over at the massive Akita sleeping on his Chewy Vuitton doggie bed in the corner. Lower half propped up by the bed and upper body flopped out on the floor, teeth still clamped around his favorite Christian Loubarkin squeaky high-heel shoe plushie. What? Queen had an online shopping problem. Don't act so surprised. "That dog is lazy and useless why did we decide to keep him again?"_

 

_Kurt smacked Blaine's arm, "Be nice to my baby! He may not be the sharpest, but he's mine and I love him." He whistled over at Queen, who jerked his head up immediately. He yawned exaggeratedly, dropping the shoe plushie from his mouth. The full-grown dog trotted over to their bed, jumping on it and worming his way between Kurt and Blaine. Effectively pushing Blaine to the other side of the bed, while Queen snuffled and snuggled next to one of his owners. "Aww there's my big boy." Queen yawned again and stretched happily, pushing Blaine a little furtherer away. He licked Kurt's cheek before blinking up at him with his big dark eyes._

 

_Blaine glared, "Cock-block."_

 

_Kurt laughed, sitting up to kiss his pouting husband's cheek and scratch behind Queen's ears. "All right you two. Since everybody's up, might as well have an early breakfast." He swung his legs over one side of the bed, getting up and padding over towards the hallway._

 

" _Oh! Oh! Kurt! Kurtie! Baby! Funny face chocolate chip pancakes! Funny face chocolate chip pancakes! Please, please! Pretty pu-lease!" Blaine begged, hopping out of bed and bouncing gleefully after his husband. Queen barked excitedly and followed after them, having learned that no matter what time they got out of bed, food was soon to come once they've gone downstairs._

 

* * *

 

 

_Kurt rolled his eyes affectionately as he made his way down the stairs. "I'm married to a five year old."_

 

Blaine poked his head in once the nurse was done prepping Kurt, smiling at his scowling husband. "What's with the long face, beautiful?"

 

Kurt huffed and turned to hide the left side of his head. "I'm hideous, go away."

 

He chuckled, strutting over and half sitting on the bed. "Well, 'scuse my French, but I call bullshit."

 

"Wanna bet?"

 

"Kurt, just stop being a baby. You could have an extra head and I'd still love the fuck out of you."

 

"Fine." Kurt turned around and revealed the shaved portion of his head, pouting cutely when his soldier started snickering. "I'm going into surgery! You're supposed to me nice to me!" He smacked Blaine's arm. "Meanie. I demand sympathy."

 

Blaine muffled his giggles, reaching over to huggle his grumbling love. "Aww, sweetheart. This is what you're all bent outta shape about?"

 

"I've been maimed. My well cared for locks have been horribly disfigured."

 

"Kurt, this? This is nothing." He gently grabbed Kurt's chin and turned his head sideways so he could get a better look at the portion of hair that has been shaved. Soft lips pressed against the newly shaven skin, making the blue eyed man gasp at the pleasantness. After he pulled back, he pecked Kurt's forehead. Completely undeterred by the adorable little bald spot his husband now sported. "Its just hair. It'll grow back."

 

"I-I know. It's just…I didn't want the last time you see me be with a missing patch of hair." Kurt frowned.

 

"First off, it's not the LAST time I'll be seeing you." Blaine rubbed his nose against Kurt's, his chest rumbling with laughter when the paler man wrinkled his own nose at the action. "Second, the only thing I'll be thinking of is my extraordinary husband, fighting for his life while they remove that pesky tumor causing trouble for his temporal lobe. Or was it frontal lobe…shit."

 

Kurt giggled. "You've been talking to Quinn."

 

"Guilty. I've also visited the waiting room…" He trailed off, smiling empathetically when Kurt groaned. "Now, now. It's really not as bad as you're thinking."

 

"Really? So they all don't hate me and aren't avoiding my room like the plague for fear that I might verbally attack them again?"

 

"Well, it's almost time for you to be wheeled off to surgery. So…really all of them crowding your room with their worry when you're about to be taken in is kind of unhelpful I'm guessing." Blaine shrugged. Boy had an answer for everything. "But, we'll have to pass the waiting room before heading to the O.R., where they'll be waiting. And that's not just a guess. They love you. We all love you. A little thing like a sharper tongue than usual isn't going to drive them away from you that easily."

 

Kurt blinked up at Blaine, looking more scared and childlike in that moment than he has in years. "We?" He asked meekly, hopefully.

 

The sergeant genuinely smiled them, ignoring the opening of Kurt's hospital room sliding door in favor of kissing his husband on the lips. "We. I'm going to be with you until the last possible second Kurt Elizabeth." He confirmed, standing up when the nurse began raising the bars on Kurt's bed.

 

"Are you ready, Mr. Hummel?"

 

"Hu-Hummel-Anderson, please."

 

"Of course. Are you ready, Mr. Hummel-Anderson?" The nurse he didn't recognize asked politely.

 

"I…I…I-I don't. Bl-Blaine? Can I do this? I don't think I can do this. I can't. I really can't." Kurt pleaded, on the verge of tears. "M'scared. Don't make me. Please, please, don't make me." The blue-eyed boy started shaking, almost hoping his husband would tell him that he really didn't have to.

 

"Hey, hey." Blaine cooed, gripping Kurt's hand and leaning over one of the rails. He swept chestnut hair away from Kurt's flawless forehead with the hand that wasn't clasped in the other's, brushing his lips against his love's temple. "Come What May," Sergeant Anderson whispered.

 

Kurt stilled in his panic, glasz fixed on hazel when those three words were spoken. "What did you say?"

 

"Mr. Hummel? Mr. Hummel-Anderson? Are you sure you're ready to proceed?" The nurse cautiously went around the bed, trying to be as non-threatening as possible as she prepared it to be rolled down the hallway.

 

"You remember, don't you? The song we had playing as you walked down the aisle when it was just us? The one we danced to a year later at our belated grandeur wedding/reception for our friends and family?" Blaine inquired, watching as recognition and emotion gathered in his beloved's eyes.

 

"Moulin Rouge." He said, barely above a whisper. "It's our movie…o-our song."

 

His soldier nodded, "No matter what happens, no matter how bad things get, whenever you hear it or when you sing it or whistle it or hum it, then you'll know it'll mean we love one another." Blaine quoted perfectly, giving Kurt's hand a reassuring squeeze.

 

Kurt knew what was coming.

 

He really did.

 

But he still teared up.

 

**Never knew I could feel like this**

**Like I've never seen the sky before**

**Want to vanish inside your kiss**

**Everyday I love you more and more**

 

Blaine's gaze flickered away for a moment, nodding at the nurse, letting her know Kurt was okay, that he was ready.

 

**Listen to my heart, can you hear it sing?**

**Telling me to give you everything**

**Seasons may change…Winter to Spring**

**But I love you until the end of time**

 

He brought Kurt's soft hand to his lips, sweetly kissing it. The next few lyrics were whispered out against the pale hand, the warm puffs of air on his skin giving Kurt goose bumps.

 

**Come what may**

**Come what may**

**I will love you**

**Until my dying day**

 

Blaine gave Kurt a brilliant smile, the breathtaking one he always gave when they were about to sing together.

 

Then the bed started rolling.

 

**_*Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place*_ **

**_*Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace*_ **

**_*Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste*_ **

**_*It all revolves around you*_ **

 

The soldier tapped Kurt's nose affectionately, warmth settling in his chest when an adorable giggle escaped the pale man's lips. His glasz eyes gazed up at Blaine adoringly, nothing but absolute love reflected within them.

 

Kurt was comfortably settled against the pillows, eyes becoming droopy, but fixed on his husband. He smiled lazily at Blaine, singing softly along with him. Because this was THEM, this was their song.

 

**_*And there's no mountain too high, no river too wide*_ **

**_*Sing out this song and I'll be there by your side*_ **

**_*Storm clouds may gather and stars may collide*_ **

 

The bed came to a stop next to the waiting room; everyone he had snapped at earlier was there, just like Blaine has said. Queen was whining next to Carole and Burt, jumping to try and get near his human. The Andersons were there, Sharon still trying to dab at her eyes. Her husband had his arm around her, and Cooper looked like he was actually trying to comfort his mother with the way he was squeezing one of her shoulders. Surprisingly, Rachel was indeed still there. Even more surprising, she was wrapped up in Finn's arms.

He only looked over at them when Blaine gestured for him to do so. "This is my stop, babe." The sergeant had said simply.

 

Kurt blinked up at everyone, somehow finding it in him to wave with his free hand, almost sheepishly, apologetically.

 

Burt just patted Kurt' shoulder, letting him know that he was okay, that everyone was okay. It must have been enough, because then Kurt gave them all a smile, a real genuine happy smile. One they hadn't seen in weeks.

 

He turned back to his husband, squeezing their hands together tightly. Because it was time now, time for them to let go.

 

**_But I love you_ **

**I love you**

**_Until the end_ **

**Until the end**

**_*Of time*_ **

 

The bed started rolling again, the women in the group chocking on their own sobs and the men trying to stay strong. Blaine's body didn't move to keep up with Kurt, but he outstretched his hand to keep physical contact for as long as possible.

 

**_*Come what may*_ **

 

The boys felt every warm drag of skin against one another, Kurt doing the same to hang on for as long as he could. Until it finally happened, their last exchange, the touch of their fingertips.

 

**_*Come what may*_ **

 

Blaine didn't even try to hide the tears as they dripped down his cheeks. He kept his arm reaching for his love, and kept singing, even as the double doors closed after Kurt disappeared through them.

 

**_*I will love you*_ **

 

Kurt didn't know how, but he could still hear him. He could hear the last of their song, which was why his lips kept moving too, finishing the last of their duet. His hand was limp against the pillow, still facing the direction where he had been detached from his other half.

 

**_*I will love you*_ **

 

Sergeant Anderson looked over at his and Kurt's joined families, acknowledging each and every one of them, even his estranged parents. "Thank you."

 

Kurt felt as if he was in limbo for the duration of his trip to the O.R. He kept his eyes closed and rested contently against the pillows, feeling pretty okay for the first time in a long while. Once he was in the O.R., a doctor or a scrub nurse of some sort was speaking to him, letting him know they were ready. Someone put an anesthesia mask on his face, told him to count backwards from one hundred. Of course, like many others, he only made it to ninety-seven. And just like that, he drifted off to sleep.

 

There's just one thing.

 

Asystoles are a bitch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Google 'asystole' if you're not too sure what it is.
> 
> And come on, guys...COME ON. You know this. Come What May. Moulin Rouge. Need I say more? Also, Chewy Vuitton and Christian Loubarkin are legit products. Not even joking. They're all cute and way out of my price range. Till next time! Kudos? Comment maybe?


	9. Tell Me You Remember

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Memories are precious to anyone, dead or alive."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, you read correctly. There is now character death in this story. I'm so sorry. It was always my intention for this to happen.
> 
> *WARNING* MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH. Triggers for deployment, death of a loved one, strong language, mentions of mental instability and talk of life after death.
> 
> Again, no beta. All mistakes are my own.
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing, nothing, nothing. No profit made etc. See Chapter 1 for more elaborate disclaimer.

(Chapter 9)

 

Kurt doesn't remember opening his eyes. All he's aware of is the pristine white ceiling he's staring at. He's too afraid to look around, to even blink. Can he move? Can he speak?

 

"Kurt?"

 

Without even thinking about it, Kurt shifts his glasz eyes towards the sound of his name being called. Neck twisting slightly as the bed dipped next to him, seeing the one who said his name.

 

"Oh, baby. You're all right. You're okay." He ran his hand through Kurt's hair, sure fingers threading through his delicate locks. Kurt could feel him, the unquestionable weight against his head, and it was wonderful, it was amazing. "Please, Kurt. Please say something."

 

Soft lips pressed against his forehead, the protective palm cradling the side of his head, and dark curls brushing against Kurt's face as the other rubbed their noses together affectionately. "B-Blaine?"

 

Blaine laughed a bit, the corners of his hazel eyes growing wet at how emotional he was feeling. So he just settled for nodding, and pressed his lips against Kurt's slightly dry ones. At least they were warm. At least they were responsive. "Oh, thank you. Thank you thank you thank you."

 

His fingers twitched at his sides, flexing and stretching with the urge to feel and touch. Because he still COULD. "What's going on? What happened?"

 

The soldier cleared his throat, sliding down so he was on the bed lying on his side, looking down at his husband. His hand was still cupping Kurt's cheek, tracing the alabaster skin. "What do you remember?"

 

Kurt furrowed his brows, glancing up and searching hazel eyes for an explanation. "I…I'm not sure." He swallowed thickly, racking his brain for the right answer. "I'm-I'm in a hospital."

 

"Yes, yes you are."

 

He pressed his palms against the bed, pushing into a sit-up position so he could look more. Kurt only managed about halfway up, before his husband was helping prop himself up against the pillows. "Thank you." Glasz eyes looked around the room, the interior of the room just causing Kurt to become even more confused. "There's nothing here. Not even another chair. Blaine, where is everyone else?"

 

Blaine smiled softly, brushing a stray strand of chestnut hair away from Kurt's forehead. "Waiting for you to wake up."

 

"Well, I'm awake. I want them in here now." He looked towards the sliding door, only to find the privacy curtains drawn.

 

"I don't think you're allowed more than one or two visitors. Hospital policy and all that."

 

"I don't give a damn about hospital policy." Kurt made a frustrated sound, pouting at Blaine and making to get out of the bed so he could tell the nurse's station himself that his family was certainly allowed in. But then, he noticed something, something off. He stared at his hands gripping the hospital blankets, his flawless non-IV pricked hands. Kurt fiddled with both his hands, tracing and feeling for any needle prick he could find. Nothing.

 

"Hey, you okay?" Blaine grasped his frantically searching fingers, steadying them and rubbing them gently.

 

"Blaine, something's wrong." The blue eyed man ripped his hands away and started feeling around his bed, looking for that clippy thing that was always clamped onto his finger or a detached IV. When he found nothing, he eyed both sides of his bed, feeling more panicky by the second when he didn't spot an IV bag or that machine that beeped along with his heart.

 

"Whoa, whoa. Honey, you have to calm down here."

 

"No, no I can't calm down!" He ran his fingers all through his hair, fighting the urge to grip and rip. "Don't you see? This isn't right." Then he felt it, that spot right behind his ear. It was like a jolt, a violent flash of déjà vu. "Oh God…"

 

"What?"

 

"Oh God…Oh God," Kurt kept rubbing that spot behind his ear, the one that was supposed to have been shaved. It wasn't. "What is happening? What is happening to me!" He pressed his hands over his face, refusing to acknowledge the one explanation that kept revisiting his brain over and over again.

 

"Kurt, please." Blaine guided his husband's face back towards him, urging him to lower his hands. "Don't hide from me. Come on, baby, look at me."

 

It was only with Blaine's patient insistence that Kurt allowed his husband to reveal his face, sniffling pathetically as he felt like bursting into tears at any moment. He looked to Blaine with his glassy glasz eyes, "Am I dead? Is this me…dead?"

 

All Blaine could do was give him a sympathetic expression, lovingly rubbing his thumbs under Kurt's eyes to stop any droplets from spilling out. "You still don't remember, do you?"

 

"Remember? Really? You still want me to remember things that don't fucking matter anymore?!"

 

"Who says they don't matter?"

 

"I do! What's the point of a memory to a dead person!?" Kurt was breathing heavily now, hyperventilating with the notion that this was it. He's reached his end.

 

"Memories are precious to anyone, dead or alive."

 

He still felt like he couldn't get enough air, but the bizarreness of that statement distracted him a bit. "W-What?"

 

"Because in the end, it's the only thing we have left. The only thing that we can hold onto, that we can take with us."

 

"I don't understand." Kurt breathed.

 

"That's because you don't REMEMBER. You have to try to remember." Blaine pushed, placing a palm over Kurt's fist, the one gripping the sheets white-knuckle tight.

 

"I don't know how." He was shaking now. Kurt didn't know what Blaine wanted, how to recall something his mind didn't freely give him. "Can't you just tell me?"

 

"No, I can't. That wouldn't do you any good." Blaine got on knees, kneeling in front of Kurt who was sitting cross-legged on the bed. When the paler man downcast his eyes, his husband caught his chin before he could fully look away, a half-smirk on his lips. "But I can help you."

 

"I don't—"

 

Blaine cut off any more protests, kissing his husband desperately and passionately. Kurt only made a half-noise of confusion before giving in to the soldier, letting the other cup the back of his head and angle their mouths this way and that. The blue eyed male didn't even flinch when calloused fingers grazed against the supposedly shaven portion of his hair. Instead he reciprocated, pressing forward almost immediately, the plunder and frenzy of their kisses making Kurt's mind settle, and his frantic heart rate slow down. 'Dirty' wasn't the point of the kiss, it was the love Blaine tried to portray in it's depth. When they finally pulled away, Blaine pressed their foreheads together, pecking Kurt's nose cutely while he tried to catch his breath. "Are your eyes closed?"

 

"Uhuh."

 

"Keep them closed for me?"

 

"Kay…" He didn't know where Blaine was going with this little experiment, but he knew him well enough to know that the sergeant was only trying to help him. Kurt took one more steadying breath, taking comfort in the thumb rubbing soothing circles just below his ear. He trusted Blaine.

 

He would always trust Blaine.

 

**Do you remember**

**Flying high above the waves?**

**Past a dozen amber moons**

**To an island of lagoons**

**With magic shores and endless caves?**

 

"Peter Pan?" Kurt laughed breathlessly, already feeling his eyes water. "My favorite."

 

**Do you remember**

**How the sun would stain the sand?**

**How still the time would stay**

**Golden arrows point the way**

**To that close but far off land**

 

"Just think to before."

 

"Listen to the sound of my voice."

 

"And let it come back to you."

 

**Tell me you remember**

 

Kurt nodded obediently, leaning his forehead forward a bit further to rest more of his weight against his husband's. "I'm scared."

 

**Tell me you remember**

 

Blaine moved his free hand to grip one of Kurt's, squeezing it reassuringly. "There's no need. Not when your soldier boy is right here, right beside you."

 

**Do you remember**

**A pirate's hand of steel?**

**How one day you learned to trust**

**That a pinch of fairy dust**

**Isn't make believe**

**It's real**

 

"My soldier boy…"

 

**Tell me you remember**

 

Remembering isn't like a switch. It doesn't just start to happen because you've decided that you want it to. It's gradual, and steady, a stream of recollection. But once you've allowed it to come forth, there's no choosing which memory is being withdrawn.

 

**Tell me you remember**

 

The memories were slow, unhurriedly bleeding through his consciousness. It was the emotions Kurt felt first, a crippling sensation that nearly had him collapsing against Blaine.

 

**Your ears have tiny holes now**

**There are lines upon your cheek**

**You take longer than you used to**

**Before you choose to speak**

 

But Blaine was there to catch him, steadying him so he could look into those glasz orbs that he adored.

 

**Do you still bite your lip**

**Whenever you feel nervous?**

**And you twist your hair**

**When you don't know what else to do**

 

Kurt covered his mouth with his hand, muffling the sobs that burned in his chest. It hurt. He still didn't know what it was, but it hurt.

 

**I remember that**

**I remember you**

 

Blaine didn't hide his own tears this time, letting them slide down his cheeks as he watched his husband unravel before him.

 

**I remember you**

**You**

 

"No,” Kurt barely gasped out. “I can't."

 

**Do you remember**

**When at last I stole your kiss?**

**Many children come and go**

**I forget them once they grow old**

**You're the only one I miss**

 

He stared at his soldier through his misty eyes, taking in every curl and every unique quirk. In that moment, he realized something.

 

Kurt never truly forgot.

 

**Close your eyes and see**

**Somehow remember**

**Remember me**

 

Flashes of memories flickered before him. His first collapse at the University, waking up in a hospital bed, test after test searching for who knows what for months on end, the first time he threw his bedpan at Finn, and everything else in between. There were a lot of little memories he became aware of once again, but he knew which one Blaine meant. "You're asking me to remember the worst day of my life…"

 

"So you're saying you remember?"

 

"I'm saying I never forgot."

 

"Well, now I'm the one who doesn't understand."

 

Kurt's lower lip trembled, hitching breaths coming from him as he began. "Kurt Hummel-Anderson, it is with our deepest regret that we have to inform you—"

 

Blaine frowned, "What are you doing?"

 

"Sshh." Kurt quieted him. "—that your husband, Sergeant Anderson, was a victim of an IED."

 

"Kurt…"

 

"No, you wanted me to remember. So I am!" he shouted. "Two army guys showed up in my hospital room, told me you…you were KILLED IN ACTION. Why would I want to remember that!?"

 

"Because denying it won't make it any less true."

 

"And accepting it doesn't make me feel any less crazy!" When Blaine looked confused, Kurt pressed on. "You've been dead this ENTIRE time. That means I haven't really seen you, touched you, talked to you…it also means you broke your promise." He finished softly.

 

That hurt on a whole other level for Blaine. "That's not fair."

 

"Nothing about this is fair!" Kurt cried. "You promised that you would always come back to me, no matter what, and you didn't. So excuse me for not wanting to go through my day knowing that my soldier boy can never come home to me."

 

"I'm sorry…"

 

"Don't." The emotional man gasped out, speaking through hitching breaths as he couldn't control his sobs anymore. "Don't be sorry. Ju-Just tell me. Am I…am I dead?"

 

"Kurt…"

 

Kurt actually snorted, a pathetic sounding one that got caught on a cry. "Because right now, this, this shouldn't be possible. The only way this is happening is if I bit it on the operating table. Or, and I can't decide if this option is better or worse, I really have lost my mind. I was so overwhelmed by grief that I finally cracked, and the minute I wake up there will be a padded room waiting for me."

 

Blaine chuckled, a deep and wholehearted one that warmed Kurt from his toes to the tips of his ears. "I can't tell you what to believe. We've never had the same views on things such as that."

 

"You're not helping."

 

The solider gave him an empathetic look, reaching a hand out to his husband. "Let me hold you?"

 

He sniffed, "Why?"

 

"Because I'm not ready to leave you."

 

Kurt made a pained noise, letting the other maneuver them until they were lying on their sides, facing each other with one of Blaine's arms hugging Kurt's body close. "Why is this happening? Why did you even come back if you were…you know."

 

Blaine smirked a bit, "Because you asked me to." Kurt's eyes bugged out, prompting the soldier to chuckle and explain. "You were calling for me, everyday. I could hear you, pleading for me, wanting me here." He grabbed one of Kurt's hands and placed it over his heart. "I could feel how sad you were when I wasn't there, how disappointed. It kills me on the inside knowing I can never keep the most important promise I made to you, but I can't find myself to be angry. I wouldn't change what we had for anything in the world. I love you, so much, and I'm glad I got to tell you that, to be there when you needed me one last time."

 

Kurt squeezed his eyes shut, leaning forward to bury his head against Blaine's chest. He snuggled closer to his lover, only letting out gasping breaths when tanned arms wrapped around him tightly. The paler male slid a hand up, placing it over the area where his tears had began dampening the shirt. "But I can still feel you though. Your skin is still warm, your heart is beating under my palm, and I can even smell you, that obnoxious scent of aftershave and a hint of hair gel. It's my favorite smell in the world. Why? Why can I smell you?"

 

The soldier shook his head, kissing Kurt's hair as he cuddled him closer. "All I know is that I was here for you. I needed to be here for you." He whispered.

 

"Do-Do you know? H-H-How long w-we have?" The blue-eyed man stuttered out, his jaw trembling with his efforts.

 

Again, he shook his head. "No, but I don't want to waste a second of what I have left with you."

 

Kurt nodded, kissing over Blaine's heart when he found the strength. "Sergeant Anderson, Blaine Hummel-Anderson. I love you, more than anything in this world, I do. You are a wondrous man, and I'm so happy I got to love a soldier like you."

 

Blaine closed his eyes, chest tightening at his husband's words. "I'm pretty un-extraordinary actually, it was only with you that I felt like I could be more than what my family expected. I don't know what good I did to deserve you, but I can never express how grateful I am to have had you in my life. You made me better just by being near me."

 

"Are you saying goodbye?"

 

"I…"

 

"Because I don't want to say goodbye."

 

The hazel-eyed soldier nodded, at this point willing to give his husband whatever he wanted. He cleared his throat, blinking back what few tears hadn't slipped down his cheeks. "What would you rather do? What would you…rather say?"

 

"Can I know what happened? When that…DI, is that what I said?"

 

"IED?"

 

"Yeah, they wouldn't tell me much, or if they tried, I was too distraught to actually listen. But I think I deserve to know how it happened."

 

Blaine sighed, "Are you sure you want to know? I don't want to cause you more pain."

 

"My husband died overseas, by himself, a million miles away from me where I couldn't do a thing to help him. I'm already in pain…" He deadpanned.

 

The soldier conceded, taking a small breath before saying what happened. "I don't remember a play by play exactly. But I will tell you, the place it happened doesn't matter."

 

"But…"

 

"No, just trust me when I say that the acts of a few bad people doesn't mean one persecutes an entire country or civilization. It's what I have learned, and what I hope you understand, okay?"

 

"…all right."

 

"Good, good. Well, in all honestly I didn't find out it was an IED until you told me. I just knew I heard an explosion. I was talking with Jeremiah, when we heard it. Some of the soldiers took cover, but I ran towards it. When I rounded a corner, I saw that the supplies truck was overturned. There were people in there, there was medical supplies the soldiers at the post needed, and…the truck was still burning." Blaine trailed off, not sure what to expect from Kurt.

 

"Don't stop," Kurt grit out. "I said I wanted to know."

 

Blaine rubbed a hand up and down Kurt's back, trying to soothe him when his whole body tensed. "I didn't think about anything, other than I needed to help. It was stupid, reckless, and a smart person probably wouldn't have."

 

"But you did…"

 

"Yeah, but I did."

 

"Did anyone else at least try to help too?" The paler boy narrowed his eyes, hoping Blaine wasn't going solo.

 

"I can't remember, not clearly. I think Jeremiah ran with me to help, and a couple others too. I'm not sure." Blaine furrowed his brows, "It was just…all touch and go. No time to look around or hesitate. Just act."

 

"But what about Wes, and David, and Santana?"

 

"They weren't in my unit. It was just Jeremiah. We searched for survivors, salvageable supplies, and then…it's a bit hazy. I remember feelings more than anything. It was hot, burning hot, and there was pain. Then, suddenly there wasn't anything." Blaine tried.

 

"You don't remember anything else?" Kurt asked.

 

"No, I really don't."

 

Kurt considered that for a moment, and then curled his fingers over his husband's rib cage. "I'm glad. That shouldn't be your last memory anyway."

 

Despite himself, Blaine smiled. "One fatal memory can not erase the lifetime of happiness I had with you…I'm just sorry I couldn't finish it by your side."

 

His pale neck craned back, a fond expression on his face. "I love you. If nothing else, at least remember that, and take it with you."

 

"Couldn't forget that little tidbit if I tried. That fact alone has gotten me through some tough situations." He admitted.

 

Kurt refused to start sobbing again, but it was almost impossible to keep left over tears from spilling over. He didn't want to spend his last moments with his husband crying. "Tell me one." The blue-eyed man rushed out.

 

"One what?"

 

"A memory, a memory of us. One of your favorites, it can be sweet, funny, or kinky I don't care." He chuckled brokenly.

 

"Any memory with you is my favorite."

 

He could practically hear Blaine's smirk, so he slapped the soldier's abdomen. "There's another memory of me calling you a cheesy sap to add to your list."

 

"I cherish them deeply."

 

Kurt couldn't decide if he wanted to laugh or cry. He as going to miss this ridiculous back and forth him and Blaine always seem to get themselves into. "Honey, please?"

 

Blaine laid his head back against the pillow, thinking of a good one to share. "I'm not trying to be sappy when I say that they all LITERALLY mean something special to me. Even the smallest ones, the sillier ones, which is all that's coming to mind at the moment, damn."

 

"It's fine. Tell me."

 

"Are you sure you don't want me to think of a more romantical one?"

 

His husband snorted, "Romantical?"

 

"A memory of epically romantic proportions."

 

He giggled, Kurt always giggled when Blaine talked utter gooberness. "Blaine Devon, any memory you tell me can never be too small, or too silly. I really, really want to hear it."

 

"You promise?"

 

"I promise."

 

* * *

 

 

_The first time Kurt and Blaine were able to be intimate was the night Blaine first arrived home to his boyfriend waiting for him, and with a big obnoxious—but appreciated—sign to boot. Well, they hadn't officially said they were together per se, but the recently coming home soldier was determined to make that distinction very clear. However, before Blaine could even try to make an attempt at that conversation, Kurt was on him. The two hadn't even made it past the aspiring fashion designer's living room. The taller male had damn near knocked his soldier's bags out of his hands before he kissed him._

 

_Blaine was exhausted, bone-tired even, but once those petal soft lips pressed against his, he was a goner. The soldier was almost invigorated by the kisses, even finding it within himself to grab a hold of Kurt's legs and hike them up around his waist so the lither male had to cling to him. Kurt wrapped his arms around his neck, carding his fingers into the sergeant's curls, knocking off his army cap._

 

_The walk to find Kurt's bedroom was interesting, the paler man's back having been knocked into a couple of corners and Blaine panting out embarrassed apologies. The two were giggling like schoolboys once they collapsed onto Kurt's bed, noses knocking and huffs of laughter being blown against each other's lips. It was strange, and awkward, and silly, but they kind of liked it that way._

 

" _You sure bout this?" Blaine had asked, needing to make sure._

 

_Kurt huffed at him, "I was sure even before you left, but because of my own senseless freak out, I kind of nipped that in the butt, didn't I?"_

 

" _It was my faul—"_

 

_He cut him off with an open-mouthed kiss before murmuring against him. "Sergeant Anderson, I have waited three hundred and sixty five days to get you into my bed. You make me wait a second longer, we're gonna have a problem. Understand, soldier boy?"_

 

_Blaine's lips curved into a smile, "Soldier boy?"_

 

" _TAKE OFF YOUR PANTS!"_

 

_And he did, being sure to add an enthusiastic 'yes, sir!' just to see the gorgeous man below him roll his unique glasz eyes in response. The salute was probably overkill, but it made the two of them smile. What they both experienced that night was nothing short of amazing. Blaine made sure to catalogue every pleasurable noise, memorizing each of Kurt's gasps and whimpers for future reference. He touched every exposed patch of alabaster skin with his fingers and lips, gripping and tasting because the teasing memory of this body has been driving him crazy for the better part of a year. It was hot, and slick, felt fucking phenomenal, but more importantly, it MEANT something._

 

_It had been dark, their only source of light coming from the hall Kurt had left on, but they were still able to make out each other's profiles. Blaine went slow, always checking to make sure Kurt was comfortable, and caressed him in a way that made the paler man pull him in tighter, closer, never wanting to let go. Kurt was not a virgin by any means, but the way his soldier touched him, moved with him, it was the physical embodiment of love. All Kurt could do to ground himself was fist the sheets beneath him, or occasionally the rails of his headboard, and throw his head back as he rode out wave after wave of their pleasurable exchange._

 

_Needless to say, Kurt was sure glad he told Rachel to stay somewhere else for the night. Because one wall wouldn't have been enough to drown out the lovers' combined sounds of gratification. Afterwards, the spark was still there. Blaine didn't want to sneak out of the apartment like he had grown accustomed to doing so many times before, having never seen the point of starting something long term when he was prone to trips overseas for years at a time. But with Kurt, with Kurt he wanted. He wanted very much._

 

_The two slept soundly the rest of the night, waking up with the sun only for there to be a repeat performance in the hours before Rachel was due back at the apartment. Blaine had never taken been taken care of like that. He never knew he could be on the receiving end of such caring ministrations. It's everything he never knew he wanted. Kurt is everything he wanted._

 

_Blaine sighed deeply, leaning his head back as he reveled in the feeling of Kurt's long fingers massaging shampoo into his scalp. The confiscation of Rachel's bathtub and bath salts was something her roommate was conveniently not going to divulge. "God, you're amazing. Absolutely amazing."_

 

_Kurt giggled, making sure to work the suds into the raven-colored ringlets he adored so much. The soldier in question was seated between his legs, leaning his tanned back against Kurt's pale chest. "I've lost track how many times you've said that tonight."_

 

_He hummed, "And I've meant it every time."_

 

_Once Kurt was satisfied with his massaging, he grabbed a nearby luffa, lathered it with citrus smelling soap, and proceeded to work the soap over Blaine's hairy chest. "Are you always this charming after a good two rounds of sex?"_

 

" _Wouldn't know. You're the first person to stick around long enough for a second round."_

 

_Kurt's washings faltered for a moment, picking back up in hopes that his soldier hadn't noticed his stutter. He ventured lower, dipping the luffa into the water before covering Blaine's abdomen in suds. "Well good."_

 

" _Good?"_

 

" _Yeah." He explored even lower, washing something that made Blaine squeak at the sudden brazenness. "Because I wouldn't want to share my sergeant with anyone else."_

 

_Blaine chuckled brokenly, shaking out the suds in his hair when Kurt kept 'washing' a certain part of him. "Kurt, I think that part of me is clean now."_

 

" _Really? Ya sure?" Kurt squeezed, and Blaine squirmed back against him. "Wouldn't want my soldier slacking on his hygiene just because he's a little bit distracted by little ol' me."_

 

_Sergeant Anderson shook his head, eyeing the coy looking man behind him. "Ya know, for someone who wasn't too keen on me being an army guy, you sure are making a reference to it an awful lot."_

 

" _Maybe I've had time to adjust." He shrugged, lifting his hands out of the water to wash Blaine's shoulders and biceps. "And maybe the idea of being with a soldier has become something of a kink for me."_

 

" _Has it now?"_

 

" _Hmm…" Kurt said, furrowing his brows and putting aside his luffa to trace a particular scar he discovered below Blaine's collarbone. "Blaine, what's this?"_

 

_Blaine shivered when Kurt traced his bullet wound, reaching a hand up to still his valid explorations. "Uh…I got shot. It was my first tour."_

 

" _Where at?"_

 

" _Does it matter?"_

 

_Kurt shook his head, "No, not if you say it doesn't." Blaine didn't delve any further into the story. The paler boy didn't push, just held onto the hand Blaine had placed over his. His soft fingers brushed over curious slices on the soldier's fingers, fresher scars littering his hand. "What about these?"_

 

_The sergeant flinched, nearly jerking his hand out of Kurt's grasp. "Shrapnel cutting into my palms. Could have been worse, ya know?"_

 

"… _not really, no."_

 

_Blaine scooted forward a bit, leaning down slightly to wash the shampoo from his hair. He ran his fingers through his freshly washed locks; all the while the soldier could practically feel the man wilt behind him. "If it's all right with you, I'd rather not talk about my time away. These stories…they're not exactly light dinner conversation."_

 

" _Oh, no, I get it." Kurt inched forward hesitantly, taking his time to wrap his arms around Blaine's body, hooking his chin over the other's shoulder to gently nuzzle against his cheek. "But just so you know, you can talk to me about anything. I meant what I showed you at the airport. I love you, Blaine Anderson. And I realize that comes with the added bonus of loving a soldier, a sergeant no less, but I don't want you to worry. I'm not going anywhere."_

 

_Blaine closed his eyes, letting the feeling of Kurt's secure arms wash over him. "I love you too, Kurt Hummel. And I'm gonna hold you to that, but first, will you…erm…would you do me the honor of being exclusive, to me, just me, as my…um boyfriend?"_

 

_Kurt kissed the side of the tanned man's cheek. "It's about damn time."_

 

* * *

 

 

This time, Kurt did remember opening his eyes. The white lights hurt, and there was something stuck in his throat making him choke. He tried to cough, spit the thing in his mouth out. The man shook his head and jerked his body, screaming behind the plastic thing until he felt hands on him. It took a few minutes, people telling him to calm down as they held him still and the thing was removed from his throat. "All right, there you go. It's out."

 

He wheezed and coughed, the corners of his eyes tearing up at how rough and dry his mouth was. The pale man was vaguely aware of a straw being pushed to his lips, but he just turned his head away, refusing it. "Kurt, buddy. Come on, the water will make ya feel better."

 

Kurt turned his glassy blue eyes towards him, Burt halted by his intense gaze. He felt his body literally shaking, the memory of his dream, or limbo, or whatever hell that was still burning within him. The young man didn't acknowledge when his other visitors came in the room, just stared down his father. Without the aid of liquid, all he could do was mouth 'Blaine.'

 

Burt didn't know what to say, other than, "What about Blaine?"

 

"STOP LYING TO ME!" His unused voice broke out.

 

It was grating to hear, to everyone in the room. They winced at the harsh sound. Burt let his shoulders sag, "Kurt, you already know—"

 

"No! NO!" He shouted, not caring how he looked in front of everyone as tears tracked down his fair face. "I'm not gonna believe it, not until you tell me."

 

"Bud—"

 

"Dad…" Kurt chocked out, sniffling terribly when it sounded like his dad was going to sugar coat it. "Daddy please, I need to know." He whispered.

 

Burt never wanted to be the one to deliver such devastating news to his son, especially not the second he woke up from surgery. It was hard enough when everyone had to keep repeating it during the days Kurt kept forgetting, but Burt knew it was different this time. This time, there was no forgetting. "He's gone, son. Blaine died a couple months ago. I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry."

 

 

Not a sound.

 

Kurt just kept staring at his father, watching as the mechanic's eyes grew sad, grief and genuine distraught in his features. He wasn't lying. This was the truth. Blaine was gone. His husband was dead. The shocked man could hear sniffles and muffled cries. The scene of his family and Rachel's mourning for his fallen soldier could be heard happening to his right. But he couldn't move, couldn't speak, couldn't feel. He doesn't know how long he remained still, time nearly frozen as his mind finally began to believe what his father had said.

 

He's gone.

 

He died a couple months ago.

 

Blaine died.

 

"…Blaine’s dead." Kurt finally whispered. The room, the hall, the entire hospital floor had suddenly grown very silent.

 

He craned his neck back against the pillows, and let the pain flood every part of his senses. No one was immune to it, not when Kurt's scream was so heart wrenchingly agonizing. The very sound hurt your heart…your soul.

 

Kurt Hummel no longer had a tumor.

 

But he didn't have a husband either.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've set it up so anyone reading can choose to believe what they choose to believe. The song was 'Do You Remember?' by Pasek and Paul. I read that it was a rejected song from a Peter Pan prequel musical, I may be wrong.
> 
> This is not the end of the story. There are still a few more chapters, and I have a sort of bittersweet ending planned. As of now I don't think there will be any more flashbacks, but you never know. Leave a kudos and/or comment on your way out!


	10. Fallen Soldier Boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it seems really sad and unfair, but it was always supposed to happen. Thank you so much for all your kudos and wonderful comments. I'm glad you all want to see this story through even though Blaine is gone. It means a lot. :)
> 
> So without further ado!
> 
> *WARNING* MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH. Triggers for deployment, death of a loved one, strong language, and homophobia.
> 
> Again, no beta. All mistakes are my own.
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing, nothing, nothing. No profit made etc. See Chapter 1 for more elaborate disclaimer.

(Chapter 10)

 

There is no proper way to experience the loss of a life. There is no correct way to grieve either. Kurt knows that, he just wished he didn't have to do it all. He held onto the bouquet of flowers he picked up, staring at them while he sat in his dad's car. The funeral was months ago, his husband had already been honored and buried. Without Kurt there. The Andersons explained that in Kurt's condition the doctors advised that he not attend, so it commenced without him there. It'd been another few weeks before Kurt could even be released from the hospital, never mind strong enough to visit Blaine's grave. He sat there, blinking slowly and trying to find the courage to get out of the freaking car. His dad was there in the driver's seat, waiting patiently and not rushing him one bit. "You can always try again a different day. He ain't goin’ no—" Burt cut himself off quickly.

 

"Go ahead, say it. 'He ain’t goin’ no where.' Not like that isn't true." His voice was monotone, sounding just like he was feeling.

 

"I'm sorry. I didn't—I shouldn't have said that."

 

"Say whatever you want. I don't care."

 

"Kurt—"

 

"What?" Kurt snapped.

 

Burt sighed, "Buddy, you're not doing this again. We're all on your side. We want—" There was a hurried knock on Burt's side of the car, Cooper waiting and looking anxious. His dad opened the car door, "Coop, this ain't the time."

 

"I-I know, but has Kurt decided if he was getting down?"

 

Kurt looked over and glared. How dare Cooper try to rush him. Thankfully, Burt was the one who answered the actor. "No, but the boy can take however much time he needs." He emphasized harshly.

 

Coop looked over his shoulder towards the cemetery before turning back to say, "Yeah, well, today's a sucky day for anything. I mean, the sun's too bright, the sky's too fucking blue, and the clouds—ugh!—white turds waiting for the chance to crap all over us. Maybe you should just take my baby brother-in-law there HOME." He urged.

 

Burt narrowed his eyes, "Why?"

 

Coop looked over at Kurt then stared back at Burt. He leaned forward and started whispering something to Burt, directing his gaze somewhere over the field of gravestones. His father cursed softly, "Bastard." He opened the car door wider and pushed Cooper forward, following the younger male to wherever and whatever the problem was.

 

Kurt sat in his seat for a while longer, staring at the open door where his father had just bolted. Strange, to say the least. He quirked his lips to the side, and tapped a finger on the door handle. This was just a ploy to get Kurt out of the car, right? It has to be. But after another minute or so of waiting, and no one returning, Kurt's own curiosity got the better of him.

 

 

He opened the door and huffed as he headed in the general direction of where his dad and Cooper went off to, taking the flowers with him. Peering around the cemetery, he spotted the big tree near where his mother was buried. There were several people huddled over there, including his father and his very bizarre acting brother-in-law. Kurt could tell it was them by Cooper's signature leather jacket and his dad's ball cap. Shifting from foot to foot for a moment, Kurt took one last deep breath before heading in their direction.

 

The closer he got, the better he was able to see. Blaine's parents were there, including his grandparents, which surprised him. Carole was standing next to Rachel and Finn, who were a ways off from the other six adults talking. Nobody was aware of him approaching; therefore, they didn't try to stifle what they were saying. "…saying is, this wouldn't have happened if he hadn't of been a faggot."

 

Burt snarled, "How dare you say that! Do you have no respect—"

 

"I don't respect men who get on their knees for other men."

 

"Albert, please. Not here."

 

"Hold your tongue, Maureen."

 

"Father, he is my son. I will not stand by and let you speak ill of him!"

 

"I will speak of him in any way I wish!"

 

"You homophobic asshole, I swear if you say one more word about my baby bro…"

 

"Don't you threaten me boy, I am your grandfather."

 

"Well grandfather, I don't have a problem with kicking your ass!"

 

"What the hell is going on here!?" Kurt screeched, hands shaking from the words he just heard. The group of adults turned towards the new voice, all but one panicking at the sight of him.

 

Albert didn't hesitate to speak. "Ah yes, just who I needed to see." He pushed past the people next to him, opening the briefcase he had with him and taking out a manila envelope. "Here, there are some forms you need to sign."

 

Kurt stared at the envelope in front of him, confused and angry all at the same time. "You're disturbing my husband's resting place over a few signatures?"

 

The older man snorted, "It seems anytime I tried to get in touch with you, my attempts were thwarted by your father there."

 

"Well, excuse me for not wanting to let my son talk to a homophobic prick while he was in the hospital."

 

Cooper snickered, "Good one!"

 

He just shook the papers in his hands, directing Kurt's attention back to them. "Boy, I don't want to be in your kind's presence any longer than I have to. If you could just sign these papers, I'll be on my way."

 

Kurt stared at Mr. Anderson Sr. for a moment, trying to understand what was happening. Finally, he settled on handing the flowers to Cooper, then snatching the envelope and pulling out the legal documents from inside. He looked over the pages, not comprehending most of the legal jargon. All he caught was Blaine's name, and the Anderson family's. "What exactly are these for?"

 

"Nothing to concern yourself about." Albert waved a hand dismissively. "Just not something Blaine can sign anymore, you understand."

 

The callous words were like a punch in the gut, Kurt's body flinching as if he'd been physically hurt. "Bullshit!" Cooper interjected. "He's trying to cheat you out of everything Blaine left you!"

 

"E-Excuse me?" He whispered.

 

Cooper explained, "We have savings bonds, own stocks in grandfather's businesses, and each own a portion of the Anderson family estate. It was something our grandparents put aside for us once we were born." Then he sneered at Albert, "But ever since Blaine came out to the family, our precious grandfather has been trying to deprive his grandson of his inheritance. Technically he was supposed to get it once you guys were married, or he had a kid."

 

"Recognize a marriage between two heathens conducted in some backwards Canadian wetland? Hah! You must be joking." He scoffed.

 

"That's it! You open your ugly mug again and I'll punch your lights out!" Burt growled.

 

"I'm sick and tired of you insulting my family! If this is what being Anderson is, then consider me walking away from it." Wilson warned.

 

"Me too. Maureen, I'm sorry. But I can't do this anymore." Sharon apologized.

 

"You'd choose a mistake and his whore over me, Albert Anderson?"

 

Before any of them—including Finn who was listening and getting riled up at every prejudicial word out of the old man's mouth—could do anything, Kurt shouted at them. "Shut up! JUST SHUT UP!" He just screamed at them after that, a long and drawn out scream that could only be achieved thanks to his years of singing in Glee Club. Kurt was trembling by the time the rest of the air was out of his lungs, taking deep breaths and panting while everyone there just stared at him. "I don't want you're money. I don't want anything to do with you."

 

"No, Kurt—"

 

"Shut it, Coop!" Kurt snapped. "Someone give me a pen right now."

 

Albert got one from his suit jacket pocket, a smug smirk on his face. "This is very smart of you. At least your kind knows when they've met their match."

 

Kurt signed through all the papers quickly, flipping the pages harshly and signing his name on the last designated line. He then shoved the documents back at Albert Anderson, glaring at him dangerously the entire time. "After today, you don't attempt to contact me or my family again. Don't come near my husband's grave, Lima, or you know what? You should just stay out of Ohio all together, because I WILL beat the ever loving shit out of the man who made the most remarkable person I have ever known feel like he was worthless."

 

"Are you threatening me?"

 

His gaze darkened gravely, "I'm a man with nothing to lose now. You have no idea what I'm capable of."

 

The older gentleman took a minute to size him up, then harrumphed at him. "Whatever. I got what I came for. No need for me to ever come back to this barren hick town anyways." He stuffed the papers in his briefcase and proceeded to walk away. "Maureen, we're leaving!"

 

The grandmother followed after him for a few steps, before deciding to stop in front of Kurt and pull him into a tight hug. "I'm so sorry, honey. For what my husband has done, and everything you've been through." She pulled back to look at him, her hands cupping both his cheeks. "I love my grandchildren, with all my heart. You were special to him, and I can see why. I-I wish we could have known each other better."

 

"MAUREEN!"

 

She looked over her shoulder, before turning back and standing on her tiptoes to give Kurt a grandmotherly kiss on the forehead. "Blaine always wrote to me. It would mean a lot if you could please continue to do so." Then she smoothed out the lapel on Kurt's blazer before shuffling off to follow her husband to their car.

 

Kurt watched as the grandparents left, wanting to make sure Mr. Anderson Sr. was gone for good. Cooper whistled long and low, "You know, I kind of like badass Kurt. Seeing him get hostile got me all tingly."

 

Wilson snorted, "Cooper…" He shook his head, a fond smile on his face.

 

"What? At least that's one problem dealt with."

 

"We have more than one problem?" Kurt asked, still reeling from the previous interaction.

 

Burt elbowed Cooper, "Dammit, boy."

 

"What? What is it?"

 

His father pursed his lips together, looking over where Finn, Rachel and Carole were standing. Kurt followed his line of sight, furrowing his brows as he strode over towards them. They stood between his mother's and Blaine's graves. Rachel tucked a lock of hair behind her ear, ducking her head when Kurt approached. "We don't know who did it. It was here before any of us arrived."

 

Before Kurt could ask what she was talking about, Carole and Finn stepped aside, revealing Blaine's grave to him. What he saw made him feel so hurt, so devastated inside. Someone had spray painted across the little plastic nameplate that marked Blaine's grave, a placeholder while they waited for his headstone to arrive.

 

**FAG**

 

Kurt dropped to his knees in front of the plastic nameplate, tears streaming down his face as he tried to rub off the bright orange paint. He used his nails to scratch off the offensive word, not even caring about the grim that got under them. "Why would you bury him here? In this narrow-minded little town…"

 

Sharon stepped up behind him, rubbing at her own watery eyes. "He wanted to be buried here. It was stated in his will, including the part where anything and everything was designated to be left to you."

 

"I don't want any and everything. I just want HIM."

 

She made a pained noise, covering her mouth as she got her bearings. "Well, Blaine refused to be buried in the Anderson family plot. In his will, it said that if he had to die, he wanted to be buried close to family. His Hummel family. You."

 

Kurt ripped out the orange tainted grass, going as far as to remove the grass from its roots, dirt and all. He clenched his eyes shut at his mother-in-law's words, pressing his hands over his face and slowly closing them into fists against his forehead and cheek, not caring if he smeared grass or dirt across his skin. The pale boy wanted to rip his hair out, he wanted cry, shout, and scream because of how distraught he felt and how unfair this whole thing was. Someone tried to put a hand on his shoulder, but he just jerked away from it, leaning forward and resting his suit covered elbows against the ground. Kurt's hands had moved to gripping his hair, and when the sensitive scarred area from his surgery was grazed, it just reminded him of how he almost forgot it all. His soft cries could be heard as he grieved over his husband, over his fallen soldier boy.

 

**I'm so tired of being here**

**Suppressed by all my childish fears**

**And if you have to leave**

**I wish that you would just leave**

**Your presence still lingers here**

**And it won't leave me alone**

 

Burt removed his hat and wrung it in his hands, allowing his tearful sadness to come out again as he listened to his son's heartfelt words. He may have experienced a loss like this before, but Kurt…he didn't know if Kurt was going to be able to survive this a second time.

 

**These wounds won't seem to heal**

**This pain is just too real**

**There's just too much that time cannot erase**

 

Rachel gripped onto Finn's hand, turning to lean against him and give him the opportunity to wrap his arms around her. Finn did, twining their fingers together and holding her to him while she cried against his jacket. It was their way of letting bygones be bygones.

 

**When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears**

**When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears**

**And I held your hand through all of these years**

**But you still have**

**All of me**

 

Kurt wiped away more of the disgusting orange paint, revealing the words Sergeant Blaine Anderson-Hummel. He smiled at finally being able to see his husband's name, pressing his fingers to his lips in a light kiss before pressing it to the nameplate.

 

**You used to captivate me by your resonating light**

**Now I'm bound by the life you left behind**

**Your face—it haunts my once pleasant dreams**

**Your voice—it chased away all the sanity in me**

 

Carole walked over to Burt and put a hand on her husband's shoulder, heart clenching at the sight of him silently letting the tears fall. She gave him a sympathetic look, allowing Burt to rest his forehead on her shoulder.

 

**These wounds won't seem to heal**

**This pain is just too real**

**There's just too much that time cannot erase**

 

Wilson put a hand on the shoulder of his wife, squeezing it when he felt them shaking with her efforts to contain her hitches of breath. They had attended the funeral. When their youngest was put into the ground. The tears, the anger, the sadness, his parents had already went through it all. So it should be easier, visiting his grave this time around.

 

It wasn't.

 

**When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears**

**When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears**

**And I held your hand through all of these years**

**But you still have**

**All of me**

 

Cooper dropped down to his knees next to Kurt, helping him rip out the last remains of the orange grass. The Broadway actor then placed the obscure arrangement of flowers under his plastic nameplate, wrapping an arm around his little brother's husband.

 

Blaine's widower.

 

**I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone**

**But though you're still with me**

**I've been alone all along**

 

Kurt sat back on his haunches, lower lip trembling as he straightened back and looked over the arrangement. Then he closed his eyes and looked up to the sky as a sob wretched itself from his chest, hating that Cooper's arms were the ones around him because he knew he could never be wrapped up in Blaine's again.

 

**When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears**

**When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears**

**And I held your hand through all of these years**

**But you still have**

**All of me…me**

 

When Cooper pulled him in tighter for a hug, he guessed that it was meant in a comforting gesture, but Kurt just hated it. His face squeaked against Coop's leather jacket and he smelled like too much overpriced Christian Dior cologne. Blaine would never wear something as tacky as that and he would much rather have his husband's smell of Old Spice deodorant and fruity hair gel. "Don't worry, little brother. It's gonna be okay. It'll be okay." Even though Cooper didn't specify it, Kurt knew it was him Coop was calling 'little brother,' and not Blaine. That just made it hurt all the more, but before Kurt could comment—or scream—about it, someone interrupted the huddle.

 

"Excuse me, Mister." Kurt extracted himself from his bother-in-law's grasp enough to turn and see who had addressed them, fairly surprised when he saw a little girl standing before them. "Are you my daddy's friend?"

 

Kurt blinked confusedly, self-consciously wiping his face with the base of the palm of his hand because sweet cheesus he didn't want to frighten the girl with the mess his face must have been. "Um…sorry, who are you?"

 

The little girl frowned, her dark brown curly ringlets bouncing when she shook her head. "Mama said not to give strangers my name."

 

"I don't think you're supposed to talk to them at all, dear." Kurt corrected, rubbing at the dirt on his face.

 

"But mama said SHE knew you. See, she's over there." The little girl pointed over her shoulder to a woman waiting a bit ways off, waving hesitantly in their direction. Kurt squinted his eyes, swearing she looked familiar but not being able to put a finger on it. "So are you my daddy's friend?"

 

"What? Huh?"

 

"Are you Mister Blaine?" The little girl emphasized, getting exasperated with having to repeat herself.

 

Kurt felt his throat tighten, eyes threatening to water again at the sound of his husband's name. "No, sorry. M-My name is Kurt. B-Blaine was my…um…Blaine is who I'm here to visit."

 

The little girl stared at Kurt for a moment, then walked past him and Cooper to peer at the little nameplate they were hunched over. She frowned after she squinted and read the name, "Oh…was he your friend too?"

 

He laughed a bit, unsure if he actually wanted to say the truth to this little girl, but what the hell. "More than that, he was my husband. My best friend." 'My everything' is what he wanted to add, but decided against it.

 

"Ooooh…ok." The little girl nodded, accepting the answer just like that. Strange, but ok. She looked at the arrangement that was already placed there, then stuck her own bright yellow rose right in the middle of it. "Thank you, Mister Blaine." She whispered, smiling proudly.

 

The whole interaction had certainly peeked Kurt's interest. He tapped her shoulder while she was admiring her work. "What's your name?"

 

She tilted her head at Kurt, "Hannah."

 

"Well, Hannah. W-What exactly are you thanking Blaine for?"

 

Hannah smiled bigger, "For saving my daddy. Without him, daddy said he would have never gotten home. So I just wanted to say thank you." After the words were out of her mouth, she thought about them for a moment, before looking at Kurt with big dark eyes. "I'm sorry Mister Blaine can't come home anymore." Then Hannah wrapped her little arms around Kurt's neck, squeezing him tight like only a child could.

 

Kurt felt his arms wrap around her little body, part of his face bumping into her shoulder as he went. He held on to her, closing his eyes and trying not to let his tears dampen her shoulder. Before he could lose it, and basically sob into the girl's shoulder, they heard, "Hannah! Hannah, what did I say?"

 

She pulled back from Kurt and frowned at the man who came up to them, clasping her hands behind her back like most kids do when they've been caught doing something they weren't supposed to. "Not to bother people when they're visiting." Hannah drawled. "Sorry, daddy."

 

"That's right. I told you we were gonna wait until they were done." He shook his head, and then looked over at his wife, the woman Hannah had pointed at earlier. "I thought you had her."

 

The woman pouted, "She just wanted to give Blaine a flower. You know how she is! Once she has her mind set on something, there's no talking her out of it. Like SOMEONE else I know." The talk dark man turned away, completely affronted. "She must have slipped away while we were talking to everyone else. By the time I saw her, she was already talking to them."

 

When Kurt looked at Hannah's father, he was surprised. "David?"

 

The soldier turned towards him, face looking guilty. "Kurt, I'm sorry. I didn't mean for Hannah to disturb you here."

 

Kurt quickly stood up, dusting off his pants. "It's all right. I-I didn't really mind."

 

David shook his head. "We should have kept a better eye on her. Hannah, please apologi—Hannah!" A tired David looked on as his wife chased after their little girl, watching as she ran back to her Uncle Wes and her cousin. "She didn't say anything to upset you, did she?"

 

Kurt chuckled dryly, "No, not at all. And, not that I'm not happy to see you, but if you don't mind me asking, what are you doing here?"

 

The soldier frowned, "You're not the only one who lost him, Kurt. He was special to a lot of people. It's why we're all here."

 

"We?"

 

David smiled sympathetically, pointing over to where there was a group of people by the road dressed in dark clothing. "Some of us were able to make it to the funeral, but most of us were still deployed when it happened. We just wanted the chance to be here, to say goodbye, to make sure you're okay."

 

Kurt could feel his eyes growing misty, rushing forward and hugging David tightly. "Thank you, David. Thank you." After a moment or so of embracing, someone cleared their throat from behind them. He pulled away from his friend, "Right, um...David, these would be the Andersons, Blaine's parents and his brother Cooper. This is my dad, and my stepmother, Carole. This guy would be my stepbrother Finn, and this is Rachel. Everyone, this is David, one of Blaine's army friends."

 

The group murmured their hellos, David shaking their hands and greeting them in turn. "Nice to meet you all."

 

Awkwardly, no one really had anything to say after that. It was because of a mutual death that they were meeting, kind of puts a damper on things. Thankfully, they heard a whistle from where the road was, a couple people waving their arms frantically. David signaled something to them Kurt didn't understand. "Sorry, the guys are itching to say hi, but you should take as much time as you need. We can always meet up later, you know? We're gonna be in town for a couple days anyway."

 

"David, no amount of time I spend here is going to make everything okay for me. Plus, you guys are only here for a couple days. I want you all to have time with him too." He sniffled.

 

"Kurt—"

 

"Please," Kurt smiled a bit too brightly, faking some form of happiness. "I'm curious as to who's here after all."

 

"If you're sure…"

 

"Yeah, come on." The two men walked away from the grave, heading towards the road that routed through the cemetery. He looked back behind him, "You guys coming?"

 

Sharon shook her head, "We're going to visit for a while longer if that's all right."

 

Cooper nodded, "Yeah, but we'll catch up with ya later, 'kay?

 

Kurt nodded, "Dad? What about you guys?"

 

Burt put his cap back on, "I think we're just gonna head home for the day, but you go on ahead. We'll see ya at home."

 

"Um…okay." Kurt said unsurely, walking in a different direction than where the rest of his family was headed. He shrugged. Trying to figure out what's going on with anyone other than himself is not something he's prepared to tackle yet. So he continued to walk with David, smiling slightly when the twins who married Wes and David ambushed him.

 

"Oh, Kurt. We missed you."

 

"We're so sorry about Blaine."

 

"We came back as soon as we could."

 

"Are you doing okay, honey?"

 

"What can we do?"

 

"Ladies, please. Let him breathe." David helped to back them off, giving Kurt a little space.

 

Kurt rolled his eyes at David, putting an arm around both women and giving them a hug. "Thank you for coming."

 

"Of course," They both said at the same time.

 

"Because that's not creepy." A man commented, standing off to the side.

 

Kurt tilted his head at him, not recognizing him. "Sorry, have we met?"

 

He shifted uncomfortably, running a hand through his styled hair. "No, my name is Sebastian. Jeremiah's fiancé."

 

"Oh, oh wow, hi. I'm Kurt." He shook Sebastian's hand. "Now I think I remember you, from that New Year's party at the base in New York. How is Jeremiah? Is he here?"

 

Sebastian glowered, "He's dead. Him and Blaine got taken out together." It looked like he was becoming emotional, but he turned his head away, trying to keep his steely façade.

 

Kurt wilted considerably, hating to have to find out another person he knew was gone. "I'm sorry. I-I-I didn't know…" His voice started to quiver.

 

The wives hissed, "Sebastian!"

 

He sighed, "Sorry, a year ago I was a planning a wedding. Now I'm suddenly single with a fiancé six feet under. Excuse me if I come off as a heinous bitch."

 

"I understand." Kurt supplied, feeling guilty that he's actually grateful to meet someone who knows exactly what he's going through. His dad understands of course, but his mother's situation was completely different. "How well did you know Blaine?"

 

Sebastian looked uncomfortable again, "Not very. I just…Jer said Blaine was the best Sergeant anyone could ask for, and a great friend. He was the reason Jer was always able to come home. I guess I just wanted to say thank you. Without him keeping Jeremiah out of trouble, we might have never met."

 

Kurt gave a watery smile, feeling emotion swell up in him. Blaine was more extraordinary than he thought, and that was saying something. "Blaine always trusted Jeremiah. I'm sure he did his fair share of saving my soldier too."

 

"Maybe…" He cleared his throat, "Well, before this turns into an emotional hugfest or something equally as terrifying, I'm gonna pay my respects to the Sergeant over there. Count me out for the Breadstix, boys. I just want to go back home."

 

"Breadstix?" Kurt murmured, watching sadly as Sebastian made his way towards Blaine's grave. "You guys going to Breadstix?"

 

"Well…" David started off, motioning for Wes to come forward.

 

Wes took over, "Like we said, a lot of us didn't make it to the funeral. There's quite the list of people eager to meet you."

 

"Me?"

 

David nodded, "Just because Blaine's gone, doesn't mean you're not still part of our little army family. We all have some memory of Blaine that we wanted to share with everybody. Memories are precious, you know? They're meant to be shared among family." He gestured at the item Wes was holding, an item that almost caused Kurt to breakdown right then and there.

 

"Here, I was able to be there for the funeral. Helped honor him and everything." Wes handed over the triangular item. "It's the one that covered his casket. I saved it for you."

 

Kurt reached out shakily for the flag, bringing the symbolic cloth to his chest and hugging it. "Thank you, Wes. You have no idea how much this means to me." He looked over his shoulder though, where Mr. and Mrs. Anderson seemed to be conversing with Sebastian. "But wouldn't this have been given to his parents?"

 

Wes shrugged, "They wanted you to have it."

 

When Kurt turned back he tried to smile, lifting the flag up so it was tucked under his chin securely. "You can't believe how seeing you guys makes me feel. It means a lot. But I am curious, how did you know to come here today? On the day that I was visiting him?"

 

Wes and David furrowed their eyebrows, looking at each other and then at Kurt. "Rachel called us, set this whole thing up. She flew us all out here on a private plane. She didn't tell you?"

 

"No, no she didn't."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song was 'My Immortal' by Evanescence. Just two or three chapters left in this story lovelies! Thanks again for sticking with this story! :) Kudos maybe? Comment perhaps?


	11. Exists to Exist

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurt went home, he went to sleep, and worst of all…he woke up again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright peeps, this is when you find out what I want to do with the ending. I know some of you want me to write a piece where Blaine doesn't die, which I might do as a one-shot later, but first read this, check out where I'm going with this ending, and let me know if you'd still like me to write something where he does live. Thank you again so much for your comments and your tears over this fic, this emotional roller coaster is nearly finished.
> 
> Now let us continue!
> 
> *WARNING* MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH. Triggers for deployment, death of a loved one, depression, minor thought of suicide and strong language.
> 
> Again, no beta. All mistakes are my own.
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing, nothing, nothing. No profit made etc. See Chapter 1 for more elaborate disclaimer.

(Chapter 11)

 

Kurt tried. He really did. The days after David and the other soldiers flew back home, Kurt really did try to get out of bed. His time spent with Blaine's army buddies, he thought it was going to help him. Meeting Blaine's friends, hearing the wonderful stories they had of his husband, it should have healed a part of him. At least, he thought it would. Kurt had listened to every memory and instance of heroism his Blaine had been apart of, letting himself smile for the first time in months because…BLAINE. He always knew he married an amazing man, but the get together at Breadstix had just reminded him of what he'd already known.

 

While David had said not everyone had been able to attend Blaine's funeral, he didn't specify how big a group he was referring to. When Kurt had stepped into the restaurant, there were literally tables upon tables of soldiers and army personnel waiting inside. If he hadn't of seen it for himself, he wouldn't have believed it. He had shaken each and every one of their hands, Kurt standing in a room full of selfless men and women that wished to pay their respects to his Blaine.

 

They ate, they talked, and some even got up on stage to share their own story about Kurt's husband. The widower himself had even been pushed up on stage by an insistent Wes, thanking them for their kind words and generosity, not even able to get through his speech without a tear falling down his cheek. That night he had gone home with more fond memories, his mind swimming with images of Blaine helping someone, making them smile, his goofy laugh. Kurt will always admit that had been a good day. But then he went home, he went to sleep, and worst of all…he woke up again.

 

No one has heard from Kurt in weeks. Everyone rings his home, rings his cellphone, but he doesn't pick up for anyone. His friends are ignored, his family, and he doesn't pick up when the University checks to see when he's coming back to work. Rachel hasn't gone back to New York yet, deciding to stay with Finn and the Hummels while they take care of Queen. Cooper tried to say goodbye before he headed back to the Big Apple, but his knocks on the door were met with silence, not even a rustled curtain or flickered light to signal that Kurt acknowledged his presence. The Broadway actor took the hint though, deciding it was better to give him space to grieve. God knows he needed it too.

 

The Andersons gave it a shot as well, but were met with much the same outcome. Not wanting to overstep their boundaries, they'd decided to leave it at that, knowing their relationship with Kurt wasn't the most solid of ones. Rachel however…Rachel was done with being in the background. Her friend was in a bad place, a really bad place, and she'd never forgive herself if she let him shut her out a second time. She dug up the numbers she needed and called for reinforcements. These may not be people who are in her inner most circle, but if they cared for Kurt, then she was willing to work together with them to help her best friend. Flights were booked, emergency house keys were stolen/borrowed from Finn, and a plan was put into motion. Kurt may think he's going to alone for the rest of his life, but the truth is, he didn't have to be.

 

* * *

 

 

"I swear Berry, if you hadn't of called me I would have been down in the next couple of days anyway."

 

"What's stopped you from coming sooner?"

 

Santana rolled her eyes, "Our boy, and Brittney. If she hadn't of been the one to answer your call, I would still be there with them. But she assured me that this HAS to be done, right now, and I couldn't argue."

 

"She okay to take care of him by herself? It would have been no problem bringing them." Sugar said, not at all bothered by the idea of paying for extra people's flights.

 

"Her parents are helping out too, and I needed to get down here anyways. I didn't get to make it to Blaine's funeral, or that weird get together David and Wes arranged. Visiting Blaine's grave was the first thing I did when I got here. Brittney even gave me a letter she wrote to him in crayon." She snorted, smiling fondly when speaking about her wife.

 

Rachel butted in, coming up the porch steps to the Anderson-Hummel home. "Ladies, enough talk about things other than Kurt. I brought you two here because he is in trouble. He hasn't made a peep into the outside world in nearly a month. I just talked to his next-door neighbor, and she said that the only time she's seen him is when he met a grocery delivery guy at the front door ONCE."

 

"Well at least we know he came out for food." Sugar provided.

 

"Must I reiterate the 'once' part? Who knows if he's even taking care of himself? Kurt can't live the rest of his life as a person who simply exists to exist. It's not who he is."

 

Santana strangely found herself agreeing with the annoying Jewish girl, "As much as it pains me to agree with this chittering dwarf, I do. Agree that is. I'd like to think if the roles were reversed, Kurt and Blaine would have done the same for Brittney. Porcelain needs us, and that's the only reason I am talking to you losers."

 

Rachel stared at her, "Anyways, his neighbor also said something weird."

 

"Like what?"

 

"She said that he's been blasting music on and off throughout the weeks. It's just the same artist though, over and over, Katy Perry of all people."

 

Sugar tilted her head, "Why is that weird?"

 

"Because Kurt doesn't like Katy Perry. He's always preferred Gaga over that Candy Queen." It was said in a 'duh' sort of tone.

 

"But Blaine did." Santana explained, staring up at her friends' quaint little house. "Blaine loved Katy Perry."

 

"Oh no." Rachel fished the keys from her coat pocket to quickly unlock the house, not bothering to knock and alert Kurt that he had visitors. Once the girls were inside, it was quite apparent that their friend didn't muddle around the downstairs area of his house very much. The plants have been dead for some time and it's obvious the floors and windows haven't been cleaned, nor has there been any dusting happening. Books, CDs, a knick-knack or two, and a few articles of clothing (including a stray blanket) were strewn about his living room. The girls found the state of the house to be kind of depressing, the room looking as if it had been abandoned and already uninhabited.

 

Sugar wrapped her arms around herself, her friend's home feeling cold and unwelcoming for the first time since they've reconnected. "This does not feel like my Kurtsie's home." She said shakily, not wanting to admit that it REALLY did feel like someone died there.

 

"You'd think the guy would at least hire a maid." Santana said sarcastically, ignoring the way the other two stared at her. She dealt with loss in her own way, and that didn't involve being a sniveling anything in front of anyone. Her grief is her own, and she doesn't apologize for the way she deals with what she feels.

 

"Santana! How can you so insensiti—"

 

"Shh!" The female sergeant held up a hand, listening to a voice she heard coming from upstairs. "Do you hear that?"

 

The two listened. "Is that…?"

 

**Talk about our future**

**Like we had a clue**

**Never planned that one day**

**I'd be losing you**

 

"God, no."

 

**In another life**

**I would be your girl**

**We'd keep all our promises**

**Be us against the world**

 

"He isn't."

 

**In another life**

**I would make you stay**

**So I don't have to say**

**You were the one that got away**

**The one that got away**

 

"FUCK!"

 

**I was June and you were my Johnny Cash**

**Never one without the other, we made a pact**

**Sometimes when I miss you**

**I put those records on (Whoa)**

 

All three girls damn near sprinted up the stairs, the ones in heels hopping on one of their legs as they removed their shoes because no one had time to be face planting on their scurry up the stairs.

 

**Someone said you had your tattoo removed**

**They saw you downtown singing the Blues**

**It's time to face the music**

**I'm no longer your muse**

 

But even with that, once they reached the upstairs hallway, Sugar slipped on the hall rug in their haste. Rachel helping her up and Santana grumbling about the ditzy rich chick. The Broadway star rolled her eyes, not understanding how Kurt was actually friends with this woman.

 

**In another life**

**I would be your girl**

**We'd keep all our promises**

**Be us against the world**

 

The three women finally came to the room where the music was coming from, Rachel hurrying to push open the door when, "it's locked. Oh my God, it's locked! I-I don't have a key for that."

 

**In another life**

**I would make you stay**

**So I don't have to say**

**You were the one that got away**

**The one that got away**

 

"Oh move over, Man Hands." Santana pushed her aside, yanking a visible hairpin from the rich girl's head before squatting before the door and jiggling the pin in the lock.

 

**The one (The one)**

 

"Ow!" Sugar griped, clutching her hair and pouting. "Why didn't you just use one of yours?!"

 

**The o-o-o-o-o-one (The one)**

 

"Because I only carry razorblades in my hair." She said bluntly, continuing to pick the lock.

 

**Oh, the one, the one, the one, the one**

 

"This is taking too long." Rachel huffed, reaching into her purse to riffle through her wallet, fixing the strap over her shoulder once she got the item she needed. She then jimmied her credit card into the crack of the door where the lock was, jigging the knob until the card slipped past and prevented the door from being clicked closed. The girl hmphed at them, pushing the door open successfully and sticking the card back into her purse.

 

**All this money can't buy me a time machine (Nooooo)**

**Can't replace you with a million rings (Nooooo)**

**I should've told you what you meant to me (Whoa)**

' **Cause now I pay the price**

 

The sergeant stood back up, irritated. "Well I could have done that."

 

"Then why didn't you?" Sugar asked innocently.

 

**In another life!**

**I would be your girl**

**We'd keep all our promises**

**Be us against the world**

 

Santana was about to snark something back, when Rachel shushed them, redirecting the other two towards the inside of Kurt and Blaine's room. If they thought the living room was bad, it was nothing compared to the bedroom.

 

**In another life**

**I would make you stay**

**So I don't have to say**

**You were the one that got away**

 

The dressers were left open, clothes hanging out and strewn about the floor. The closet was open too and it wasn't hard to guess that most of the items spread about the room were Blaine's. There were a few wrappers amongst the articles of clothing, as well as various kinds of bottles. The bed was unmade, blankets and pillows hanging off it while the same debris and several open shoeboxes were spread out across the mattress. There were papers—their letters to each other—littering the already cluttered bedroom floor.

 

**The one that got away-y-y-y-y…oOoh!**

**The one**

 

It was a train wreck, to say the least. But the room wasn't the worst part. It was Kurt. In a little corner of the room, where the spot was clean of any items, Kurt sat huddled with his back against the wall. His chestnut hair was an unwashed mess, his eyes were red-rimmed with dark shadows under them, and his fingers were absently playing with a bottle of vodka that hung between his spread legs. Kurt was staring blankly at the flickering screen of his laptop in front of him, a little army uniformed teddy bear tucked under his left arm, and wearing his husband's sleep pants while one of Blaine's army jackets was draped over the shoulders of his naked torso. His soldier boy's dog tags were visible and hanging from his pale neck.

 

**In another life**

**I would make you stay**

**So I don't have to say**

**You were the one that got away**

 

"Turn off the laptop…" Rachel whispered.

 

"Me or—"

 

"Sugar, just take it away!" She shrieked.

 

**The one that got away**

 

Sugar jumped at the command, carefully maneuvering to avoid stepping on any of the items on the floor. She's seem movies likes these, don't the widows normally freak out when anything they've unearthed of their dead spouses gets slightly nudged? In any case, Sugar wasn't going to let that happen to her. Once she reached Kurt, the fellow fashion professor kneeled down to slowly tug the laptop her way, watching for any signs of her friend getting ready to lash out. The blue-eyed man remained dazedly transfixed, seemingly unaffected by the action. Quickly pulling it the rest of the way toward her, Sugar curiously picked it up and looked at the screen, glancing back at her co-worker sadly. "Girls."

 

The soldier and Rachel glanced at Kurt before moving, seeing as his gaze hasn't shifted and his fingers still mindlessly rimmed the bottle, he wasn't going to depressively flip out just yet. Santana makes a mini-pathway for them, shoving the clothes and papers aside. The two girls look over Sugar's shoulder at the screen and frowned, pressing a button to stop the music from playing for a moment while they watched the home video silently play. It consisted of small video clips of Blaine smiling and acting like a goofball.

 

They caught the last bit of someone (probably Kurt) recording Blaine waving his arms like a maniac as he pointed at their puppy and then at a Frisbee in his hand, Queen was just distractedly chasing his tail. The camera shook with someone's laughs. Next, it cut to Blaine saying something to the person holding the camera while pointing at a half-written letter in his hand, the soldier donned in his uniform planting a big kiss to the paper before turning to glare at the camera holder for a comment and flicking them off. As the next clip began to play, Rachel touched the track pad and moved the cursor to take the video off mute, curious as were the others to what this one was about.

 

_The clip was of Kurt and Blaine at yet another airport, but this time surrounded by other soldiers with their respective loved ones. Queen was on his leash and staring up at his two-legged caretakers. The airport was smaller because it was one in Ohio, but thankfully that meant there weren't that many people to make unnecessary racket for the camera to record. "You going to wish daddy a safe flight?" Kurt smiled, rubbing Queen's head._

 

_The Akita immediately jumped up and planted its massive black paws on Blaine's army jacket, snuffling while he licked his face and neck. The sergeant spluttered out his laugh, scratching the dog's head affectionately. "Oh, now that I'm leaving you're going to be nice to me?" Queen just whined, licking his chin in an almost apologetic manner before bumping his nose against his human's nose. Blaine just sagged a bit, rubbing his dog's side. "I'll miss you, too."_

 

_Queen snuffled against the side of his face one last time before letting Blaine set him back down on the ground, making a whining noise when he sensed how upset his owners were. He licked Kurt's hand affectionately, woofing softly as the two lovers looked at each other a bit forlornly. "I'm beginning to hate airports." Kurt suddenly laughed brokenly, eyes growing misty._

 

_Blaine chuckled, hoisting his bag over his shoulder and subtly wiping off doggie spit from his face. "Just think, next time you see one, it won't be because I'm leaving."_

 

_His lower lip trembled, Kurt throwing his arms around his soldier boy and nuzzling into his coat lapel. He could care less about the smell of dog slobber on him at the moment. The camera zoomed in a bit more, cutting down on the excess amount of passerby bodies. Barely the girls heard, "I love you so much, Blaine. More than anything. So you better come back to me, okay? Or else I'm going to be mad at you forever." A tear slipped down Kurt's cheek, seeping into his sergeant's jacket. Even though his words were meant in a more flippant joking manner, Blaine could hear the slight quiver in his voice, the familiar fear he always held whenever he had to say goodbye._

 

'Turn it off.' That's all that came to his mind.

 

" _Wouldn't want that." The solider wrapped his arms around his husband's waist, crushing the lither male to him. "You know that I can never stay away from you, not for long. Because you, Kurt Elizabeth, you are the love of my life. And I carry you in my heart wherever I go."_

 

Kurt slammed his bottle down on the floor next to him, not enough to smash it but just so that it made the girls jump, his hands white knuckling around the neck. 'Those are my memories. Not yours…' is what he wanted to tell them, but his breath hitched, tired glasz eyes welling up once again. He tried to muster up some sort of anger to make plain as the nose on his face, but he couldn't, he was too tired. Kurt just pursed his lips together and looked away, chest contracting as he tried to control his internalized cries.

 

Sugar shut the laptop—fearing a lash out from her favorite fashionista—and placed it behind them on the bed. The three girls stood in the middle of the bedroom and waited for one of them to make a move, because despite all agreeing that something needed to be done, no one had really came up with an actual plan. Santana, of course, was the first one to break the silence. Rather rudely if you asked Rachel, in fact. "Kurt, you're life isn't the one that's over. So stop acting like it."

 

Rachel whipped her head towards her, giving her an expression that was both appalled and angry. "What the hell is the matter with yo—"

 

***RING RING***

 

A cellphone chiming interrupting their haphazard intervention, Santana holding up a finger to Berry as she fished her phone out of her pocket, clearly confused by the number that flashed across the screen. "I-I have to take this." She slid the lock across the screen to answer as she went into the hallway. "Hello?"

 

Sugar ignored what happened with the army woman, stepping hesitantly closer to Kurt and kneeling before him in her J-Crew paisley dress. She tried to lift the bangs away from his eyes, drooping when Kurt continued to stare away from them and let the tears well up in his baby blues. "Kurtsie?" The grieving husband didn't acknowledge the nickname, wishing more than anything that he could have just continue hiding away, left to aimlessly relive his memories of Blaine as if on a constant loop. That's all he had left really, memories, and nothing more. "Why are you doing this? Bla-Blaine wouldn't want you to live like this."

 

If Kurt had any fight left in him, any ounce of will, he'd probably sarcastically ask her how she could possibly know that. But the thing is, he didn't. Kurt was convinced he had nothing left to give, to offer to anyone. He's missed so much work that the University was probably on the verge of firing him. As much as he loved Queen, he knew he wasn't fit to be a dog owner anymore, especially not since Queen only reminded him that he was a present from his very no-longer-present husband. Kurt wasn't an army husband anymore either. No more letters to be sent or received, no more serenades to be phoned in from halfway around the world, and no more R&R's that basically consisted of Kurt and Blaine desperately melded against each other as they savored every precious second together. He had nothing, he was nothing, and he felt nothing. If only he could have joined his soldier boy.

 

A slap rung out across Kurt's cheek, the pale boy blinking quickly as the force nearly made his head spin. He blinked up rapidly from where the smack came from, touching his flaming cheek lightly and caught by surprise when he realized that tears had begun tracking down his face again. Rachel was looming over him, staring at him with a look that could only be described as enraged horror. "Don't you ever say that again, okay? Do you hear me?" Kurt wasn't aware he had said anything at all, exactly what part of that had he voiced? "God, is that what you've been doing this whole time? Is the Kurt Hummel that I've grown up with, competed with, and the person who's inspired me since we were SIXTEEN really trying to will himself out of existence?" Rachel grabbed him by Blaine's coat and shook him pointedly, "Dammit Kurt, you're stronger than that, you're better than that." She began to tear up, her own emotions getting the best of her. "I know you miss him but, this isn't the end of everything. Your life isn't over just because you can't share it with Blaine anymore."

 

Kurt just stared up at her silently, mouth parted slightly in hopes that words will come out, ones that he intends this time and not those that he was never meant to be said out loud. He started shaking, trying to curl in on himself as Rachel kept gripping onto him, burying his face into the plush bear he'd received that one Valentine's Day that seemed so long ago. What she said was true, Kurt knew it was, but that didn't mean he knew how to be on his own anymore. Look at their room. Look at their house. Look at HIM. Kurt wasn't in the right state of mind to be his own person, not now anyways. Some might think it's a bit pathetic when Kurt says he doesn't know how to be a person without Blaine, but when you agree to share your life with someone, you kind of rearrange your way of thinking from 'I' to 'we'. Now Kurt just felt like half of a whole, a broken puzzle with a missing piece.

 

"Brittney's in the hospital." Everyone snapped up to look at Santana, the female sergeant standing in the doorway with the phone still dangling in her hand.

 

"That's your partner, right?" Rachel asked, letting Kurt go in her shock. "What do you mean she's in the hospital? She was just fine when you left, wasn't she?"

 

Sugar frowned, "Is she okay? What happened?"

 

Santana just kept shaking her head minutely, mouth opening and closing as she searched for the right words. "They wouldn't tell me exactly. Her parents called me. I-I need to go back to New York."

 

"What?! But what about Kurt? We're not done helping him." The Broadway star said. "We can't leave Kurt by himself. He's not—I don't think he's stable right now."

 

"Then we'll take him with us." Sugar said simply.

 

Rachel looked at Sugar with annoyance. "Are you stupid? Kurt is in no condition to go anywhere. And what's with this 'we' nonsense?"

 

"I can borrow my daddy's private jet. Its not a problem."

 

"Your father owns a private jet?"

 

"No, he owns three. One for business, one for vacations, and one for emergencies. This is an emergency, right?"

 

Before Rachel could say anything, because really the only thing she was doing was gaping her mouth open at Sugar, Santana butt in. "No, she's right. We have to take Kurt with us. Britt wants to see him. Her parents said she's been asking for him."

 

"So it's settled. I'll tell our pilot we leave by tonight." Sugar got up and reached into her cashmere sweater's pocket for her phone, walking towards the hallway where she planned to make the call. "And just so we're clear, my daddy is not in the mafia."

 

Rachel and Santana eyed each other, not buying that for one second. "So what DOES he do?"

 

She titled her head in thought, "I don't quite know really. He does a lot of different things and works with a lot of different people. Oh, and he owns like a lot of different things. Daddy likes to put his name on stuff."

 

Considering Sugar had her name embroidered on her sweater, the girls weren't surprised. "Then why do you work as a professor when your dad obviously buys you whatever you want." Rachel asked.

 

Sugar snorted at them, "Because I have awesome fashion sense, duh. The only reason people walk around in ugly clothes and don't realize it is because they haven't had the right people telling them what is hot and what is not. Which you would know if you had taken my class, I think you would benefit from it." She smiled at them, hitting the speed dial on her phone for her father. "Daddy! Hi! I just wanted to call you to tell you that I love you. Oh, and your princess needs a favor."

 

Santana couldn't hold in her snickering, especially not since it just sounded like Sweet-N-Low called Berry out as having a horrible sense of fashion. Rachel found it less funny. "Did she just—"

 

"Dear God, I hope so." The soldier laughed, shoving lightly at the midget's shoulder before gesturing to Kurt. "Come on, help me get him in the shower. We don't want him smelling like booze, sweat, and stale chips when he sees Britt after all this time."

 

Kurt let the two girls maneuver him into the shower, his usually warm body jerking and shivering when they just threw him in with his clothes still on. He sat there on the shower floor, letting the water pelt his face and neck as he pulled his knees to his chest. Everything was so messed up, and the only person who could make it better was gone. The girls were trying to find the solution to a problem when he didn't exist anymore. The blue-eyed boy wouldn't fight the girls on whatever they wanted him to do, he couldn't. Because the quicker this thing was over with, the faster he can get back to grieving over his lost love. Brittney was his friend, and he hoped she was okay, because Kurt doesn't think he can handle another person in his life dying.

 

* * *

 

 

"Mommy! Mommy!" A little boy ran towards Santana, flinging himself into his mother's arms and hugging her tightly. "Mama Bee is sick, mommy." He whimpered, clinging his legs around the woman's waist as he buried his head into her shoulder.

 

Santana caught him easily, settling the boy onto her hip and running a hand through his soft dark hair. "There, there, mijo. I've got you. Everything is going to be okay." She reassured, patting his back as she went on ahead and found Brittney's parents.

 

Sugar and Rachel trailed behind as they dragged Kurt along with them to keep up with the female sergeant. Santana was already talking to the parents when they finally caught up, the little boy looking over his mother's shoulder at them while his grandparents filled her in on what they knew. Kurt found himself staring at the little boy rather than trying to eaves drop on what could possibly be wrong with his friend. He couldn't be anymore than four years old, his face round and cute with dark brown eyes like Santana. His cheeks were rosy against his fair skin, the familiar feature jolting something in the back of his mind. "Brayden."

 

The little boy focused solely on him now, looking at the person who called his name. He hid his face behind his mom's hair, hiding from the unfamiliar person who knew his name. Now he remembered, four plus years ago Santana actually succeeded in getting a little bit of Hummel to mix with her Lopez. Kurt remembers meeting him a few times over the course of his life, not a constant enough presence for him to be immediately recognized by the four-year-old, but often enough for Kurt to remember that he had a hand in helping Santana and Brittney have their first child. He and Blaine were, more often than not, referred to as Uncle when concerning the little boy.

 

"Kurt?" The blue-eyed male blinked dazedly when he realized he had zoned out, Santana looking at him with her slender brows furrowed. "Come on. Britt's in here."

 

He couldn't even muster up a nod before he was being herded into the hospital room after Santana, Brayden parting his mother's long black hair to peek back out at him. "Mommy, who are those people?"

 

"That man is your Uncle Kurt, remember? And those are his friends."

 

"…oh." Brayden closed the curtain that was his mom's hair, turning around to try and see his other mom. "Mama Bee!"

 

Brittney sleepily looked up from her hospital bed, smiling softly at her son. "Baby Bee." She tried to giggle, stretching a hand out to hold his tiny one that reached for hers. "Oooh, Mommy Tana is back home. Isn't that nice?"

 

Brayden nodded his head, "Yes mama." Santana set him down so he was sitting on the bed with her, careful so he wasn't on her IV or any other hospital wires she was hooked up to. He rubbed his mother's hand clumsily in his, looking at her in worry. "Are you feeling better yet? Can you come home?"

 

Brittney brushed her son's hair back gently, "I'm feeling much better now. That bag is giving me magic fairy water to make me feel all better."

 

"Really mama?" Brayden said in all his childlike wonder, looking at the tube running from her wrist to the IV bag.

 

Santana smiled fondly, "Your mama's right. Everything here is meant to make her healthy again. We'll taker her home once the doctors say she's all better."

 

"Can we just take a fairy home? I promise I won't let Prince Tubbington eat her."

 

She chuckled, "Fairies like to help people. We don't want to be selfish and take a fairy from someone who needs her help, do we?"

 

The little boy sighed dejectedly, lips pushing out into a pout. "No."

 

"That'd my good little Bray-Bray." She smiles, kissing his mop of dark hair.

 

From behind them, "She's been feeling dizzy lately, getting headaches too often for it to be normal." Her father whispered to Kurt, Sugar and Rachel turning to them to listen as well. "It's been happening ever since she found out about you and your husband."

 

"Which we are so sorry to hear about." The mother added, putting her hand on Kurt's back when he noticeably went rigid, not at all deterred by how he hadn't even looked at them yet. They knew the boy was listening.

 

The dad agreed, "Yes, my condolences as well. Brittney, she wanted to go and be there for you so badly, but in her condition that wasn't the best option you see. So she just stayed home, fretted about you until she convinced Santana that she had to be the one to go see you since she didn't have the ability to leave New York. And then…" The father seemed visibly shaken, trying not to show just how worried he was about his daughter. "…then this morning, she got a terrible pain in her upper stomach. She said it hurt so much. We couldn't take any chances, so we drove her straight here. After we got here is when she finally let us know what's been happening, how she hasn't been feeling well."

 

"What's wrong with her?" Sugar asked.

 

"The doctors think its preeclampsia. You know, because of all the stress and worry? So they're going to monitor her a bit more. They're hoping to get blood pressure under control so they don't have to induce labor." Her dad explained.

 

The mother nodded. "We were also hoping bringing Kurt here, so she could see him for herself, would help ease some of her stress. It was the only thing we could think of that might help."

 

Kurt almost couldn't concentrate on the explanation, eyes big and disbelieving as they stared at Brittney lying in the bed. She was propped up against the pillows and giggling with her family, poking Brayden's nose playfully. But what was gathering all of Kurt's attention was the roundness of Britt's belly, protruding from her normally slim frame in a way that could only mean one thing. Her legs were elevated with a pillow and the hand not connected to an IV was rubbing her swollen belly, cradling it preciously. He remembers Santana being pregnant, he even remembers donating the sperm, but what he doesn't remember is Brittney being pregnant.

 

"Dolphin?"

 

Glasz eyes snapped out of his trance, focusing on Brittney smiling at him from her hospital bed. "Kurt, I've been so worried about you." She beckoned him closer, obvious relief washing over her as she was finally able to see her friend. Kurt found himself walking over to her, Brittney being the only one whose words have had a noticeable influence on him. When he reached the bed, she tried to keep her smile firmly in place, but it noticeably wilted the longer she looked at him. Her eyes grew a bit teary, Santana picking Brayden up so Kurt could sit next to Britt and they could talk better. "I'm so sorry Blainey couldn't stay."

 

Kurt started shaking, his breath hitching as his cries threatened to come back. "Brittney." The blonde girl held out her arms, gesturing for Kurt to give her a hug. The broken boy leaned down and buried his face in her neck, Brittney shushing him and rubbing the back of his head.

 

She held onto Kurt as he sobbed helplessly into her shoulder, letting her comfort him. Brittney pulled him back to look at him, smiling sadly. "Can I give you something?" Kurt sniffled pathetically, rubbing under his eyes before nodding slowly. She looked over at her parents. "Mom, there's a letter in my purse. Can you get it?"

 

Her mother nodded quickly, going to the chair her stuff was on and searching through her purse. When she found a crisp white envelope, she walked over and handed it to her daughter. "Here you are."

 

"Thank you." Brittney said, tightening her hold on the envelope for a second before she held it out to Kurt. "This is for you."

 

Curiously, he gingerly took the envelope, turning it over to look at the front of it. His breath caught when he saw the name scribbled across it, not because it was his own, but because he recognized the handwriting it was written in. Kurt's name had been scrawled across the envelope carefully, the person trying to go for a nicer looking penmanship instead of his normal hastily written chicken scratch. He laughed a bit, picturing Blaine trying to write neater and how he just ended up pressing his name harder onto the paper. Kurt almost didn't want to open it, wanting to savor the last unopened letter he had from his solder boy. There were still tears tracking down his face, but at least some were out of a bit of happiness now. He gave Brittney a grateful smile, "Do you know what it says?"

 

She shook her head, "No, but I have an idea." Brittney patted his hand affectionately. "Read it. He wanted you to."

 

The blue-eyed male looked back at the envelope in his lap, tracing the letters of his name lovingly before taking a steadying breath. He flipped over the envelope and so very carefully opened it, not wanting to damage the contents or the envelope itself. Once the last piece of the flap was unstuck, Kurt pulled the letter out, smiling and crying more steadily when he realized Blaine had folded the letter into an origami shaped heart. He shook his head, "You're such a goof." Kurt whispered reverently, unfolding the heart to read what his soldier wanted to tell him.

 

 

 

**I honestly don't know how I'm going to write this, never mind start it.**

 

**All right, I'm just going to get it over with.**

 

**Please don't be mad at me.**

 

**Dear Daddy,**

 

**And no, I don't mean that in a kinky way, even though now that's what I'm thinking about…Wait, no. Focus.**

 

**Kurt, my love. My life. We're going to be parents.**

 

**I love you, Kurt. More than anything in the world. So I really hope you're not too angry with me, I mean if you have to be angry at someone, I guess it should be me. Just don't take it out on Brittney. She's doing this amazing thing for us, for you and me, and she really didn't have to.**

 

**I planned on telling you in person during my next R &R. I didn't want to drop this bombshell on you a few days before I had to leave. That, I know, would have been unfair. But if it turns out you're reading this, then I must not have had the guts to tell you this in person. Because when you're angry, especially at me, it's scarier than any combat zone I have ever been in the middle of.**

 

**After all the talk about us having kids, at least one, I couldn't get it out of my mind. I know you wanted to wait to revisit the subject again once I was officially done with this deployment, but for some reason everything was just telling me that now, the right time is NOW, not another year or whatever. And I guess I've just never been one to ignore my gut. It was stupid, and impulsive, and I can't believe I actually went thought with it. But I did.**

 

**Kurt, Brittney mixed my Anderson with her S. Pierce, and we're having a baby.**

 

**Every time I leave, it hurts me that you're alone and I don't want it to be like that anymore. I will probably miss the birth, which kills me inside, but as long as you're there I'll be happy. Brittney promised she'd send me updates, which I can't thank her enough for. I hope that as the birthdate gets closer, you'll be just as excited as I am. I know you're going to be an amazing father, and spoil him rotten, which I cannot wait for because it will be so cute. I also hope to be a decent dad, but I’m scared. I'm scared I jumped the gun and I'm scared we're not ready and I'm especially scared that you never wanted this, that you were just discussing it to make me happy.**

 

**Please, please tell me I didn't make a horrible mistake. I love you with everything that I am worth and I just know that there isn't anyone else I'd want to share this adventure with. I want us to be a family, raise a family, and be over the fucking moon with a happily ever after and all that Hallmark bullshit. I think we can do this.**

 

**I know we can do this.**

 

**With all my love,**

 

**Forever and ever,**

 

**Your soldier boy,**

 

**Papa Blaine**

 

**P.S. Even if you're royally pissed at me, I'm still going to kiss you breathless and tell you how much I missed you.**

 

**I love you, baby. Nothing will ever change that.**

 

**P.P.S. Look at that sonogram and even try to tell me you're not crazy excited! If not, a little scared.**

 

**Which is okay.**

 

**But…um…you know what, I'm just going to stop now.**

 

**Kisses, my love! xx**

 

"What does it say, Kurt?"

 

"Yeah, come on, the anticipation is killing us…ow! Uh…I mean, unbearable."

 

Kurt's hands were trembling by the time he was finished reading the letter. Ignoring the questions around him, he blindly reached into the envelope and slipped out what was inside. The picture fell from between his fingers the second Kurt's glasz eyes landed on it. He looked back over at Brittney, still unable to process. "Britt, is it true? Did you…for us?"

 

"Did she what?" Sugar whispered, Santana and Rachel both shushing her so they could listen.

 

Brittney just smiled, "I'd do anything for my favorite pretty ponies." Then she took one of his pale trembling hands, cautious as she placed it on a specific spot on her baby bump. "This one is pretty feisty in the morning. Won't stop kicking until I drink some juice." She moved his hand over to another spot. "This baby is quieter. Never any trouble. Just turns every so often, and makes me need to pee." The blonde giggled happily, watching the way Kurt stared at her tummy in awe.

 

"Th-They?"

 

She nodded, "Uh-huh, Brayden thinks they're both boys. I definitely think you have at least one baby girl."

 

A Baby.

 

Two babies.

 

"Blaine and I were going to be parents…?" Kurt finally whispered, twin gasps of breath coming from behind him, presumably from Sugar and Rachel. He could hear Santana telling them to just shut up already.

 

"Don't you see? Blaine isn't gone, not really." Brittney said, letting him know that he really isn't all alone.

 

He had to take his hand away, covering his mouth as his breaths hitched around half-broken cries. "I can't—Britt, I can't."

 

"Can't what, Kurtie?"

 

Kurt made a pained noise. "I am in no position to be a parent. Not like this. Not without Blaine."

 

"We'll help you."

 

Blue eyes whipped around to stare at Rachel, his vision blurring in an all too familiar way. "What are you going to do, Rachel?"

 

"Well—"

 

"Are you going to quit Broadway? Are you going to move back to Lima? Help me shop for freaking baby clothes?!"

 

"I don't know!" She shouted. "I don't know, okay? But I want to help. I'm going to help you. Those are your babies, Kurt. Not only that, but those are BLAINE'S babies."

 

Kurt's jaw tensed, shutting his eyes tightly as more tears slipped out. "I can't even take care of myself, what makes you think I should be responsible for another life? Let alone two."

 

"So what? If you can't do it on your own, move back in with your Dad and Carole." When Kurt snorted, Rachel huffed. "They love you, and you're hurting. There's no shame in seeking help from them." Her friend still didn't look at her, so she continued. "And you know what? Sell the house. Or let Finn live there until you're ready to move back in, I don't know. But it's a start."

 

"Rachel, you don't understand. I probably don't have a job anymore. What am I supposed to do to provide for two kids?" He grit out. There was no way he was ready to be a father. No way.

 

"Can't Blaine's family help with that? The babies are their family too." Sugar inquired.

 

He scoffed, "Blaine's grandfather went to hell and back just to make certain I wouldn't see a dime of what Blaine left me."

 

"What are you talking about?"

 

The paler boy groaned, "Blaine had an inheritance. I guess it was substantial enough that the idea of any portion of the Anderson estate going to his gay grandson and his gay husband was something he couldn't allow."

 

"But if Blaine left it to you, it's yours. You could use it to take care of your kids."

 

"Sugar, I signed it away." Kurt explained to her, "I told him he could have it all. And the last thing I want is to ever ask for a penny of Albert Anderson's money."

 

"Oh my gosh, this is fantastic." Everyone in the room looked at her, minus Brittney of course, giving Sugar a 'wtf' look. Brayden took turns watching them all while he sucked on his thumb.

 

"I feel like if I hit her, then she'll start to make sense." Santana commented.

 

Sugar rolled her eyes, "No, you guys. My daddy hates Albert Anderson."

 

Rachel answered Santana, "I don't think you can hit that hard."

 

She gave them a deadpanned expression, but by that point Kurt was curious himself at what the hell she was referring to. "Sugar, please tell me what you could possibly mean. Santana is not the only one who can get violent."

 

"The Andersons are Motta's biggest competitor business wise. My daddy will do anything to piss off Mr. Albert especially."

 

Kurt still wasn't getting it. "So?"

 

"So?" Sugar parroted. "So daddy will help you. He has a bunch of lawyers they get him out of contracts he signs all the time. They can probably find a hoola loop thingy for you."

 

"Ya mean loop hole?" He clarified.

 

"Right! That!"

 

"Sugar, as nice as it is to offer your father's many lawyers, why on earth would he want to help me?"

 

"Will it make Mr. Albert angry to see you get what Blaine left you?"

 

"Probably."

 

"Then that's reason enough for Daddy Motta." Sugar affirmed.

 

He looked at Sugar, staring at her before turning to make eye contact with each of the other girls, really seeing them and listening to them. Can he really? Should he even try? "You girls are serious. You'd really help me?"

 

"In a heart beat." Rachel walked over, "Blaine wasn't the only person who loved you. We all do too. And this isn't going to be easy. Kids never are, but if you'd let us, we want to be here for you and your family. Right girls?"

 

"Right."

 

"Right!"

 

"Left. Because another right will just make a circle."

 

"Mommy," Brayden whispered to Santana, "does Mama mean a square?"

 

"Yes mijo, but let's just keep that our little secret."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song was 'The One that Got Away (acoustic)' by Katy Perry. OMG GUYS JUST ONE (and maybe a one-shot) CHAPTERS LEFT AHHHH! Please comment, leave a kudos? :D


	12. Epilogue - Our Brave Hero

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Epilogue!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINAL CHAPTER lovelies!
> 
> *WARNING* MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH. Triggers for death of a loved one, mourning, being a single parent and strong language.
> 
> Again, no beta. All mistakes are my own.
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing, nothing, nothing. No profit made etc. See Chapter 1 for more elaborate disclaimer.

(Chapter 12)

 

In the end, they had to induce labor with the twins, a C-section nonetheless. It was too dangerous for Brittney to deliver them naturally. Kurt never left her side, holding her hand on one side while Santana held the other. He had decided to stay with them while they waited for the babies to arrive, Kurt only giving his parents and brother a brief phone call to explain what's happened, what is happening, and what was going to happen. They were definitely surprised, but that didn't stop them from taking the next flight out to New York for their births. He even called Coop and Blaine's parents, both shocked to find out the situation. But they were also amazed, and ecstatic by the turn of events, grateful to have been thought of at all.

 

The waiting room was fuller than usual, Blaine's parents, his brother, Kurt's parents, his own stepbrother, Santana's parents as well as Brittney's, Rachel, and even Sugar. They were all there, taking up the space of the waiting room, Brayden having a grand old time with Queen and begging his grandparents for a dog of his own. When Kurt finally did emerge though, he was stunned, to say the least. Not just from the miracle of life he just witnessed, but from the amount of people waiting for him, for his kids. "I have a son…and a daughter."

 

Guess Brittney was right after all.

 

Kurt knew how hard it was going to be, but once again he was glad that there were people in his life to make things just a little better. He didn't end up moving back in with his dad and Carole, instead, his amazing brother moved in with him. Finn didn't have to, and Kurt told him as much, but apparently it was just one of the times where his big brother wasn't going to let himself lose the argument. Kurt hugged him, and sobbed thankful words into his brother's chest, never feeling like his words of appreciation were enough. Though Finn never gave it a second thought, happy to help his little brother with the drastic changes that occurred in his life. It's what brothers do.

 

Neither one of them knew the first thing about being parents. Finn for the first few weeks scared to death about changing either one of their diapers. It was a slow learning curve for the both of them, that involved fights, emotional breakdowns, and the occasional thought of 'what the fuck did I just do?' Overall though, believe it or not, they were happy. Finn adored his nephew and niece, cooed at their fingers and toes, and encouraged them way too damn much for Kurt to believe it to be healthy. Two little kids being raised by a big kid, Lord help them all. But in all honestly, Kurt wouldn't change a minute of it.

 

Rachel seemed to be a constant presence too. He had no idea how she was keeping up with her Broadway career and making sure the twins grew up to know just who exactly their Auntie Rachel was. Not to mention the rekindled romance that seemed to be occurring between her and Finn. The big lug has had their engagement ring for years. She was only too eager to wear it when he finally presented it to her.

 

Surprisingly though, Sugar was the unexpected hero in all of this. To which Kurt bestowed upon her the esteemed privilege of being godmother to both the twins. True to her word, her father really did hate Albert Anderson as much as his daughter said he did, and looked forward to any chance he got to rile the old man up. Apparently Kurt wasn't the only one who thought he was a prick. Mr. Motta and his lawyers did manage to find a loophole. Even though Blaine had been married legally, Albert fought that the marriage was against his religion. Therefore, he didn't have to recognize it as one, and only one that was seen as a traditionally marriage would entitle Blaine to his inheritance. However, the second instance of Blaine receiving his inheritance was that he had to be having a child. And as luck may have it, Brittney was pregnant before Albert Anderson forced Kurt to sign those papers.

 

It was clear that Mr. Anderson Sr. took back an inheritance that should have no longer been his to take, on more than one instance. Albert had of course been furious that entitlements were being given to the spawn of his deceased homosexual grandson, but not as angry as he was when his wife served him divorce papers, along with the reminder that she never signed a prenuptial agreement. She made sure to take him for everything he was worth. And if the press coverage that absolutely slandered Albert Anderson wasn't enough (that may or may not have been spurred on by Mr. Motta himself), his wife's shares in the company, along with his son and grandson's were certainly enough to force him to step down from his chair as head of Anderson Inc. Paving the way for Wilson to take control of the company. Which actually showed to improve the state of their family business, considering Mr. Motta and Wilson Anderson were able to strike a partnership in the middle of it all. The two found common ground, and an unlikely friendship with one another. Turns out, he really wasn't part of the mafia after all.

 

In any case, Kurt received the inheritance, but he wouldn't use a cent of it. It didn't feel right using it. So instead, he put the money into two equal trusts that the twins would be able to access on their eighteenth birthday. They were to be used towards his kids' futures. In whatever they wished to pursue. Kurt may not be able to provide them with every luxury and spoil, but his tenure with the University was enough. Don't get him wrong though, he was an avid coupon user. It got harder when Finn finally moved out, but Kurt wasn't going to let him stay forever, not when him and Rachel were finally happy together. His brother deserved the chance to be happy, even if it meant him moving to New York with his new wife. He would always be grateful for everything that his family and friends did for him.

 

* * *

 

"GRANDPA, GRANDPA, GRANDPAAAA!" Toni screamed happily, the little girl sprinting towards Burt as soon as her and her brother were through the door. Not even waiting for Kurt or Queen. She leapt as high as she could, which wasn't much for a seven year old, but luckily Burt had grown accustomed to her bouncing personality and caught her mid leap.

 

Burt oofed when he caught her, "Lord Toni, one of these days I'm going to throw out my back trying to catch you."

 

"Nope. You're big and strong. You'll always catch me." She said simply, batting her eyes at him cutely. Toni had Blaine's eyes, bright hazel that shifted anywhere between warm honey and cool jade. Her hair was like Brittney's, dirty blonde that she always had in a messy braid or ponytail. Today Kurt was lucky she let him put a headband with a red bow on it in her hair, two braided pigtails on either side of her head. Unlike Kurt, she very much preferred clothes that were comfortable to run around in than ones that were trendy. "Merry Christmas, Grandma Carole!" She reached over towards the nurse, making grabby hands to give her a hug.

 

"Merry Christmas, sweetie!" Carole giggled, giving the little girl a big hug.

 

Unlike his sister, Devin made sure to wipe his feet on the carpet and put his coat on the rack, a lot less of a handful than his twin sister was. He flopped on the floor and carefully removed his boots, wiggling his sock covered toes once they were free. The little boy was the calmer one, content to just look and observe the world around him. Devin looked so much like Blaine sometimes it hurt, dark curls with olive skin and the cutest little triangular eyebrows. The only difference was that he had Brittney's eyes, azure blue as opposed to Kurt's lighter glasz color. He smiled up at Kurt, handing his dad his hat to hang up because he wasn't tall enough to reach just yet. Queen let the boy use him as leverage while the kid scrambled to stand up. The Akita had grown use to being a variety of things for the twins over the years. He wished Devin could stay little forever, especially since he was the only one who let Kurt indulge in dressing him up. Today his hair had a little gel, while he wore an adorable little Christmas vest that had snowmen on it, and dark pants. "Can I go hug grandma and grandpa now?"

 

Kurt smiled, "Sure kiddo, and tell your sister to come take off her snowy boots. I don't want her dripping water all over your grandparents house."

 

"M'kay." He hurried over to them, giggling in surprise when Burt picked him up in a hug.

 

The professor just watched them all fondly with a smile, the twins were always so happy when they got to see their grandparents. Though he was sure that was because more often than not, that meant they were getting presents, and they knew it. All the commotion led the other guests in the house to the living room, Kurt lighting up when he saw them. "Finn! Rachel!"

 

"UNCLE FINN AND AUNTIE RACHEL!" His kids screeched excitedly, Devin always becoming more excitable when his sister spurred him on. They two ran over to hug them, Kurt right behind them as Finn lifted his niece up to place her on his shoulders. "Toni! How's my bestest little all-star?"

 

She laughed, holding on to his offered hands for balance, "Awesome, Uncle Finn! You should have seen me in our last basketball game. I made four whole baskets!"

 

"That's my girl!" Finn held a hand out so she could high-five him.

 

Rachel crouched down and hugged Devin to her, squishing their faces together. "Oh my big boy Devin, look how much you've grown. You look so handsome!" She gushed, Devin blushing as she fussed over him.

 

"Merry Christmas, Auntie." He said shyly, blinking up at Kurt when Rachel kept pinching his cheeks and peppering lipstick kisses on his face. His look saying, 'help me!'

 

He chuckled, "What's gotten into you?"

 

"Look at his gorgeous little face! Don't you just want to eat him up?!" She cooed, completely bypassing the question. Devin looked scared for a moment, like he thought she actually might try to do so.

 

Finn cleared his throat, lifting Toni off his shoulders to set her back down on the floor. Much to the little girl's dismay, if her strung out whine of 'awwwwwww' was anything to go by. "Rachel, I thought we decided we were going to tell everyone the good news?" He stressed.

 

Carole walked over to them, curious about the last tidbit she heard. "What good news?"

 

Rachel kissed Devin's cheek one last time, the little boy wrinkling his nose and trying to wipe away the lipstick his aunt branded him with. She stood up and bashfully batted at Finn's arm. "Fiiiinn."

 

Kurt could see Carole preparing to vibrate out of her shoes. "Guys, the anticipation is about to kill Carole. Don't keep us waiting!"

 

Finn looked at Rachel, then Rachel looked at Finn as they clasped their hands together. Both of them mouthed a quick 'I love you' before shouting, "We're pregnant!"

 

The squeals that followed were ear-shattering, to the point where the twins had to cover their ears at the sound. Kurt would never say his father squealed, but he was sure he did the 'manly' equivalent of it. Carole gushed and hugged Rachel, teary eyed the both of them. Burt went over and clasped Finn on the back, congratulating the new father before they switched. Finn was enveloped in a hug by his mother, the woman whispering something like 'it's about time!' Rachel sniffled happily, letting Burt give her a one-arm hug, as she couldn't help the happy tears from falling. Finn handed her a tissue so she could dab under her eyes, "Hormones."

 

"It is not!"

 

He chuckled at her, "Sure babe."

 

She sniffed primly at him, Toni tugging on her sleeve to catch her attention. "When are you going to buy the baby?"

 

The adults looked at Toni quizzically, then at Kurt. He coughed uncomfortably, "Couple years ago when we went up and visited Santana and Brittney, Santana revealed that she was pregnant again. If you wish to explain things, because I'm certainly not, go ahead."

 

Rachel opened her mouth, before closing it abruptly. She stared down at the two little young children looking up at her, curiosity clear on their faces. Quickly she glanced at Finn, who was of no help to her, he obviously wasn't ready to give the explanation either. After a moment of thought, she clapped her hands together, "How about some presents!?"

 

The kids cheered, jumping up and down in their newfound excitement. Attention completely redirected. Every adult in the room visibly relaxed.

 

* * *

 

 

Kurt watched fondly from the couch as the kids handed out the presents that weren't theirs and tore through the ones that were. Rolling his eyes when Finn got them matching Batman and Superman pajamas. Like really, at this rate his little girl will never let him put her in a dress. His dad wasn't much help either, buying both of them baseball mitts, caps, and bats. Huh, maybe this was how his dad felt when he asked for a tea set that one Christmas. Truth be told, Devin was more interested in the set of Legos Rachel had bought for them. The boy was already making some sort of towering monstrosity next to the Christmas tree. Queen was lying on his side like the big lazy lump of fur he grew to be in his old age, more or less content now to just be a snuggly pillow for the twins. The dog yawned hugely, belly full of doggie treats his two little humans insisted on getting him as a Christmas present.

 

"So Kurt, what's new?" Rachel asked him, the both of them relaxing while Finn and Toni competed in some Wii Sports, Burt waiting to play winner. They both already knew they were going to let Toni win. Devin was content with babbling at Carole while he built his creation. No one knew exactly what it was yet, but that didn't deter his grandmother from looking impressed by it.

 

He gave her a small smile, "Nothing much really. Devin sang in the Christmas pageant. He was one of the choir of angels. The little guy practiced for weeks so he could be just as good as the big kids. He was so happy with himself once it was done, and I couldn't have been prouder."

 

Rachel hummed, "Maybe he has a talent for singing like Blaine?"

 

"Maybe." The professor agreed. "Guess we'll see."

 

"And what about my favorite little tomboy?"

 

Kurt snorted. "I tried putting her in Pep Squad."

 

"I take it by your tone it didn't go over very well?"

 

"Toni was kicked out."

 

"What? What on earth for?"

 

"She…um…she kind of pushed one of the other girls into the dirt…then sat on her." Kurt tried to hide his grin.

 

"Oh my gosh, she didn't." When Kurt just nodded, Rachel started giggling. "Why?"

 

"Not entirely sure of the details. The little girl said something along the lines of 'hey, I didn't know smelly boys were allowed to join'." He scoffed. "Needless to say, fighting isn't tolerated in Pep Squad."

 

"Wow, is it bad I kind of want to hug her and tell her how awesome she is?"

 

"Yes!" Kurt laughed. "I had enough trouble trying not to do it myself. But you know, apparently that wouldn't be setting a very good example for them. I talked to her about what she did. She knows it was wrong, and I told her if she does it again she's not allowed to go to basketball practice. I swear she gets her impulsive nature from Blaine though. Hopefully next time she'll think before she acts when someone picks on her. I don't like that some girls pick on her for just being who she is, but that doesn't mean I want her tackling every little bully to the ground either."

 

She twirled a piece of her hair in contemplation. "So she's different. You know a lot about that, don't you?"

 

He sighed, "I guess. But I don't exactly want her to have my same experience."

 

"Kurt, they're seven years old. Now is the time for them to be whatever they want, and not worry about what other people think. Trust me, when they're older there will be too much time for that, and then some." The Broadway star said, knowing what it's like to be on the receiving end of certain criticisms.

 

"If you say so." He ran a hand through his hair tiredly. "Sometimes I just wish I could…talk things out with him. See if I'm even remotely close to being a decent parent."

 

"You are." She tried to reassure.

 

"But he would have been so much better than me. I feel like he would know what to do in situations like this. I'm making everything up as I go here." He stressed.

 

Rachel chuckled, "Isn't that what parenting is? Fumbling along and hoping you don't screw up your kid?"

 

"That's not very comforting." Kurt deadpanned.

 

She just shrugged, "I feel like that's what all parents do. There's no single right way. We all grew up differently, and I still think we turned out okay. Give or take a few quirks." Rachel smiled.

 

"But how do I know what I'm doing isn't one of the wrong ways?"

 

The Broadway actress looked at him, then at his kids, directing Kurt's gaze to them. "Just look at them. If what you're doing is screwing them up so badly, why do they look so happy?"

 

Kurt stared at her for a moment, before flicking his gaze back over to his kids. Finn was on the floor, feigning devastation at the loss of his tournament against Toni. Who happened to be jumping up and down excitedly, trying to tug Burt out of his recliner so he could compete against her now. He was always amazed at how much energy she had, but lucky her uncle and grandpa were there to tucker her out. Thank goodness. Devin was wearing the Lego bucket on his head, crawling around the Lego tower while he explained something very seriously to Carole. It was with that, Kurt let out a long breath, leaning his head back against the couch. "When did you start to get all wise and such? I feel like you actually make sense now."

 

Rachel flipped her hair over her shoulder, not even hiding her smugness as she patted his arm. "I can't explain it. Must be this newfound motherhood thing. I mean, after all the morning sickness, the aching, the heartburn, the stretch marks, the giving over of my body to another human being, I damn well better get something for what I'm about to go through. The least I could get after all the inconveniences is a little motherly intuition."

 

"Ya know, besides getting the miracle of you and Finn combined in one convenient cute little package."

 

"Yeah, besides that."

 

He chuckled at her, shaking his head. "I have missed you."

 

"And I've missed you." She took one of his hands, "So what about you, Kurt? What's new with you? Got your eye on anybody yet? Maybe a forbidden love affair with the Dean of the University?"

 

"She's a woman."

 

"A student then? Fellow professor maybe?" Kurt didn't look her way, just stared at Queen who sniffed interestedly at one of the baseball mitts. He better not be thinking of doing what Kurt thinks he's getting ready to do. "Come on, give me something."

 

"There's nothing to give. I haven't been interested in anybody. Why would I?"

 

His friend frowned, "Kurt, after all this time. Not ONE person has caught your attention? Not even a little bit?"

 

"Nope."

 

"Well, what about Sebastian? I thought you talk to him every so often."

 

The professor shrugged noncommittally, "Rachel, I don't talk to him for THAT. He's just a friend. Someone who…who gets it, okay? He understands what it's like, what I'm going through. We're there for each other when need be."

 

"You know you have me, Kurt."

 

He just smiled at her softly, "I know that. I do. And I love you dearly for that. You, and Finn, and Sugar, and everybody. You guys have been amazing. But Sebastian, he's been through the same thing I have. He knows what it's like to feel like you've lost everything." Kurt finished off with a whisper, downcasting his gaze when he felt his glasz eyes threaten to become misty.

 

"I'm sorry. You're right. I shouldn't have said anything."

 

Kurt cleared his throat, blinking away whatever emotions crawled its way up. He plastered on his best grin, "It's all right. I'M all right." Stressing his point.

 

Rachel pursed her lips for a moment, studying him. "Are you sure?"

 

Before he answered, Kurt did take a moment to think about what he'd said. Finding that, it was true. He was finally beginning to feel content with his life, despite the twists and turns he's never wanted to happen. It was still hard, and he still thinks of Blaine every moment of every day, but it didn't feel like it did before. Kurt didn't feel as hopeless. All he had to do was look at his kids. Look at Devin, watching him grow into the handsome young boy he is and show an interest in music like the man he resembles. Or look at Toni, watch her face when her hazel eyes light up and when she flounces around like the adorable goober she is. They got the best of Blaine. There isn't much more he could ask for than that. "Actually, yeah, I think I am."

 

* * *

 

 

"But Daaad, m'not tired." Toni said around a huge yawn, Kurt struggling to carry his two kids who were nothing more than sleepy limp noodles at this point.

 

"Uh-huh, sure." He hummed, depositing his two kids into their shared bed for the night. Toni already in her brand new Batman pajamas while Devin wore his Superman ones. The little Hummel-Anderson family had the tradition of spending the night at their grandparents' house on Christmas Eve. A tradition the twins were always excited for. "And even if I did believe that, why would you want to stay up any later anyways? The longer you stay up, the sleepier you'll be on Christmas Day. What fun can you possibly have with your new toys if you're yawning like you are now?" The father reminded, tickling their sides a bit just to see them grin sleepily and wriggle with laughter.

 

Queen trotted in when he heard the commotion, propping his head on the bed as he contemplated whether or not he was going to jump up on it. He woofed softly, deciding against it as he plopped down on the rug at the foot of the bed. The old boy wasn't much for strenuous activity anymore, opening his chops to yawn sleepily before resting his head on his forepaws to settle in for some much needed sleep. "Is that why you didn't give us our present yet, Daddy? You wanted to wait till Christmas Day?" Devin inquired, lying down and turning on his side to look up at his dad with those big blue eyes of his.

 

"Present? I don't remember getting you guys any present." Kurt just shrugged, sitting on the edge of the bed while he tried to tuck his two kids in for the night. "You have enough presents already. I don't think you need one from me too." He teased.

 

The kids didn't notice his teasing cheekiness, taking him for being serious. "No, no, no, no, no! We want our present! We want our present!" They started riling up, Toni already jumping up and down on the bed, loose strands of her blonde hair swishing into her face.

 

Kurt shushed them down hurriedly, not wanting to disturb Grandpa Burt and Grandma Carole who had already retired to bed. "All right, all right, all right! Tell you two what, if you two promise to calm down, I'll give you your presents." He enticed, the excited little bundles immediately settling down, Toni even slapping her small hands over her mouth so she wouldn't let out another peep. "Now close your eyes." The father instructed, waiting for them to comply before he reached under the bed to pull out their gifts. Kurt had placed them there right before he scooped up his children to get them ready for bed. "Merry Christmas!"

 

Toni and Devin opened their eyes, faces lighting up and Kurt fearing for his life when Toni's overly excited squeals most definitely must have woken someone up. He was trying to calm them down when four small arms wrapped around him, Devin around his neck and Toni around his middle. Kurt couldn't help but laughed at their twin chants of 'thank you, thank you, thank you.'

 

"Daddy, I love him!" The little girl then squished her new teddy bear to her face, tightening her hold on the stuffed animal dressed in a green and brown army uniform.

 

"It's so squishy." Devin giggled, testingly squeezing the fluff stuffed tummy of his own identical army themed teddy bear. "They're just like the one Papa gave you, isn't it?"

 

Their dad was caught off guard by that statement, always surprised when his kids brought Blaine up so casually. "Yeah, you're right." He smiled a bit, "You remember the story?"

 

Devin nodded, "Mhmm. Valentine's Day."

 

"Oh, oh, oh!" Toni bounced on her knees, "I remember too. Papa was all romantical with you. He took you to the park, and made you a picnic, and—and strawberries, and he loved you!" She said confidently.

 

Kurt nodded, smile widening at their memory. "Yes. I didn't realize you two paid such close attention when I tell you stories about your Papa."

 

"Course we do. We love stories about Papa." Toni said distractedly, making her bear walk across the comforter.

 

"I like them too." He admitted.

 

"Then why do you get sad every time you talk about Papa?" Devin asked, tucking his bear under his arm.

 

He stiffened somewhat, surprised by his child's keen observations. "Sad? What do you mean sad?"

 

"It's why we don't ask for more stories." His girl said distractedly, starting to yawn again as exhaustion started creeping back up on her. "Sometimes you seem happy when talking about Papa Blaine, but then you always get a little sad. We don't like it when you're sad. So we try not to upset you by asking."

 

Devin nodded agreeably, "We always wait for when we see Uncle Cooper. Or Grandma Sharon and Grandpa Wilson."

 

"Don't forget Auntie Tana!"

 

"Auntie Tana tells us lots of funny ones." The little boy giggled, crawling back over to his pillow and wiggling back under the comforter. "I miss them. Not even G-Ma comes around that much."

 

Kurt sighed, coaxing Toni back under the comforter as well so he could tuck them both in. "I'm sure she misses you too. But you know how G-Ma Sugar and your Uncle Coop have been getting along. They like each other, so they're just trying to spend time with one another." He tried to explain, "In a few days, we're going to fly up to New York and visit everyone you miss. You two love spending New Years in New York, don't you?"

 

"Yes." They said at the same time, both using their soft sleepy voice.

 

"Good. Now, why don't you go sleep? Another fun-filled day is to be had tomorrow. And you know what Christmas morning means." He grinned.

 

Toni blinking slowly as she struggled to smile. "Funny face chocolate chip pancakes."

 

"Mmm…I can't wait." Devin responded, cuddling his bear close to him.

 

"That's right." Kurt said, tucking them under the covers as securely as he's learned to do. He brushed some hair away from Toni's face, and then did the same with Devin's now ungelled curls. "I'm sorry you felt you couldn't ask me about your Papa. Thinking about him doesn't make me sad. It makes me very happy actually. It's just…remembering how much he loved me, how much we loved each other, sometimes I just get sad that I can't tell him that anymore." His voice quivered, feeling that dull throb in his heart ache again. "But your Papa loved you both very much, just like I do."

 

"Love you too, Daddy."

 

"Love Papa too."

 

The twins told him, Kurt letting out a wet laugh. "Yes, well, I guess I should let you two get some sleep now, huh?"

 

"Wait!" Devin stopped him suddenly, surprising Kurt by his outburst. The little boy glanced at his sister, as if looking for her support, and she must have given it when she nodded at him surely. He sat up slightly, working himself up for what he was about to say. "Dad, can you tell us a bedtime story?" His soft voice was hesitant. "A-About Papa?"

 

Their dad let out an amused huff. "I promise I'll tell you two a story tomorrow. Right now, I don't think y'all will be able to stay awake long enough for one."

 

"What about a song!?" Toni compromised desperately.

 

"A song…" The professor repeated skeptically, raising an eyebrow.

 

"Y-Yeah, we like it when you sing to us. You don't sing to us enough."

 

Both of them were giving him big puppy dog eyes, the one thing Kurt really wished they hadn't gotten from his curly haired Sergeant. In reality he loved their kicked puppy expressions, just not when they were used on him. "Please." They pleaded together, their full on double pouting powers aimed his way.

 

"Maybe one that reminds you of Papa?" Devin tried again.

 

Kurt was not able to say no when they both stared up at him like that. He smirked a bit, "All right. One song. Then straight to bed." His voice was a little bit more stern, a fatherly tone to it if you will.

 

The kids both nodded eagerly, smiling brighter as they got themselves settled in for sleep, cuddling their father's presents to them more securely while they waited and listened. Kurt quickly went through his mental arsenal of songs, trying to figure out which one to soothe them to sleep with. But there was only one prepared and sitting in the back of his mind, one that he'd previously planned to sing just for himself in a less audienced setting. Well, hopefully this little number would lull them enough to start snoozing.

 

**Say good-bye to not knowing when**

**The truth in my whole life began**

**Say good-bye to not knowing how to cry**

**You taught me that**

_Kurt, huh? I like it._

 

_Well, I'm so happy you approve._

 

_My name is Blaine._

 

**And I'll remember the strength that you gave me**

**Now that I'm standing on my own**

**I'll remember the way that you saved me**

**I'll remember**

_I'm a soldier…in the army._

 

_Like…the U.S. Army?_

 

_Yes, and I'm being deployed._

 

**Inside I was a child**

**That could not mend a broken wing**

**Outside I looked for a way**

**To teach my heart to sing**

_I know I'm not ready to say goodbye to you._

 

_Then, will you do something for me? Will you write to me?_

 

**And I'll remember the love that you gave me**

**Now that I'm standing on my own**

**I'll remember the way that you changed me**

**I'll remember**

_Sweet dreams, Kurt._

_I love you._

 

**I learned**

**To let go**

**Of the illusion that we can possess**

_I love you too…soldier boy._

 

**I learned**

**To let go**

**I travel in stillness**

_This is Kurt, my boyfriend._

 

**And I'll remember**

**Happiness**

**I'll remember**

_Just promise you're going to come back!_

 

_Kurt, know that I will always, ALWAYS, come back to you._

 

**And I'll remember the love that you gave me**

**Now that I'm standing on my own**

**I'll remember the way that you changed me**

**I'll remember**

_Get a move on soldier boy. I'll be here when you get back._

 

**No I've never been afraid to cry**

**Now I finally have a reason why**

**I'll remember**

_Blaine Devon Anderson, my brave Sergeant, my selfless hero, my one true love, will you do me the honor of becoming my amazing, AMAZING husband?_

 

**No I've never been afraid to cry**

**Now I finally have a reason why**

**I'll remember**

_Through desert storms or hurricanes, I'd cross oceans and continents just to be by your side._

 

**No I've never been afraid to cry**

**And I finally have a reason why**

**I'll remember**

_It's impossible for me to not love you. I think it's written into our DNA to love each other._

 

**No I've never been afraid to cry**

**And I finally have a reason why**

**I'll remember**

_You're my perfect place, Kurt._

 

The widower sniffled at the end of it, subtly wiping under his eyes where he felt wet tears. He looked down at his kids' faces, feeling the ends of his lips quirk up slightly at the sight of their closed lids. Kurt leaned over and gently placed a kiss on each other their foreheads. "Sweet dreams, babies. I love you both very, very much."

 

* * *

 

It was early the morning Kurt decided to visit Blaine on his own, smiling when he came upon the homemade wreathe he and the kids had made for their Papa. He knelt down in the snow and wiped away some frost from the words on his husband's headstone with a gloved hand. The professor removed the dead and frozen bouquet of flowers he had left from last time to replace with his new set of fresh red and yellow roses.

 

**_In Loving Memory of our Brave Hero_ **

 

**_Sgt. Blaine Devon Anderson-Hummel_ **

 

**_Seasons may change…Winter to Spring_ **

 

**_But you are loved until the end of time_ **

 

Kurt smiled when he was able to wipe away the cold ice that had been covering up his husband's inscription, kneeling up some so he could dust off the top as well. He sat back on his haunches once he was satisfied with the state of Blaine's grave, looking around cautiously only to see two or three people in the cemetery this early in the morning. Thankfully it looked as if no one would disturb him while he was there. More often than not, Kurt would bring their kids whenever he came so they too could visit their Papa. However, every once in a while, he just needed some time by himself with his soldier boy.

 

"Merry Christmas, my love. It's been…not that long actually. You must be getting tired of seeing my face all the time." He chuckled to himself, shuddering through his laugh when he felt the cool wet snow seep through the fabric of his jeans.

 

"I hope you enjoyed the wreathe. I helped with it very little, hence the mass amounts of glitter and odd assortment of glued on knick-knacks: ornaments, tiny toy dinosaurs, and my favorite whisk. Your kids are certainly uninhibited when it comes to their creativity." Glasz eyes glared mockingly, fingers flicking at the red ribbon that tied the kitchen utensil to the green Christmas decoration.

 

"We're visiting your family in a few days. I almost dread it because of how much they spoil the twins. Your brother included." Kurt couldn't keep the smile off his face. "Remember the one from a couple of years ago? The one where wonderful Uncle Coop thought getting them battery operated toy jeeps was a good idea? Poor Queen. The kids had too much fun chasing him around in those things."

 

He wrapped his arms around himself, rubbing his palms up and down his forearms to get a small amount of heated friction. "Did you know Sugar and your brother are starting to get serious? It was one of those things where I was surprised it happened, but then I'm like 'wait, no I can believe it.' They are weirdly compatible, and I think you'd get a kick out of their…interactions with each other. She got him to quit with that dramatic pointing thing, even I was shocked." Kurt's jaw started to quiver, the freeze threatening to chatter his teeth. "We're gonna be uncles too. Finn and Rachel are having a kid. These last couple of years they've been so happy, and I'm glad for them. After everything they've done for me, Sugar and your brother included, I wish them all the happiness in the world."

 

A tear slipped out and slid down the side of his cheek, Kurt quickly reached up to swipe it away. "You should see how big the twins have gotten since the last time they were here. Toni is growing like a weed. She is SO hyperactive. Apparently just like you were according to your mother." He tried to giggle some, but it just sounded like he was chocking on a cry. "I wish you could see Devin. The bigger he gets, the more and more he reminds me of you. He might even like performing." His voice cracked at the end, Kurt squeezing his eyes shut for a moment as more tears tracked down his face.

 

"More than anything I wish you were raising them with me. They would absolutely adore you, like I always have." He started sniffling, breaths hitching around his next words. "I tried being mad at you. For so long I tried to be angry at you for leaving me, but it's just too exhausting. It's exhausting trying to be mad at you when all I do is miss you so damn much. I mean, fuck, I still write to you. I can't help it. There are PILES of letters for you under our bed. And I-I um...I brought you one I wrote a couple days ago too." The blue-eyed male reached into his coat pocket, hesitantly pulling out a crumpled looking envelope. "Here, let me just, I'm going to put it right here. Give you something to read for later." He slipped the envelope in alongside his flowers. Other times it was more than one, either from him or from the twins. He never wanted his husband to feel like he wasn't apart of their lives anymore. "Sometimes, I pretend you're just away on another mission. Because it doesn't hurt so much if I just pretend, ya know?" Kurt was about to reach up and wipe his face with the back of his hands when he felt the clammy leather of his gloves against his face. The feeling had him biting the fingertips and ripping both gloves off his hands in agitation, pads of his soft fingers rubbing away the moisture while he tried to clear his throat from the beginnings of emotional scratchy rawness.

 

"I miss your face. I miss your voice. I miss your smell, your kiss, your touch. I miss the way you used to hold me, or how it felt to have you wrapped up in my arms when you were safe at home with me…I even miss fighting with you. Those stupid, STUPID disagreements we had." It hurt when he sucked in ragged breaths, the frozen air biting at his now chattering teeth. "And I don't know what I'm doing. Without you I don't feel like anything is r-right. Everything you said you wanted is right here, and you're not. You s-said nothing would ever keep you away! Because you promised, you promised you'd always come back!" The blue-eyed man shouted, chocking on his own sobs and burying his face in hands. No matter how much time has passed, no matter how hard he's tried to move on, it never got any easier. The pain, it never seemed to go away. "This wasn't supposed to be us. We weren't supposed to end up like this."

 

_Kurt…_

 

His head jerked up, face cold and wetness freezing against his skin as the brisk winter air blew across his face. It happened every time he came alone. A light whisper in the back of his mind, that if it were any quieter, it wouldn't have been heard at all. He never told anyone when it happened, afraid that if he spoke about it, verbally acknowledged it to other people, it may stop happening. The widower never knew if it was just his desperate imagination, a vivid memory, or if his grief actually caused him to go insane for a split second. But it's all he had now, and regardless of the cause, he always wished he could have more. Everything in him was trying to bring back that instant, praying for at least on more second. Kurt reached down the front of his layers, grabbing ahold of the hidden dog tags he always wore and just running his fingers over the worn etchings of the familiar name. "I still love you, Blaine. And I'll never stop loving you."

 

_It was an honor to be loved by you._

 

The wind picked up again, Kurt finally able to offer a soft genuine smile as the whisper warmly caressed his ear, and his eyes fluttering closed with the tenderness of the sensation. He breathed in the cool snowy-morning air, savoring this moment for as long as he could manage it. "You will always be my soldier boy."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was Madonna's 'I'll Remember.' And guys, GUYS. It's over. This FIC. It's finally done. And I think I'm going to cry.
> 
> I just want to say thank you to everyone who bookmarked, subscribed, left a kudos, and commented on this fic. This precious baby has been completed and I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. If you've been reading this fic, and you haven't left a comment, I encourage you to do so for the last time! You lovelies are the best and I hope the ending was a sufficient one. Thank you for sticking with this story, every single one of you are amazing, and if you REALLY enjoyed this story, feel free to share it! Let others go through the array of emotions you've just gone through. I love you. ;)
> 
> P.S. One-Shot Alternate Ending where Blaine lives is coming soon. I'll post it in companion to this in a series fashion. So look out for that! :)


	13. ALTERNATE ENDING ALERT

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One-Shot Alternate Ending!
> 
> One-Shot Alternate Ending!
> 
> :D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all you lovely people!
> 
> No, this is not the alternate ending that you guys requested.
> 
> BUT!
> 
> The alternate ending has been posted as a one-shot on AO3.

The Alternate Ending One-Shot is called **Do You Remember?**

And as you can see, I put **I'll Remember** and the alternate ending one-shot into a series.

All you have to do is click over to the second part of the series to read the one-shot where Blaine lives.

Easy as that! And I hope you enjoy it. :D

Leave kudos, comment, do all that good stuff when you get there. :)

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks again everyone for your massive love on this story, it really has been great, and i can't wait to see what you all think of the other fics i plan to post.
> 
> You guys shall hear from me in another fic.
> 
> Cyber hugs and kisses!


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